Written By: Crystal
OK. This is the first Fanfic Ive ever written, so Im sorry if its not very good or believable. Ive read a lot of fanfics so I dont know what comes from where or whether what I think is my idea really is. I dont mean to steal ideas, if something is similar its by accident. It was written when the last episode Id seen was The one where theyre up all night. Oh, and Rachel has long hair (permed like she did in The one with the Nap Partners) because I prefer it down. Sorry if its a bit late. I would appreciate some feedback because I want to know whether to carry on. Thanks.
Disclaimer: None of the characters belong to me. The all belong to Crane, Kaufman and Bright Productions and Warner Bros. This Fanfic was not meant for profit, just entertainment.
SET: ABOUT FIVE WEEKS SINCE THE LAST EPISODE:
(all, except Joey and Monica, in normal positions)
(Enter Joey, with an Ive got really exciting news look on his face)
JOEY: Hey guys, what are you all doing tonight? (smiles)
ROSS & RACH(EL): Nothing.
PHOE(BE): Absolutely Nothing.
CHAN(DLER): Monica and me have got reservations at the Plaza. Why?
CHAN: Why? Whatve you got planned?
JOEY: Well, it was gonna be a really big surprise that I wanted you all to see, but if this is more important then well .. (he trails off)
CHAN: Then what? Sorry Joe but weve had these reservations for weeks; you know how hard it is to get a table there.
JOEY: Oh, well I suppose Ill show you and Monica tomorrow, you are free then right?
CHAN: I am, I dont know about Monica.
RACH: Joey, what do you want us to see?
JOEY: Thats the surprise about it. But Ill tell you something.
JOEY: Well Ross, you know that new play thats opening in the Lucida Lortel Theatre that you really wanted to see?
ROSS: Yeah, but the tickets there are really expensive.
JOEY: Yeah, it was the play that Playboy suggested as the best play of all time! And well guess what? I got us 6 tickets to see it!
PHOE: Oh WOW! Cool, thanks Joey.
CHAN: Playboy do plays?
JOEY: Yeah, when was the last time you read it?
CHAN: Since Monica banned me four months ago.
JOEY: Ah. Sorry man.
RACH: Hey Joey, how could you afford it?
JOEY: Well, Ive been working on a surprising amount of things lately, its the most work Ive had in well EVER!
CHAN: Wow Joe, I wish Id known you were gonna do that, youve wasted all that money on my ticket. I pay you back for it if you want.
JOEY: Nah, its ok. (Thinks about it) No you said you would, you cant take that back! You have to pay me now!
CHAN: Joe, its not like I wasnt going to take it back.
JOEY: Good, coz thats like 70 bucks you owe me!
CHAN: Now you guys are gonna see it and Im not, your gonna brag now arent you.
ROSS: You can pretty much count on it.
JOEY: No dont worry, I reserved 3 seats for tomorrow just incase any of you guys couldnt make it.
PHOE: Where did you get all that money?
JOEY: No, I just reserved them, I have to pay before the show starts tonight if I want to keep the tomorrow ones, but hey Ill go with you and Monica tomorrow Chandler, as there are three seats.
CHAN: Joey, why would you want to see it twice in a row, I didnt think that youd even like to see this play, its not the sort of thing you like.
JOEY: Well, maybe Ive changed. Anyways Im going tomorrow and theres nothing you can do about it.
CHAN: OK but Im paying and theres nothing you can do about it.
JOEY: No chandler, its ok, Ive got it.
CHAN: Joey, if youve got money you should keep it, youve already paid for these guys, Ill deal with it.
JOEY: No Chandler, you wont, you guys are always taking everyone out everywhere and I dont want to seem like the cheap guy who comes in second always hitching a ride. Its my turn so let me, OK.
CHAN: Sorry Joe, I didnt know you felt that way, I was just trying to help you out, its really expensive and your not made of money.
JOEY: Yeah, I know. But I wish you wouldnt, Im not charity.
(JOEY exits looking a bit mad.)
RACH: Whats with him? Hes not normally quite so bad, Id have thought hed let you pay.
CHAN: Yeah, I know. Weird.
PHOE: Yeah, well, if you mess with my Joey hell get mad.
