Written by: Amanda
Hi! This is my first fanfic ever, but I know my charectors really well. =) My favourites are Chandler and Monica, and this fanfic is mostly about them. So enjoy, and send any comments to: email@example.com
Disclamer: These charectors do not belong to me, but to Bright, Kaufman and Crane Produtions and Warner Bros. Their use is not intended for profit, only for entertainment.
SCENE 1: [Central Perk. All are there except Ross. Monica is telling them about a contest at the museum Ross works at.]
JOEY: Uh..what was it again?
MONICA: [sighs] Weren't you listening? This is the third time Ive had to repeat this!
JOEY: ..I know, but I was practicing all of my different facial expressions. Watch this. [makes sad,happy,angry,confused faces repeatedly]
PHEEBS: Oooh cool! Can I see that again?
[ all except Joey glare at Pheebs]
MONICA: Ahem. Now as I was saying...Ross has to take a written test and label all the parts of a dinosaur.
JOEY: Whoa! thats alot of parts!
MONICA: [gives Joey an impatient look] If youd just let me finish...Then, he has to put a dinosaur skeleton together with all the parts in the right places. The person that has all the bones in the correct places wins, and if Ross wins, We get 1000 dollars and a trip to Dino-Town to go on a fossil dig!
PHEEBS: Ok, the 1000 dollars sounds great, but who wants to go to an old park just to dig up rocks? I mean, theres nothing special about them. Just the hard sandy remains of a DEAD CREATURE THAT ONCE LIVED!!!!
JOEY: Easy Pheebs, calm down! If we find a fossil, we take it to the museum, and they put it in this display case with our names on a shiny gold plaque and stuff! We may even get more money!
PHEEBS: Wow! When you put it that way, it sounds cool!
ROSS: [Enters and says that whiny, dejected hiii we know so well.]
CHANDLER: So, how'd it go?
ROSS: Well...I WON! I WON!!!
RACHEL: And that means...
ROSS: Were goin downtown to Dino-Town!!!!
ALL: All right! Ya! Whoohoo! [assorted high-fives, hugs, jumping up and down.]
RACHEL: Ok so when do we leave? Cuz I have a date with Joshua tonight and wont be able to pack till later.
ROSS: Tomorrow morning, 6:00 sharp.
MONICA: Tomorrow??? Oh my gosh! Ill never be ready by then! Have to pack, should clean the apartment, cant leave it looking so messy...oh god oh god..
CHANDLER: Mon, relax! Well all help! ...wont we guys?
ALL: Oh ya..yes..ya, well help
MONICA: Aw, thanx you guys! I really appreciate this.
RACHEL: No problem. Anything to help.
MONICA: Well, Im gonna go get a head start. You guys coming?
ALL: No..no well..well catch up.
CHANDLER: Well...oh what the heck! Ill come with you Mon. Mon?
MONICA: Last one theres a rotten egg! [runs]
CHANDLER: Hey! wait up! Slow down! Hey! [laughs and runs after her]
SCENE 2: [Monica and Rachels apartment. Chandler is helping Monica clean.]
MONICA: Ok. Chandler, you wash the floors. Ill pack.
CHANDLER: The floor? But Itll be the hardest to clean! Couldnt I like, dust the TV or something?
MONICA: Hey, you said youd help clean. So, HELP CLEAN! Cmon! Packings going to be hard enough to do without worrying about the floor too!
CHANDLER: Well...Oooh! ok! [Suddenly gets an idea]
MONICA: Chandler, whats up? I know that twinkle in your eyes you get when you have an idea. What is it?
CHANDLER: Oh nothing, its-its nothing.
MONICA: Well, ok, But when Im done packing I want those floors sparkling clean! Right?
CHANDLER: Yes Mam ! [does a salute]
MONICA: I cant hear you!
CHANDLER: YES MAM !! [salutes]
MONICA: THATS BETTER! OK! FOREWORD MARCH! [Starts to march into her bedroom.] ARENT YOU COMING?
CHANDLER: No, you said I should clean the floors.
[When Monica is in her bedroom, Chandler puts some
rock n roll music on, grabs a mop and starts to dance and sweep, pretending to lip sync and holds the mop handle like its a microphone. Jailhouse Rock is playing]
MONICA: Hmmm...lets see..bubble bath...PJS..lint magnet... bath kit...books.. First Aid Kit...What is that pounding noise? Its giving me a headache! [Comes out of her room and sees Chandler doing his Chandler Dance and singing out loud.]
CHANDLER: [Sings] Oh were doin the jailhouse rock! Ya were doin the jail house rock! Doin the jailhouse rock! Ya baby! Ya ba- [sees Monica and stops]
MONICA: Chandler! WHAT are you doing??? You're SUPPOSED to be cleaning! Not singing and dancing! look! theres a big juice stain right there! Get back to work!
CHANDLER: That is so not true! I was cleaning....with a twist and dancing and singing. Ok ok. Ill just clean. No music. No dancing. Just cleaning. [sighs]
MONICA: Oh all right. You can do your dance. Its kind of cute. [smiles]
CHANDLER: Thanx! [does his dance. Monica giggles.]
SCENE 3: [A fancy restaurant Rachel is ending her date with Joshua.]
RACHEL: So uh, how are your parents?
JOSHUA: Well, after seeing you in your umm, dress they kind of..this is so hard..wont allow me to see you anymore.
RACHEL: What??? But it was a misunderstanding! They cant just..rip us apart forever!
JOSHUA: I know I know! I tried explaining, but they wont listen. I would take action and keep seeing you anyway, but they said if they saw you like that again, theyd call the police and have you put in jail! I couldnt let that happen to you. Im sorry, but after tonight, thats it. Im so sorry.
RACHEL: [hugs Joshua, almost crying]
JOSHUA: Well..I guess.. this is goodbye. Wait. Not goodbye, just see you around.
RACHEL: [sniffs] Y-ya..s-see you around, Joshua.