ROSS: Your Joey? Since when was he your Joey?
(PHOEBE looks away than gets up and walks out.)
RACH: Weird. Urgh.
ROSS: Are you ok?
RACH: Yeah, I just feel a bit sick, thats all.
ROSS: Oh, OK.
(Scene: Monica & Chandlers. MONICA, CHANDLER & RACHEL are there.)
MONI: So Rach, Joey actually bought the tickets for us as a surprise, thats weird, hes never usually getting us such expensive stuff. Now I feel bad cause Im not going.
CHAN: Dont worry, were paying for tonights seats and hes got us ones for tomorrow.
(Monicas eyes widen.)
MONI: Were paying? Thats quite a bit of money and we didnt ask him to do that.
CHAN: Yeah, but we have more money anyway and we cant just make him pay because we couldnt come.
MONI: Hmmmm, well I suppose. But I dont have to pay because youre taking Tag right Rach?
RACH: Nah. Im going off him. Weve been going out for 6 weeks and we still havent made it to the bedroom, if you know what I mean. Plus hes getting really selfish and full of himself. Also, he is 6 years younger than me, where is this going to go?
MONI: So youre gonna break up with him?
CHAN: Sorry it didnt work out Rach.
RACH: No, dont be. I think a part of me didnt want it to work out. Wow, that sounded really intense didnt it? I dont know whats wrong with me, but recently Ive been having back aches and stomach aches, and I think Im getting a fever. May be I should go lay down.
(Monica puts a hand to Rachels forehead to test the temperature)
MONI: You do feel a little hot. Do you want to use our spare room to have a quiet rest to get your strength up for tonight?
RACH: Yeah, thanks Mon.
CHAN: Who says itll be quiet?
MONI: I was just about to go shopping and you were going to come with me because you always complain about what I get.
CHAN: Do I have to?
(Scene: Theatre. JOEY, RACHEL, ROSS & PHOEBE are seated in a row in the audience, its packed and there are two empty seats beside them. RACHEL is by the aisle, next to PHEOBE whos next to ROSS, and JOEY is next to the two empty seats, which are next to the aisle. It looks as if the play will start in a couple of minutes.)
ROSS: (to Rachel) Are you feeling better?
RACH: Yeah a bit. But I cant eat cause I think Ill puke.
PHOE: SSSSHHHH, its gonna start soon!
ROSS: Yeah, the film weekly said it was the best play on in the tri-state area.
JOEY: Dude, I cant believe you read that thing. You know its in playboy as well right?
(ROSS looks at JOEY strongly)
JOEY: All right, look I really have to pee.
RACH: Joey, the plays about to start, you can wait till intermission, and it takes to long to get there plus youll never find your way.
JOEY: Rach I used to work here you know? Ill be fine. (To ROSS) Its not really gonna start soon is it?
JOEY: OH NO! THEYRE GONNA KILL ME!
(He runs off going oh no oh no oh no)
ROSS: Whos gonna kill him?
PHOE: Probably the little Generals army. (Giggles slightly)
ROSS: Are you sure? I think somethings up.
RACH: Ross, dont worry about it, ok? Phoebes right, he probably just really needs to pee.
ROSS: Ok, but hell never make it in time; I just heard the one-minute bell. Hes going to be annoyed that he missed the best play of the century.
RACH: Ross, I dont think its going to be that good.
(They sit in silence for about one minute, each looking a bit anxious about JOEY.)
PHOE: Oh no! Its starting and Joey not here! What do we do?
ROSS: Just sit back and enjoy it. Hell come back soon. If he misses the beginning then its his fault!
PHOE: I wont let him! I need to go get him.
(She stands up)
RACH: No Phoebe. Then youll miss it!
(Pushes Phoebe down)
(Phoebe makes a little groan, but stays.)
(A few scenes (of the play) later and Joey isnt back. ROSS and RACHEL are looking rather peaceful enjoying the film, but PHOEBE is fidgeting and worried.)
PHOE: WHERE IS HE!!!!
(SHHHs come from the audience.)
ROSS: (Shocked) There he is!! (Pointing to the stage)
PHOE & RACH: What, where?