JOSHUA: See you around. [They both start to walk away, but turn around at the same time and hug again.]
RACHEL: Goodbye..[walks away still crying]
SCENE 4: [Joey and Chandlers apartment. Pheebs is helping Joey pack.]
JOEY: Pheebs, could you pass me my hat?
PHEEBS: You mean this floppy looking thing?
JOEY: No, the other one.
PHEEBS: this one?
JOEY: No! The other one! You know, the one Chandler gave me for my birthday?
JOEY: Oh forget it! Ill get it myself! [grumbles]
PHEEBS: Ok, Joey? You can quit playing Mr.-I-have-to-boss-Pheobe-around-cuz-Im-a-guy game now. You're being too pushy! you're being...you're being Monica!
JOEY: [ Taking this as an insult, Joey gasps and points at Phoebe.]
JOEY: Well you...Oh I cant take this anymore! Im going to help Chandler and Monica pack! [slams the door and does so.]
JOEY: Hey guys, its Joey.
MONICA: [opens the door] Joey! what are you doing here?
CHANDLER: Ya, whats up man?
JOEY: Pheebs was helpin me pack, and I asked her to pass me my hat..she kept getting me the wrong ones..n we just started calling each other names and stuff so..I came over to help you guys cuz..I knew you wouldnt make fun of me. [sulks]
MONICA: Oh Joey. Phoebe likes you! ...Hold on..how long have you two been packing?
JOEY: six hours.
MONICA: Well that explains it! Youve been with each other too long! When two people are together for too long, they start to fight.
JOEY: But you and Chandler...
CHANDLER: Well, were different. Over the years, weve learned to tolerate each other..and we have a better friendship because of that. [looks at Monica lovingly]
JOEY: ..ya.. you're right..but I should give Pheebs a chance to cool off first. And in the meantime, I wanna help you guys..cuz...you're my best friends.
CHANDLER: You're our best friend too Joe. [the three of them hug]
SCENE 5: [Monica and Rachels apartment. Phoebe is absent. Rachel enters.]
ROSS: Hey Rache, you're home early. Whats up?
RACHEL: [sniffs] Joshua and I broke up.
MONICA: Oh Rachel! Thats terrible! How..how did it happen?
RACHEL: Well, you know when Joshuas parents saw me in that..uh..dress thingy?
RACHEL:..Well, his parents said we..we cant see each other anymore. If they saw me like that again, theyd have me put in jail!
ROSS: Were so sorry. [everyone gathers around Rachel and hugs her] [Phoebe enters.]
PHEEBS: Hi! Ooh..why is the air in here so negative?
ROSS: [ Motions that Joshua and Rachel broke up.]
PHEEBS:[understanding, Phoebe comes over and joins in the hug without saying anything.]
SCENE 6: [Joey and Chandlers apartment. Phoebe is sitting in the recliner chair in the living room. Joey enters.]
JOEY: Hey Chandler. You packed yet? Chandler?
[The recliner turns around, and Joey sees its Phoebe.] Pheebs???
PHEEBS: [glares at Joey]
JOEY: Ok look. Im..Im sorry I walked out on you like that when we were packing. I talked to Chandler and Monica, and they said when two people are together too long, they start to fight...like we did. Im sorry. [hangs his head.]
PHEEBS: ..Joey..Im sorry too. I shouldn't have called you pushy and bossy. I didnt mean it. I guess I just needed a break from packing. Im sorry. I forgive you. And you forgive me, right?
JOEY: S-so are we friends?
PHEEBS: friends. [They hug]
JOEY: Ok so....lets get packin baby!
PHEEBS: Yay for Dino-Town! [They high-five and start helping each other pack.]
[We hear Courtney Cox saying previously on Friends We see scenes from the last episode: Ross winning the contest, Chandler singing and dancing, Phoebe and Joey fighting, Joshua hugging Rachel, and Phoebe and Joey giving each other high-fives.]
SCENE 1: [Monica and Rachels apartment, 4am. Monica is still awake. She sneaks over to Joey and Chandlers apartment to pack their bags for them.]
MONICA: [tiptoes to Chandler and Joeys bedroom. The Duck quacks loudly.] SHHH!!! [opens the door and sees Chandler and Joey sleeping together, using their bags as pillows. She slides Chandlers bag out from under his head. He starts to wake up.]
CHANDLER: ..Wha..what..? ..Monica?
MONICA: [whispers] Shhh. Its ok. go back to sleep.
CHANDLER: [Does so, his mouth hanging open and snoring.] [Monica starts to pack Chandlers bag then notices her own on the bed, already packed. She finds a note that reads: Hi Mon! We knew youd be too busy packing everyone else's bags to do your own, so we finished for you. Love, Chandler and Joey.
[Monica kisses them both on the head. Joey smiles.]
SCENE 2: [The airport, 5:30 am. Everyone is waiting for the plane, feeling different emotions.] [their thoughts are in italics.]
ROSS: Oh wow! This is so exciting! If I find any fossils, Ill be so rich! [Ross drifts into a fantasy about being rich. We see him giving a tour of his big mansion".]
ROSS: And to the left we have..My prized Volosoraptor skeleton! [We see a kid climbing up it]..Hey! Hey you! No climbing No climbing! No..no..Nooo!!! [The skeleton clatters into pieces]
ROSS: [Coming out of his fantasy, Rosss last words echo.] Nooooo!!!
JOEY: No what, Ross?
ROSS: [trying to cover up what he just said] No! No, uh, I dont have any Chapstick on me.
JOEY: Huh? [gives Ross a wired look.]
CHANDLER: Once I get enough money from discovering the fossils, Ill buy Monica the biggest, best present ever! [We see Chandlers fantasy, giving Monica her present.]
CHANDLER: Close your eyes. No peeking!
[We see a huge wedding ring.]
MONICA: [gasps] Oh Chandler! Its..its..beautiful!
CHANDLER: [climbs up to the top of it and kneels on one knee. Editors note: Im getting a day ja vous here..] Monica, will..will you marry me?