ROSS: On the stage! Whats he doing there?
PHOE: Oh No! He got lost and stumbled on to the stage by accident, oh Joey, Joey .
RACH: No, I think hes in the play. Oh my god. Thats he could pay for the tickets, he got them cheap!
PHOE: How do you know hes actually in the play?
ROSS: Phoebe, hes saying the lines, and they sound like theyd be right.
RACH: Yeah, plus hes smiling at us and pointing to himself.
PHOE: Wow, he does look smug!
JOEY: Sir, there is a young man to see you, shall I let him in?
ACTO(R): Yes Jeeves, do.
(Joey walks off to the wings, as he does so he waves slightly at RACH and co.)
RACH: And he got a fairly major part in the play doing that?
ROSS: Yeah, film weekly said the butler was, like the fifth main character, way to go Joey, this is a big play!
RACH: You know guys; suddenly I dont feel so good.
PHOE: Oh no. How bad do you feel?
RACH: Well (takes in a sharp deep breath) I feel (another breath) like Im gonna . (Another breath) BE SICK RIGHT NOW! (She runs off quickly)
PHOE: Eeesh, not nice!
ROSS: Yeah, now she cant enjoy the play!
(Monica & Chandlers. MONICA & CHANDLER are there, its late. Theyre both sitting down on the couch.)
MONI: Gosh, my head really hurts, they should give us compensation.
CHAN: Yeah, and I reserved a good table, not one next to the kitchen where you could get hit round the head with a waiters tray.
MONI: Yeah, a heavy tray carrying five big plates! Im gonna have a bruise for months.
CHAN: Well, the food was good.
MONI: I can easily make better food!
CHAN: (Mutters slightly sarcastically) Hmph. Yeah.
MONI:(sits up straight quickly) What did you say?
CHAN: Of course you could!
MONI: Ok. (Smiles and sits back down)
(Enter ROSS, JOEY & PHOEBE.)
PHOE: Yeah Joey you were AWESUM! That was great!
(JOEY kicks PHOEBE slightly and stares hard at her)
JOEY: (speaks to PHEOBE so lowly that only she and ROSS can hear.) Its a surprise! Dont spoil it for them!!!
PHOE: (Claps her hand to her mouth for a second and mutters) oops!
CHAN: What the
(PHOEBE cuts him off)
PHOE: Yeah Joey, you kicked that guys ass!
ROSS: All the way to Uranus!
ROSS: NO Joey, I meant the planet!
JOEY: Yeah, right!
MONI: What do you mean? Joey, did you get into a fight?
CHAN:(Sarcasticly) No Mon, he did ballet and accidentally kicked someone in the butt.
(MONICA looks at him strongly and he shuts up)
PHOE: Yeah, it was well cool, this guy told him he was really bad so Joey says Come on, show me what your made of then? Huh? and guess what? He did! (Giggles slightly) He was really bad!
PHOE: NO, I meant the guy you kicked the bejesus out of.
JOEY: Oh, sorry Pheebs.
CHAN: What do you mean he was bad?
ROSS: No, he meant Joey was annoying, you know really BADly annoying. (Mutters a bit-) yeah (ROSS, JOEY & PHOEBE all look down.)
MONI: (Slowly) O.K. Anyway, its great you guys all had a good time.
PHOE: Nuh uh, Rachel didnt, shes in the bathroom puking. She started again in the middle of the play.
MONI: Oh poor Rachel. I wonder whats wrong with her.
(Cuts to Rachel & Joeys. Rachel is alone. She has just come out of the bathroom. She looks pale and ruffled.)
RACH: (To herself) OOOHHHHHHH! Whats wrong with me! (She rubs her back) Oooh, Id better lye down. (Goes to lye down) No I shouldnt! (Runs quickly to the bathroom.)
(Enter JOEY. He walks in and takes of his coat. He opens the fridge and takes a beer out then hears the noise in the bathroom.)
JOEY: Hey Rach. You all right?
RACH: (Coming out of the bathroom) Yeah, just peachy! Oh GOOOOWWWWD! Whats wrong with me? Id say I had a stomach bug, but I have backaches and headaches and Im sweating the Nile over here! Oh, by the way you left the fridge open. (She sits down.)