CHANDLER: [Coming out of his fantasy] Yes? Oh this is great! Well spend the rest of our lives together!!! [His last words echo]
MONICA: Did you say something Chandler?
CHANDLER: [walks over and kisses her.]
MONICA: [surprised] Well..I love you too!
JOEY: Once I discover those fossils and get that money, I can beach party with the Baywatch Girls! [We see Joeys fantasy, on the beach with the Baywatch girls at night.]
JOEY: Heyyy..How you doin?
BAY GIRL: [giggles] Fine.
JOEY: So..wanna dance?
BAY GIRL: Ok. [I Believe I Can Fly starts to play. Joey and the Bay Girl put their arms around each other and dance.]
COAST GUARD: [On radio] This is 303. Code 911 at Trevy Cove. Over.
BAY GIRL: [On radio] This is 304. Ill be there Code ASAP. Over and out. [To Joey] Im sorry, but its an emergency. Ill have to go. Goodbye, Joey.
JOEY: [Coming out of his fantasy] No! Wait! Please wait! I...Dont goooo!!! [His last words echo]
RACHEL: Dont go where, Joey?
JOEY: Th-the Baywatch Girl! She left and..and..
RACHEL: [Gives Joey a what-are-you-talking-about??? look] Men..Go figure.
RACHEL: Once I have those fossils, Ill be the Fossil Queen and live in a castle made of fossils with Ross as the King!
[We see Rachels fantasy, a huge castle of fossils with Rachel and Ross standing on the roof.]
RACHEL: And hence fourth,all women named Rachel will be the Queens of their countries!
[The crowd below cheers] Do you have any other rules, King Ross?
ROSS: Yes. From this day forth, No one will be clean. Everything will be dirty!!!
ROSS: Hey you there! What do you want? [We see a very upset Monica in ragged, torn, dirty beggars clothes]
MONICA: Oh please! Please King Ross! I have to wear clean clothes! The flies are swarming around me! Ive never been so dirty! Please! [sobs]
ROSS: Nonsense! Guards, take her away!
RACHEL: [coming out of her fantasy] Ross, you cant do this! Shes your sister and my best friend! You cant do this!
ROSS: To the dungeon!
RACH+MON: NOOOOOOO!!!!!!! [their last words echo]
RACHEL: Monica! I just had the worst nightmare! I-I dreamt you were..and Ross and I were King and Queen.. and-and he...he..
MONICA: I know! I know! I had it too!
RACHEL: Lets just be thankful were both alive! [Monica and Rachel walk up to Ross and smack him hard on the head]
ROSS: Oww!! What did you do that for???
ANNOUNCER: Plane 75 now boarding on gate 5.
PHEEBS: Hey! Thats us! Thats us!
MONICA: Ok! Does everyone have everything?
[everyone checks their luggage]
MONICA: Then lets go! [Everyone starts onto the plane]
JOEY: Wait! I forgot something!
JOEY: I have to go
MONICA: Theres no time! Cmon!
ANNOUNCER: The plane will take off in 5..
JOEY: But I really have to...
[Joey looks forlornly at the plane, which has now taken off without him.]
JOEY: [falls to his knees] Nooooo!!!!!!
[We hear David Shwimmer saying previously on Friends We see scenes from the last episode: clips of every ones fantasies, The announcer saying last call, everyone screaming Joeys name, Joey screaming Noooooo!!!]
SCENE 1: [The airport. Joey is frantically looking for help.]
JOEY: [runs up to flight attendant] excuse me, Ya hi. Me and my friends had a flight to Bridal Falls. Can you-
ATTENDANT: I dont see anyone behind you.
JOEY: Well, see, thats the thing. I sorta got left behind and I was wondering if you could track down their plane or get me another flight.
ATTENDANT: The next plane isnt until tomorrow, 12:00 am. Now go away.
JOEY: But theres gotta be something sooner! Please! There has to be!
ATTENDANT: [angrily] Well, there isnt. Its tomorrow or nothing.
JOEY: Ok ok. Ill take it! [Phone rings]
ATTENDANT: [picks up the phone and motions angrily for him to go away.]
JOEY: [sighs, and sinks into a chair to wait.]
SCENE 2: [The plane. Everyone is worrying about Joey.]
MONICA: I told him there was no time! I told him to hurry up, but did he listen? No!
CHANDLER: Well, when you gotta go, you gotta go...but still..
RACHEL: You think hell be ok?
PHEEBS: Oh sure! He wont have long to wait. The next plane is...[looks in her bag, takes out a flight schedule] Uh...12:00 am.. ..tomorrow.
CHANDLER: Oh that is so not good.
RACHEL: Isnt there anything sooner?
PHEEBS: Ooh ooh yes! ..nothing.
RACHEL: Pheebs, thats not soon.
PHEEBS: Well, nothings closer to something! ..Or is it..?
MONICA: Well, I brought my phone, so maybe hell call. Its in my bag though. Can you get it Chandler?
CHANDLER: [We see a huge mass of bags bulging out of the compartment. Chandler tries to lift one and is straining with the weight.] Yeesh Mon! What else you got in here? a swimming pool???
MONICA: [snaps] You and Joey packed mine, remember?
CHANDLER: Oh...ya. I forgot. You dont have to get so mad you know. [backs away from Monica as if he expects her to explode any second]
MONICA: Was..was I snapping at you?
MONICA: Oh, Im sorry. I guess Im just a little nervous about this whole fossil thing.
CHANDLER: What do you mean?
MONICA: Well, at Dino-Town, those cliffs are so high up and the ledges are so narrow! I-if anybody fell... ...I dont know what Id...
CHANDLER: Mon, is it me you're worried about?
MONICA: ..Yes..if anything happened to you..if you got hurt...I.. [sniffs]
CHANDLER: [hugs her] Shh..its ok..I wont get hurt. Ill be extra careful.
MONICA: Good. because...I love you.
CHANDLER: I love you too, Monica.
MONICA: Wh-what are you crying for?
PHEEBS: Joey usually cries at moments like this, so I figured I should do it for him.
ROSS: Y-ya...c-come to think of it... [they all start to cry a little]
SCENE 3: [The airport, 11:30 at night. Joey is lying on the row of chairs, trying to sleep.]
JOEY: [makes grumbling noises as he tries to get comfortable After several unsuccessful attempts, He falls onto the floor.]
JOEY: Owww! [sighs] Its no use. I cant sleep. [pulls himself to an upright position and sits on the floor.] Wonder if the other guys are worrying about me? I miss the Duck and the Chick too. Hey...I know! [spots a phone on the flight attendants desk] Ill call everybody! [tiptoes behind the desk. The attendant is sleeping in a chair with the phone to her ear and the cord tangled around her. Being very quiet and careful, Joey manages to untangle the cord.]
ATTENDANT: [mutters] I wanna fly the plane, Mommy!
JOEY: [freezes, then breaths a sigh of relief and starts to dial his phone number. He hears the answering machine] Hi. Youve reached Chandler and Joeys apartment. Were not here right now, so leave- Get off, you stupid Duck! leave a message after the- Argh! What are you doing??? Get out of the VCR! after the beep and well get back-No! Not my Baywatch tape! Quit pulling the film out! You're gonna-Well get back to you as soon as we can.
JOEY: Hey Duck! Chick! Are you guys there? Pick up! Its Joey! [split-screen. The Duck and Chick waddle up to the phone, wich is on speaker, and start quaking and peeping loudly.]
JOEY: Guys! Guys! One at a time, ok? [The Duck and Chick take turns talking to Joey.]
JOEY: Really? Youre going out with some hot chick next door?? Whats she look like? Yasmine from Baywatch??? Oh man! I wish I was there! What? You miss me? I miss you too guys! Chandler does too. Well anyway, I better go, Its late. See ya soon! [The Duck and Chick say goodbye and Joey dials Monicas cell phone number. split screen, Monicas phone rings and she wakes up.]
MONICA: [sleepily] Wh-what..hello?
JOEY: Mon! Hey, its Joey!
MONICA: [Instantly snaps awake] Joey??? Oh my god! Where the heck are you??? Oh ya you're at the airport! Are you ok? [To the group] guys! wake up! Its Joey!
ALL: [Waking up] ..Huh..wha..Joey?!..Is he ok?
JOEY: Im fine... Im sorry if I woke you guys up..I just got kinda lonely in this dark airport...
MONICA: No..no its ok. Wanna say hello to everybody? My cell has speaker phone.
JOEY: [excited] Ok!
MONICA: [To the group] Hes fine, but he wants to talk to you. I put it on speaker phone.
ALL: Hey Joey!
CHANDLER: [yawns] Hey Joe. Whats up?
JOEY: ..Well, I couldnt sleep..I got a little lonely, so I decided to call the Duck and the Chick!
CHANDLER: You called them?
JOEY: Ya! There was a weird message on the machine though. Sounded like you fighting with the Duck and the Chick.
CHANDLER: Oh..ya...that was when we first got them. ..forgot to erase that.
PHEEBS: So what did they say? [everyone looks at her weird]
PHEEBS: What? I just asked...
CHANDLER: ..Oh never mind. Continue Joey.
JOEY: ..The Chicks datin the next door neighbours chick, Yasmine!
CHANDLER: Yasmine?? The named after Baywatch star, Yasmine???
JOEY: [sarcastically] No, the dog. Yes the Baywatch star! Sheeze! How many Yasmines do you know??
CHANDLER: Did they say anything else?
JOEY: Well, they said..they miss us. But theyll be ok. I put a chick flick in the VCR before we left. They can watch it over and over. I taught the Duck how to press the rewind and play buttons.
RACHEL: I hate to interrupt here, but its kind of late and, If you guys talk any longer, were going to have a humungus phone bill.
CHANDLER: Are you gonna be ok with..staying alone in the airport?
JOEY: Oh ya Ill be fine! The chairs arent really that comfy..it gets a little windy and cold here at night..[getting nervous] ...Ill..Ill be fine.
MONICA: Well, bye Joey!
ALL: Bye! We miss you! See ya tomorrow! Bye!
JOEY: [hangs up the phone, sits on a chair and looks at the moon, getting a little homesick. All By Myself is playing]
SCENE 4: [7:00 am. The planes getting ready to land. Everyone is woken up by..]
ANNOUNCER: Attention passengers. We are nearing Bridal Falls. Please dont unbuckle till the plane has landed. Repeat: We are nearing Bridal Falls.
PHEEBS: Hey everyone! Wake up! The planes landing!
PHEEBS: The planes landing!
MONICA: [loudly] She said: The plane is landing!!!! Now get up!!
ALL: [Instantly awake] Oh oh ya ok were up!
MONICA: Thats better! Now grab your stuff and lets go!
RACHEL: Ross, have you seen my crossword puzzle book?
ROSS: Ya, I think Chandler has it.
RACHEL: Chandler, Can I have my Crossword book back now please?
CHANDLER: Oh sure. Here it is. [Pulls out a ragged, torn book with a stain on it.]
RACHEL: Chandler! You wrecked it!
CHANDLER: I so did not! I just spilled pizza sauce on it. But look! Its still readable! [tries to solve one of the clues] An actress, also the name of a fa- Hey! the rest is torn out! Fa..fa..fajita maybe? Another name for fajita..burrito babe! Thats it! See? Perfectly-
RACHEL: Burrito wont even fit! Oh, just gimme the darn thing! [snatches it from him]
ANNOUNCER: Attention. 5 passengers are still on the plane, which has now landed. Could they please get off immediately. Thank you.
MONICA: See? Were gonna be late! We have to be there before Dino-Town opens, so we can beat the rush! Cmon!