(JOEY leaps and holds his butt for a second realising he had his back touching the open door of the fridge. He closes it.)
JOEY: Maybe you should go to bed. Its late.
RACH: Yeah, but I know that as soon as I get to bed Ill be out of it again. (Sees JOEYS quizzical look) Bathroom. (JOEY gets it.)
JOEY: Look Rach, just go to bed and Ill bring you a bucket.
RACH: Thanks Joe. (She goes into her bedroom)
RACH: (O.S) Hey Joey, could you phone my doctor and make an early morning appointment for me tomorrow?
JOEY: How early is early?
RACH: (O.S) Between 8:30 and 11:00 if you could?
JOEY: But arent you at work at 8:30?
RACH:(O.S) Im not going in tomorrow, Ill sleep in. Look Joey, could you just do this please.
JOEY: Ok. Whats his number?
RACHEL: Its in the phone book. Hes called Doctor Valenti. V-A-L-E-N-T-I. Got it.
(JOEY scribbles something down on a pad.)
JOEY: Ok, got it. Ill phone him then bring you your bucket and something to drink?
RACH: (O.S) Sounds great. Can you make some hot Honey and Lemon?
RACH: (O.S) (Strained) But I might need the bucket now!
(JOEY picks something up and rushes in to Rachel room.)
(Scene: Doctors Surgery. RACHEL is sitting on a chair in front of a desk. Behind the desk is her (cute) Doctor (slightly Indian looking) (DOCT) who is questioning her.)
DOCT: So, how long have you been feeling bad for?
RACH: Well, Ive been feeling a bit groggy for about a week and about 2 days ago the headaches started to get worse and I got quite strong stomach pains.
DOCT: What sort of pains? Quick spasms or long pains.
RACH: Quick spasms in which I through up at least once a minute.
DOCT: OK. Could you lye down for a second.
(RACHEL lies down on the bed next to the wall. Doctor Valenti feels her glands, around her temples, looks into her mouth and ears, listens to her heart and other doctory stuff (I dont know much about medicine, so Im sorry if my facts are incorrect, I have no source.) Then he stops and signals for RACHEL to sit up and he takes a step back.)
DOCT: OK then Rachel. I think I know whats wrong with you.
RACH: You do? Oh good. (She starts to get up)
DOCT: Oh no, I think that you might want to stay sitting.
RACH: OH! That bad?
DOCT: No, not really, itll just be a bit of a shock for you. But I promise that I will help you through it all. But Im sure youll be fine.
RACH: OK. So, whats wrong with me?
DOCT: Well Rachel, Im not sure, but Im fairly certain. (RACHEL looks at him as if shes saying Well, got on with it then.) Youve
(Scene switch just before he tells her whats wrong. Monica & Chandlers. PHOEBE, MONICA & CHANDLER are there. MONICA & CHANDLER are on the couch. He has his arm around her. PHOEBE is on the Barken Lounger. The finale to a Television show that they love and watch every week (Ill have made this up, so Im sorry if it seems a bit naf, its all I could think of.)
MONI: OH MY GOD! I just cant wait! For two weeks theyve kept us waiting TWO WEEKS! I just have to know if Johns got cancer!
CHAN: Relax Mon its not a catastrophe. (Beat) But I cant wait either!
MONI: Man, I cant believe Rosss missing this! If I were him I would have called in sick, class or no class!
PHOE: Oh and I hope Tinas pregnant! Thatll be so great! Then Ill finally be able to relate to a character on the show!
MONI: What do you mean Pheebs?
PHOE: Well you know, Jennys a clean freak like you.
MONI: Hey! Im not a freak. I just like a clean place, thats all. (Pouts a bit)
PHOE: (Ignores her) And everybody thinks Tom is Gay, like Chandler.
CHAN: HEY! Im not gay! And you dont still think that, do you Pheebs? I mean Im getting married, to Monica, a girl. Plus if shes pregnant shell probably have to leave the show to have and raise the baby!
PHOE: (looks away and says quieter:) Yeah Right! Well whatever you say.
CHAN: Hey! Look . (MONICA cuts him off)
MONI: Hey look! Its starting!