ALL: Ok ok! Were comin! [They grab their bags and run off the plane]
[We hear Matt Le Blanc saying: previously on Friends We see scenes from the last episode: Joey talking to the Duck and Chick, Then to his friends on the plane, Joey looking homesick, Phoebe saying the planes landing, everyone running off the plane.]
SCENE 1: [Everyone minus Joey has arrived at Dino-Town in a rental car. Ross wants the gang to meet his other friends the scientists]
PHEEBS: Ooh yay! Were here! Were here everybody! Lets go!
RACHEL: Um, Pheebs? You might wanna try parking the car first.
PHEEBS: Oh. Right. Silly me! Ok, hang on!
MONICA: But why would we need to- [The car lurches, everyone leans back, tight against their seats except Monica, who gets thrown forward]
RACHEL: Mon, remember last time? Thats why she said hang on.[Editors Note: For those of you who dont remember what last time was, go to a script web site and check out The One Without The Ski Trip]
MONICA: Oh..Ohhh! That time when we were in Pheebs cab and I..
CHANDLER: Ok! Weve parked. Now can we hurry and get out? Cuz I gotta go And if we dont hurry, we all know whats gonna happen. Dont we?
CHANDLER: [slaps his hand to his forehead cuz of her stupidity, and whispers in her ear]
PHEEBS: Ohhh! In that case, cmon! Hurry up! Lets go! Bathroom Emergency here people! Lets move it! [Everyone quickly opens their doors and gets out]
SCIENTIST 1: Hey look guys! Its Foss-Ross!
MONICA: [tries to keep from lauging, and whispers in Rosss ear.] Foss-Ross???
ROSS: [whispers] New museum nickname. [Monica giggles]
SCIENTIST 2: Hey Foss-Ross! How ya doin? Oh, and who are your little Dino-Pals there?
MONICA: [giggling] Foss-Ross? Dino-Pals? Oh this is too much!
ROSS: [to Monica] Shh! [to the scientists] These are my friends. Monica, Rachel, Pheobe, and Chandler. [Chandler is hopping on one foot at this point, he so badly needs to go.]
SCIENTIST 1: Why is that man hopping about?
PHEEBS: Bathroom needs.
SCIENTIST 1: Ohhh! Sir, the nearest washroom is up those stairs, though the hall, make a left, go up 17 more flights of stairs, and you're there.
CHANDLER: 17??? Ill never make it!!! [starts into the museum, still hopping on one foot]
PHEEBS: Good luck!
SCIENTIST 2: Now then. Where would you like to start digging? Theres the small cliff for beginners, the medium cliff for mid-experts, and the [points to an extremely high cliff] High Die cliff for experts.
MONICA: [nervously] Wh-why do you call it that?
SCIENTIST 2: Oh, just because some people have fallen and uh..never gotten up.
MONICA: Ok thats it! We are not going on that cliff! No way! If anybody [gulps] died, Id..Id just..[thinks of Chandler] ok, we are just NOT going up that one, ok? We cant. Cuz if Ch- [sees Chandler stumbling to the group, out of breath]
MONICA: [gasps] Chandler! Are you ok?
CHANDLER: [gasping for breath] sev sev..thought..never....ma-make..it!..I..I..
RACHEL: What are you trying to tell us?
CHANDLER: [getting his breath back] Seventeen flights of stairs! Thought Id never make it!! I did, but just by the skin of my teeth! Cant believe it! Never going up there again! Never!!! So, what were you guys talking about?
MONICA: Just how were NOT going up the High-Die cliff to dig. Its WAY too dangerous!
RACHEL: Relax Mon! We wont go up High-Die, ok?
[a blue, old-looking pickup truck pulls into the parking lot. the door opens and we see its..]
JOEY: Thanx for the ride Mac!
MAC: anytime! [the pickup drives away]
ALL: Joey!!!! [they run over to him]
CHANDLER: Whereve you been man? I thought your flight wasnt until midnight tonight!
JOEY: Well, ya, but the attendant wasnt helpful at all, so I called up the captain, and he got her kicked out and became the new one. He got me a sooner flight! I got here as soon as I could. Looks like I was just in time, too! [Looks around] Whoa!! That cliffs really high!
PHEEBS: Ya, Its called High-Die.
JOEY: Well, what are we waitin for? Lets start climbing!
RACHEL: But someone could fall and die! Its too dangerous!
JOEY: Oh cmon! Weve had lotsa climbing experience! Well, at least I have. Ill lead ya! Cmon!
CHANDLER: Joey, the only climbing experience youve had is climbing onto the fridge to get the Nacho chips cuz you couldnt reach!
JOEY: Well..ya ok. But someone else could lead. And if anyone wanted to go back down, Theyd just have to tug on the other persons rope. Besides, itd be a great adventure for all of us! Whos with me?
[all except Rachel and Monica raise their hands. Monica sees Chandler has his hand up]
MONICA: [whispers] Chandler! What are you doing?? You cant go up there! Are you crazy? Youll get hurt!
CHANDLER: [whispers] No I wont Mon. Remember what I said on the plane? Ill be extra careful, I promise. [crosses his heart] Dont you trust me?
MONICA: Yes! Of course I do! In..in fact..Ill..Ill go up with you.
CHANDLER: Really? Are you sure? I thought you were afraid of heights!
MONICA: Not anymore. Im with you.
CHANDLER: And Im with you. [they hug]
MONICA: Now lets go conquer that cliff and find some fossils!
SCENE 2: [The middle of the High Die. Everyone is attached to one long rope with harnesses around their bodies. Ross is leading the group. Phoebe is next, Joey is behind her, Rachel behind him, Then Monica, and Chandler at the bottom.]
ROSS: Ok everyone! This looks like the perfect spot. Take out your picks and start digging!
[Chandler takes out his pick, swings it back, almost hitting Monica on the head, but she ducks.]
MONICA: Watch it!
CHANDLER: Sorry! I just like to take giant swings and then pound. That way Ill find a fossil quicker.
MONICA: You mean well find a fossil quicker! Ill help, so you wont hit anyone else on the head. Its better to take small swings and pound. Like this. [demonstrates.]
CHANDLER: Oh ok! [They both start pounding at the rock. Phoebe and Joey are watching them do this]
JOEY: Whoa. Look at them! Theyre sure to find fossils that way! Lets try it.
PHEEBS: Ok! [They start pounding.]
CHANDLER: Monica, doesnt this cliff remind you of something?
MONICA: No, does it remind you of something?
CHANDLER: Ya..it does..[Chandler starts swinging his pick back and fourth, like a railroad worker and sings Ive Been Workin On The Railroad. Monica giggles and joins in.]
MON+CHAN: Weve been workin on the railroad, all the live long day! Oh weve been workin on the railroad
PHEEBS: [joining in] just to pass the time away!
JOEY: [joining in] cant you hear the whistle blowin?
RACHEL: [joining in] rise up so early in the morn,
ROSS: [joining in] cant you hear the captain shouting, everybody!
ALL: Dinah blow your horn!!!
CHAN+MON: Someones in the kitchen with Dinah, someones in the kitchen we know oh oh oh oh, someones in the kitchen with Dinaaaaaaaaa..strummin on the old banjo and singin everybody!
ALL: Fee-fi-fiddly-I-oh-fee-fi-fiddly-I-oh-oh-oh-oh, fee-fi-fiddly-I-ohhhhhhhhhhh...
MON+CHAN: Strummin on the old banjo!!! [everyone starts to giggle and laugh]
CHANDLER: That was so funny! Im glad I started that!
MONICA: Me too. [they kiss]
JOEY: [excited] Hey! Hey Ross! Guys! I think Pheobe and I found a fossil! Cmere!
ROSS: Ok, everyone move aside! [He moves over to the fossil and starts dusting it with a thick brush] Argh, theres some sticky dirt covering it! If I can get it off, Ill know if its a fossil. Monica, start handing me stuff. Rubbing cloth! [Monica hands it to him. Ross vigorously scrubs the rock.] Dental pick! [Monica gives it to him. Ross scrapes the rock. Bit by bit, it starts to come off.]
ROSS: [excitedly] Its coming off!!! Its coming..its coming..and its....A FOSSILIZED TRICERATOPS FOOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WE HAVE A FOSSIL!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ALL: YES!!! YA! ALRIGHT!!!!!! [They all hug and hop up and down. After a few minutes, they start to calm down.]
JOEY: WERE ALL GONNA BE MILLIONAIRES!!!!!!!!!!! [everyone starts hugging, screaming and jumping again]
ROSS: Ok ok, everyone just calm down. We just need to wrap it in soft cloth, then take it to the scientists. Monica, thick soft cloth. [Monica hands it to him. her hand is shaking with excitement] Thank you. Now, we start climbing down. [Chandler lowers himself down till hes standing on a thin, narrow ledge. Everyone else lowers themselves. Monica has almost reached the ledge. Chandlers harness is very loose. He hasnt yet noticed....]
MONICA: Chandler, move down so we can!
CHANDLER: Ok ok! [Chandler moves his feet down to another narrow ledge....]
ROSS: Watch out! That ledge is really loose. You dont want to-
CHANDLER: [panicked] Whoa! Whoa! Im slipping!! My harness is really loose!! I-I cant-Ahhhhhhhh!!!! [Chandler falls down, but catches himself on another ledge]
MONICA: Chandler!!!!! [Monica undoes her harness, closes her eyes, and jumps to the ledge where Chandler is hanging for dear life]
MONICA: Are you ok?? Here, Ill help you.
CHANDLER: [pained] Ok, but could you get off my fingers first?
MONICA: Oh sorry! Guys, I could use some help here! [Everyone lowers themselves to Monica]
MONICA: Ok. [grabs both of Chandlers hands] Grab everyone around the waist. [They do so] Ok. Now when I say pull, pull! Got it? [They nod] On 3. Ready? 1..2..3 PULL!!!
ALL: Heave..HO! ..Heave..HO! Heave..HO! [They keep going till theyre at the top. Ross stands on the very top and the others follow.]
CHANDLER: Well, that certainly was close.
MONICA: Close??? That was near-death!!!
CHANDLER: At least Im ok now.
MONICA: Yes, yes you are.
CHANDLER: Thanx for saving me. I-I mean, if you hadnt been there to help me, I would of been a goner for sure! I cant believe you jumped from that high to save me!
MONICA: Well, it was tough, but I knew I couldnt lose my best friend, so I just..did what I had to do.
CHANDLER: Thanx. [They hug. Everyone is standing behind them, watching.]
[Chandler doesnt realize hes standing on the very edge...]
CHANDLER: Well, I guess we can start- whoa! Whoa!! Help! [He wobbles] Im-Im gonna fall!! I-AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
[Chandler falls off. Its a long way down...!!!]
MONICA: CHANDLER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
[TO BE CONTINUED....wait till next Monday. Time lapse. You turn on the TV...]
[We hear Matthew Perry saying previously on Friends. We see scenes from the last episode: Scientists telling them about High-Die, Joey arriving, Monica and Chandler singing, Pheebs and Joey finding the fossil, Monica pulling Chandler back up, Chandler falling again, Monica screaming NOOOOOO!!!!!]
SCENE 1: [continued from last time]
MONICA: Oh my god!!! Chandler!!!!!! [We hear a thump, a yell of pain, and a groan..then......silence.]
MONICA: Weve got to get down there!!! He may be dead!!! [She starts going down as fast as possible, the others close behind. Soon theyre almost at the bottom. Monica jumps the last two ledges, and kneels down beside Chandler.]
MONICA: Chandler! Can you hear me? Are you ok? Say something!! [He faintly opens his eyes, groans softly, then closes them. He doesnt move.]
MONICA: Phoebe, call 911! Ross, go tell the scientists! Joey, go with Ross! Now! Ill stay with Chandler! Hurry!!! [Monica takes off her jacket and wraps it around him. He has a bleeding wound on his forehead. She opens her bag, takes out a first-aid kit and finds a thick, damp cloth and presses it firmly on the wound to stop the bleeding. She keeps doing this,saying...]