(They all turn their attention to the television screen. They settle down. A few oos and ahhs come from them, but they look like they dont want to talk or be interrupted.)
(Enter RACHEL looking rather upset and flustered.)
RACH: Hey guys. (They shhh her.) Look, I have something really important to tell you. (Stronger shhs) Look guys this is really important! I need you to listen properly so you can show the proper amount of surprise!
MONI:(Not really concentrating) Rach, is it really important?
PHOE: Will we not be able to think about anything else cause were so shocked?
RACH: Well, proberly.
CHAN: Then tell us when the shows over, because we dont want anything to wreck the show, anything!
MONI: You wouldnt ruin it for us Rach, would you? You are a good enough friend to not ruin it for us, right?
RACH: Urrgh! Ok. (She gives up realising shes lost in getting their attention, and collapses on to the recliner that PHOEBE has vacated because she has sided onto the floor in excitement. About 10 seconds later the announcer (ANNO) interrupts the program.)
ANNO: Im sorry to interrupt this sitcom, but we are bringing you live the football game.
(CHANDLER stands up in disgust and anger. He shouts:)
CHAN: A football game? A Football game???
PHOE: Chandler, you are supposed to be a man, men like football games.
(CHANDLER looks slightly embarrassed and sits down slowly.)
PHOE: But still, youre right!!!
MONI: Oh! Im so annoyed! How could they! At least two more hours until we find out who Debbie loves! (Rachel is looking untouched by the news, but is slowly starting to pay attention) I mean, Im gonna have to go to work before then; Im going to miss it! OH NO! IM GOING TO MISS IT!
CHAN: Relax Mon. You can record it on one of your super super long tapes so that we can record the football game as well. The game I cant watch because Rachel has something important to tell us thatll shock me so much I wont be able to watch it. (He mutters:) Yeah, thatll do.
MONI: Youre right, that will work out just great actually. ( She gets up and goes to the tv. She kneels down and buisies herself in the video collection in the drawer.) So, what did you want to tell us Rach?
RACH: Ill wait until youve sat down.
PHOE: Oh, that bad eh? (RACHEL nods.) (MONICA finishes what shes doing and goes and sits down next to CHANDLER.)
MONI: (Slightly Uncaring and sarcastic) Ok, so whats you problem then?
(RACHEL stands up)
RACH: Well, you see, its just the fact that .
PHOE: For the love of God tell us whats wrong!
RACH: All right Pheebs. Ok, here goes. (They all watch her with anticipation.) Im Pregnant!
(Everyone looks at her amazed. No-one speaks.) RACH: Guys?
MONI: What the .I mean wha how the .. HOW?
PHOE: I think its pretty obvious how Monica! Sheesh! What we want to know Rachel is how long?
RACH: 2 months.
PHOE: And whos the father, no wait I know that, its, um TAG!!! Oh, he must be soooo happy! Have you have told him, right?
PHOE: Why, Rachel you have to tell him, if you dont thats just irresponsible and (shes cut off)
RACH: BECAUSE HES NOT THE FATHER!!!!!!!
PHOE: OH. (She shuts up.)
CHAN: Then who is?
RACH: Thats the really bad thing, I dont know.
MONI: Oh. Ahh, well thats oooh, um..
RACH: (Shouts:) If youve got nothing to say then dont speak!
MONI: (Whispers) Sorry.
(They all are silent, RACHEL is still standing up. None of them move. The camera zooms out and fades to black.)
(Scene: Rachel & Joeys. JOEY is there alone, practicing his script. Its about 9:00pm later that night. ROSS and JOEY still dont know about RACHEL.)
JOEY: (In a bad British accent) Sir, there is a young man see to you. -NOPE thats not right!- Sir, there is a young man to see you. Shall I let him in? -Yes, got it! - (Does a low voice) Yes Jeeves, Do.
(Joey walks to the door, pretending to go off stage. He waits for about 5 seconds then walks back in, pretending to have someone following him closely.) Here he is sir (Low voice again-) Thank you again. You may leave. (Joey walks to the side.) Cool, Im getting this right!
(The door opens and hits him hard. Enter ROSS)
JOEY: OWWWWWW! ROSS!