MONICA: [On the verge of tears] Please Chandler..Please be ok...you have to make it..for me..please..you..you just have to..
SCENE 2: [The hospital. Everyone is waiting. Monica is pacing anxiously]
MONICA: Its..its been 2 hours now..you think hes ok? I mean, he-he fell from like, a thousand feet.
RACHEL: Mon, hell be ok.
MONICA: But..but what if he isnt? What if he is really..d-dead? Oh, I couldnt stand it! If only I had some kind of sign or signal that he was ok.[she starts to break down]..he has t-to be ok..hes my..b-best ..b-best..[Monica chokes out the last word: friend and Rachel hugs her.]
RACHEL: Shhh..I know..I..know..Its ok..Hell be ok.
JOEY: [Looks over and sees Monica crying] Boy, shes sure not taking it too well..
ROSS: [sarcastically] You think?! [He sighs and sinks lower in his chair. Joey looks sad and turns his chair away from Ross. He starts to think about all the good times he and Chandler had together. As we see these moments, Thanks for Makin me smile Best Of Friends and Youll Be In My Heart play one at a time. The scenes are: Chandler, Joey, the Duck and Chick watching Baywatch, Joey and Chandler giving the Duck a bath and lauging, Joey and Chandler playing Foose ball, playing catch with the ball, riding on the big white dog on wheels, sitting in the canoe, Joey with the turkey on his head and trying to scare Chandler, Joey and Chandler building a fort with boxes. As Youll Be In My Heart ends, we see various scenes of them hugging. Joey takes out a Kleenex and wipes his eyes.]
JOEY: [thinks] Please, buddy youve gotta make it..
PHEEBS: [makes up a song in her head to the tune of Smelly Cat] Chandler, Oh Chandler, Monica misses you..Chandler, oh Chandler, its not your fault! Chandler, please come back, were all very sad, its not your fault! [She sniffs. Amazing Grace starts playing. The camera pans so we can see individual shots of everyone: Rachel still hugging the crying Monica, the forlorn Joey, Ross, and Pheobe looking up at the ceiling, praying.The camera stays on everyone, Amazing Grace still plays.
SCENE 3: [Time lapse. Monica has recovered somewhat and is pacing faster, Joey is still praying, Phoebe and Ross are just sitting there, thinking quietly about Chandler when...]
NURSE: excuse me, which one of you is Monica Geller?
MONICA: [snaps to attention] I am! Is he ok? Is-is he living?
NURSE: Yes hes fine.
[ At these words, everyone is overjoyed, jumping up and down and hugging each other. Joey and Monica are almost in tears theyre so happy]
JOEY: Yes!!!!! I knew hed make it!!!
MONICA: [happily shocked] Hes ok, hes not dead. ...Hes ok hes not dead!!!!! Oh yes!!!!!!
NURSE: Hes still very tired, But you can come in two at a time. Monica and Joey. He asked to see you two first. [Monica and Joey look at each other, smile, and hug again, realizing that they are his two best friends]
NURSE: Mr. Bing, I think you have some visitors... [the Nurse moves away, revealing Joey in the doorway, smiling. He walks over to him.]
CHANDLER: [weakly] Joey?
JOEY: Thats right. Im here buddy. [Chandler puts his arm up and they both shake hands, since Chandlers too weak to hug] And now....[Joey moves away, revealing Monica. Amazing Grace plays quietly in the background while theyre talking]
MONICA: Hi Chandler. How are you feeling?
CHANDLER: Tired, but very happy. [Monica smiles at this, and leans down to kiss him. Chandler tries to hug her, but winces in pain]
MONICA: Shh..Lie down..you need your rest. [As Monica pulls away, we see tears in Chandlers eyes.]
MONICA: [She has tears in her eyes too] You-you know Chandler..I-I didnt know if you would make it, but you did...I didnt know if I would make it! If you..had.. [tries to say the word died but cant]..Id never have been able to live without you..I..I love you, Chandler. [the audience awwwws and claps] [Joey is now crying]
CHANDLER: I love you too Monica. [ still both crying, they hug]
JOEY: [sniffs] ..Thats..thats so beautiful!
NURSE: The next visitors want to see you, but only two at a time. Joey, youll have to leave now. Monica is the only exception.
JOEY: Ok then. Bye Chandler!
CHANDLER: Bye Joe. [Joey exits, then peeks around the corner and gives Chandler a thumbs up. Chandler smiles and does the same thing.]
[Ross and Rachel enter.]
CHANDLER: Hey Ross, Rachel.
ROSS+RACH: Hey Chandler!
ROSS: I was prayin for you man.
CHANDLER: Praying..what for..I mean..Ohh! Aw Ross, you didnt have to..
ROSS: I know, but I wanted to. Monica and Joey did too.
CHANDLER: You guys... youre the best friends anyone could ever ask for.
ROSS+RACH+MON: We know. [they smile secretly, as if theyve planned something...]
PHEEBS: And thats why...
[Monica exits, then comes back with Joey, both pushing a huge wagon with about 20 fossils in it!]
ALL: We made a special get well present for you! Get well soon Chandler!!! [everyone throws streamers in the air]
CHANDLER: I..I cant believe it! I thought Pheebs and Joey were the only ones who found-
ROSS: Nope! When Monica and Joey were in here talking to you, Phoebe and I climbed back up..and found more fossils!
CHANDLER: Oh wow! This is the best! Thanx you guys!
RACHEL: You're welcome! and if you can come with us, theres more!
[Monica whispers something to the Nurse]
NURSE: Well..I dont know if hes strong enough yet but..
NURSE: Well...ok, if hes in a wheelchair.
CHANDLER: what? [suspiciously] Whatve you guys planned? Cmon, spill it!
MONICA: Youll see. Get in the wheelchair, Joey and Ill push you. Cmon hurry up!