ROSS: (Depressed) Hi. Sorry.
JOEY: Whats wrong man? You look like youve eaten .well ..something horrible!?
ROSS: I feel like it. Lucinda broke up with me.
JOEY: Oh. Sorry man. I always told you that chick wasnt right for you.
ROSS: Joey, she works in my department.
JOEY: So. She didnt look right.
ROSS: How can you tell by what she looks like?
JOEY: I dunno, its just an ability that I have, you clearly dont have it.
ROSS: Huh! (he goes and sits down on the barker lounger.)
JOEY: So, what you planning on doing now?
ROSS: I dont know; hang out with you and Chandler?
JOEY: Well you can hang out with me, but as you can see, Chandlers not here.
ROSS: Well go get him then
JOEY: (Has a slightly puzzled look on his face but walks out the door muttering:)Well, whatever you want.
(Cut to: Monica and Chandlers. Where you left before, but they are all starting to talk now.)
MONI: Are you sure you and Tag couldnt have possibly .well
RACH: For the last time Monica, NO!
MONI: Im sorry Rach, but it has to have happened some way, are you sure its not a fake positive?
RACH: No, somehow I just know the doctors right. (Moans then collapses into a chair.)
MONI: Then, you havent you know, done anyone else right?
RACH: Dont you think I would remember .wait a sec, I do remember waking up about, 5 or 6 weeks ago. I think .. no wait
RACH: Well, I remember waking up on the sofa with a really bad headache and dragging myself to bed. But I dont remember anything else; wow I must have really been drunk. I mean (she fades off and looks up to the ceiling, she has one of those flashback things but this time its different. You zoom in on her face and it does the flashback music and goes all swirly and you she about 2 second clips that flash really quickly, the camera zooms around really quickly and acts drunk because it never films straight or focuses properly: First you see RACHEL on a couch you think you recognise opening a bear. Quick flash to: her holding the beer and chinking it drunkardly with someone you cant see. Flash too: shes fallen over and looking up at someone. Flash to: you see her fall onto the couch and you see someones legs underneath her. (You can make up more odd scenes of Rachel drunk and stumbling about if you want, but Im done=).) Then you fade out to see her still daydreaming and you know that shes supposed to be thinking more things, then her eyes widen and she claps her hand too her mouth. She says:) Oh NO!!!!! (She then runs into the bathroom.)
CHAN: Well, that was fun.
PHOE: I wonder what happened, I wonder who the father is. I really hope its someone she knows well.
PHOE: Because then its easier, because you can have help and support and they have to help pay child support.
MONI: I think thats only if they were married.
PHOE: Are you sure? I dont think it its.
MONI: I thought thats what . maybe not . oh I dont (she gets cut off by JOEY walking in.)
JOEY: Hey, (Looks at Chandler) hey man, you doing anything?
CHAN: Well, I dont think (gets cut off)
JOEY: Good, come on then. (Points to the door.)
CHAN: (unsure:) O.K (he gets up) But first I think theres something Rachels got to tell you
(RACHEL comes out of the bathroom and hears this. She says:) No, Im good, you gus dont mind me resting in your spare room do you?
MONI: Well .
RACH: Good, dont wake me up. (she walks into PHOEBES old room.)
(They just stand there for about to second then JOEY says:) Come on Chandler! Oh yeah, and remember the play tonight.
(Joey and Rachels. ROSS is on a Barker Lounger. Enter JOEY and CHANDLER:)
CHAN: K, whats up? What did you want?
ROSS: You remember Lucinda?
CHAN: What? That boring chick in your department. Sure.
ROSS: Hey, shes NOT boring. (Mutters fondly) She taught me all about carbonised Septanaurus fossilisation in mammals.
JOEY: Ok, like anyone cares Ross.
CHAN: Whats the deal with her then?
ROSS: She broke up with me.
CHAN: You were going out? Since when? And why didnt anyone tell me?
ROSS: Yes. Two weeks. And we forgot to tell you.
CHAN: Wha..you just forgot ..? how , Why? Why dont you guys tell me stuff anymore?
JOEY: We do. Just not everything.
CHAN: (Sarcastically) Well thats just great. (Starts to walk out.)