CHANDLER: Ok ok! Hold your fossils! [He carefully gets into the wheelchair]
MONICA: All right lets go! This way everyone! [She and Joey push really fast, wanting to get there ASAP]
NURSE: Remember, this a hospital!
MONICA: Ok sorry! Well be careful! [They push him out of the hospital, the back entrance to Dino-Town, through another hallway and into a room with fossils in glass display cases. The scientists are standing there.]
SCIENTIST 1: To you Mr. Bing, yours friends and us here at Dino-Town dedicate this fossil as a symbol of your bravery. [He opens the display case and takes out a fossil in a glass case with a gold plaque on it.]
JOEY: Read it! Cmon read it!
CHANDLER: [Reading] ..To Chandler Bing. You are the bravest member of our rock climbing crew. Also our greatest friend. Love, Monica, Joey, Ross, Rachel, and Phoebe. [Chandler just sits there, looking at the fossil, speechless, Then turns to his friends]
CHANDLER: I..I dont know what to say! You guys are..You-you guys...
JOEY: We know. You're welcome.
CHANDLER: Aw, I could just..[sniffs.They all go over to him and hug him]
CHANDLER: Umm..yknow..I was kind of thinking that we should head back home, cuz the Duck and Chick have probably gone all over the apartment by now.
PHEEBS: Ya, and Central Perk is probably wondering what happened to Smelly Cat..what did happen to him anyway... ?
MONICA: I feel like going home too..the doctor said you could if you were feeling ok.
CHANDLER: Right now, I feel like a million bucks! Lets go home!
ALL: Ya! Whoo-hoo!!!
SCENE 4: [The airport, next morning. Everyones getting ready to leave]
MONICA: Ok, got everything?
MONICA: Ok then. And NO bathroom stops this time Joey.
ANNOUNCER: Flight 27 now boarding on Gate 9. Repeat: Flight 27 now boarding on Gate 9.
MONICA: Thats us, so lets go! [She pushes Chandler, whos still in a wheelchair, up the ramp to the plane]
JOEY: Oops! I forgot something!
MONICA: [sighs] What is it this time, Joey?
JOEY: its- oh its ok, Ive got it.
ANNOUNCER: The plane will now take off. [the plane starts moving]
MONICA: [softly] Bye Dino-Town. Thanx for giving us your fossils. ..And for giving Chandlers life back. [even more softly] I would never be able to live without him.
CHANDLER: Just so you know, I heard that last part.
MONICA: Well, you weren't supposed to!
CHANDLER: Its ok. You know something? Id never be able to live without you either. Cuz, I mean, after Janice..and even Kathy..you came along, and my life got so much better! If you went away, my life would get worse again. I dont want that. You're like, the greatest person Ive met.
MONICA: Thats so sweet. [kisses him]
JOEY: [Whos been eavesdropping] What about me? Im your best friend too, right?
CHANDLER: [laughs] Of course you are, Joey! Without you, I wouldnt have anybody to play Fooseball or watch Baywatch with! Well, except for the Duck and Chick, but their not really...
JOEY: [finishing the sentence]...a real friend..aw thanx man.
MONICA: Chandler..Im sorry our trip had to end like this..you know...with..
CHANDLER: Ya, me too. But yknow what?
CHANDLER: When I wasnt hurt, I was having so much fun with you! I mean, that railroad thing..and..even when I was hurt, you took care of me, made sure I got to the hospital right away, and prayed for me. You kept me alive! You protected me. Thanx.
MONICA: You're welcome.
PHEEBS: Hey everyone! Lets sing 99 Bottles Of Pop!
MONICA: Pheebs, Im not sure Chandler wants to hear-
CHANDLER: No, its ok Mon. Im feeling 99% better! [chuckles at his joke]
MONICA: Well, in that case...
ALL: 99 bottles of pop on the wall, 99 bottles of pop,
PHEEBS: Take one down, Chandler will fall- [everyone glares] oops! I mean- dance around, 98 bottles on the wall! [They continue, each saying a different thing. Rachel has accidentally spilled her drink in Rosss lap]
RACHEL:..Take one down, Ross will frown, 97 bottles on the wall!
JOEY:..Take one down, Im a clown, 96 bottles on the wall!
ROSS:..Take one down, Rachel-youre-so-dead! 95 bottles on the wall!
MON+CHAN:..Take one down, say goodbye to Dino-Town, 94 bottles on the wall! [Time lapse. Everyone is down to one bottle and sounding quite tired.The plane is almost ready to land, Chandler is asleep on Monicas shoulder]
MONICA: [slowly]..Take..one..down, were home in town, 0 bottles on the wall.
PHEEBS: Ooh yay! We landed!
MONICA: [softly] Chandler..wake up..we landed..Chandler? [shouting] CHANDLER!!!!!
CHANDLER: [waking up] ..Wha..huh..we landed?
MONICA: Yes!! Cmon!
CHANDLER: Hey, Im still weak. You have to push me, remember? Hurry up!
MONICA: [laughs] I think someones feeling better!
[Monica and Rachels apartment. Chandler and Monica enter]
MONICA: Wasnt our trip great?
CHANDLER: Well, except for the hospital part, it was a blast! I had so much fun with you!
MONICA: Im glad you enjoyed it. I wonder where you should put your special fossil?
CHANDLER: I think on the shelf in my bedroom, so the duck cant get at it. Cuz that is one special fossil! [smiles]
MONICA: Thats a good place.
JOEY: Hey Chandler! Cmere!
CHANDLER: Coming Joey! Whats up?
JOEY: Look at the Chick and the Duck! [We hear Backstreets Back playing, we see a disco ball hanging from the ceiling, Baywatch playing on the TV. the Duck and Chick are dancing!]
CHANDLER: Huh. I guess they didnt miss us after all!
Well everyone, hope you liked my fanfic! Hopefully Ill write more in the future! And again, please send any comments to: firstname.lastname@example.org