JOEY: Chandler, I still tell you more then Ross. (CHANDLER walks out.)
ROSS: Well thats just . How much more?
JOEY: Wouldnt you like to know.
(Cut to: Monica & Chandlers. RACHEL & MONICA are there. Both sitting on the couch.)
MONI: You have to tell us! Who is it?
RACH: Ive told you. I dont know!
MONI: Stop lying. I know you know.
RACH:(Shouts) Just stop it OK? Im really getting annoyed with your incessant questions!
MONI:(Quietly:) Sorry. (Louder:) But you have to tell Ross and Joey.
RACH: Oh, well. I dont know.
MONI: If you dont tell them theyll notice anyway. Unless you have an abortion.
RACH: No way Monica! You know Im against abortion. I just dont think I could deal with Joeys sex comments and Ross awful shock. Its just too hard.
MONI: I know Itll be hard sweetie, but only as hard as telling me, Chandler & Phoebe.
RACH: I dont know, I just dont want to tell them. (JOEY walks in while shes saying this:)
JOEY: Dont want to tell who what?
(RACHEL looks desperately at MONICA who looks sternly back:)
(RACHEL stands up and MONICA stands a little behind her.)
RACH: Ok Joey, dont freak out or do some odd thing. Ok? (JOEY nods unsurely.) Well, Im Pregnant. (Silence.) Joey?
JOEY: What? Oh yeah. Wow Rach. How? No I know that. Who with?
RACH: Oh its I dont know.
JOEY: Whos that? Weird name. No wait you dont know who it is right? (RACHEL shakes her head slowly.) AHHH. Well wait a sec! Am I the last to know?
MONI: No she hasnt told Ross yet, though I really think you should Rach cause (she gets a stern look from RACHEL) Well, this is really your story, you should be telling it. (She sits down.)
JOEY: When are you gonna tell Ross? (RACHEL shrugs.) Oh, why havent you?
RACH: Well, Im just waiting for the right time you know? And, well its just..
JOEY: Because of your history and youre scared of how hell react and he might be jealous and he might start to be distant and (RACHEL cuts him off:)
RACH: I think you just aboutve got it there Joey! Its just because I havent seen him yet.
MONI: You have seen him! It was (RACHEL glares at her) Ok Ill shut up now.
RACH: (Through gritted teeth:) OK then.
JOEY: Then why havent you told Ross yet? (Just as he says that ROSS walks in behind him.)
ROSS: Havent told me what? (ROSS cant see JOEYS face, but he looks like you do when youve just accidentally spilled a big secret you werent supposed to.)
MONI: Well, um . I havent told you that I may be going away for the weekend.
ROSS: Without Chandler?
MONI: Urgh Yeah. Hey Joey, can you help me pack?
JOEY (Keenly:) Yeah. (They walk into Monicas room.)
ROSS: (Goes to the Kitchen and gets a drink from the fridge.) Wow, I wonder how long shes been planning this? Oh well, you know Monica.
RACH: Yeah I do. (Silence.) Actually I dont.
ROSS: What? You dont know Monica?
RACH: What? Oh no. Its just that shes not going away for the weekend.
ROSS: She isnt? Then why would she say that? What did she want to tell me?
ROSS: Then why did Joey ask why she hasnt told me yet?
RACH: He didnt.
ROSS: Yes he did, I heard him.
RACH: No, he wasnt asking Monica, he was asking me.
ROSS: Oh, well, what did you need to tell me?
ROSS: Yes you did Rach. What is it?
RACH: I dont really want to Its just that..
ROSS: (Sternly:) Rach?
RACH: Well, you see, Its a slight problem but Im sure its ok.
RACH: Well, Im Pregnant. (Long Silence.)
ROSS:(Very very shocked:) Oh.
(Fade to Monicas room. JOEY & MONICA are there, JOEY on the bed & MONICA on a chair next to the door:)
MONI: Wow. She told him.
JOEY: How did you know?
MONI: I can hear them.
JOEY: No, about Rach.
MONI: She told me.
MONI: Phoebe and Chandler.
JOEY: Oh, why me last?
MONI: Youre not last. Ross is.
JOEY: Oh, ok. Thats better then. Do you know?
MONI: No Joey. Just shut up.
JOEY: I wonder how she is
MONI: Well shes shocked, and upset. (Slightly sarcastically:) Poor, poor Rachel.
JOEY: Mon, whats wrong?
MONI:(Standing up) Its just not fair!
JOEY:(Also standing up:) What?
RACH: Well she hasnt even got a proper boyfriend and shes not engaged or married and shes already pregnant! style='mso-tab-count:1'> It should be me! Its not fair. Shes cheating. (JOEY hugs MONICA.)
JOEY: Its ok, its not her fault Mon. She didnt want this or ask for it.
MONI: So. Shes gonna have it before me, and Ill be the last.
JOEY: But the best.
MONI: (Pulling away and looking at him.) What?
JOEY: Because youll have it with Chandler, someone you love.
MONI: I suppose.
JOEY: Mon, what you need to do now is support Rachel, not be jealous.
MONI: Youre right.
(Cut to CENTRAL PERK. About two weeks later. Everyone is presant except ROSS. We assume ROSS took the news fairly well.)
PHOE: Listen Rach, if you need any help or information, just come to me.
RACH: (slowly) Thanks Pheebs, Ill remember that.
ROSS: I just had the worst day at work!
RACH: Oh, why?
ROSS: Well at first some student in my lecture chucked a Ham Sandwich at me! (They all look slightly amused.) Then in the hall, a group of boys kept lauging at me and saying: Hey, Asshole! Why, why do they do that? What have I done?
RACH:( Trying to keep a straight face:) Well, Ross honey it might be because of this:( She reaches behind his back and pulls something off. She shows it to him. Its a piece of paper sayin: Hi, Im an asshole who likes Ham Sandwiches.)
ROSS: Oh my God! Why would any one do that?
PHOE: I know! Imean, why ham sandwiches? If they wanted something to make people throw at you, they should have use thai sauce or something!
ROSS: Not quite the reaction I was looking for Pheebs! (PHOEBE looks srangely at him for a second then gets it.)
ROSS: Its just recently Ive been having a really hard time at work.
RACH: Oh ,Ross, speaking of work. Can you do something for me?
ROSS:(Sitting down:) Depends what it it is.
RACH: Well, I have to give these papers to someone at work tonight, but as it turns out Ive got a very important docters appointment at the same time that I cant change.
RACH: Yeah, I know weird time, but he just got back from his honeymoon and he really needs them tonight, so we organised to meet, and he has to get them. So I was hoping that you could do a pregnant woman a favour and take them to him.
ROSS: Ok, sure Rach. Where and when.
RACH: Top of the Empire State building at 9:00. (ROSS looks very shocked.)
ROSS: T..t..top of the Empire state Building? At nine?
RACH: Yeah I know, but hes just getting back and he wanted to take his wife there, so we arranged to meet there.
ROSS: (Slowly:) O.k.
RACH: Plus Ive never been up there, so I didnt mind.
ROSS: O.k. Why at nine?
RACH: Well, only time he could make it, and the only time I could get an appointment.
ROSS: So, how do I know who he is?
RACH: If you come to my place about 8 and Ill give you the papers and a photo so you know what he looks like.
ROSS: (Slowly and unsurley:) O.K then. See ya then! (He walks out quickly.)
MONI: Would you care to explain what that was about?
PHOE: Werent you listening?
MONI: Yes I was! Why didnt you ask me?.
RACH: Sorry Mon, its just that he had a bad day.
CHAN: And this is supposed to help him?
MONI: Shut up Chandler.
CHAN:( Feigning sadness:) Fine, Im obviously not wanted here! (Walks out.)
MONI:(Beliving that hes upset:) Oh, Im sorry honey! (Gets up and goes after him.)
RACH:That was weird.
PHOE: It was?
JOEY: Not as weird as you and Ross.
JOEY: Oh come one Rach. That story is soo unrealistic.
PHOE: Hes right you know.
RACH: No he isnt.
PHOE: Yes he is! You can always get docters appointments.
RACH:(Getting up:) Not with this docter! And I would never do that to Ross! Youre so mean to think I would. (She walks out.)
PHOE: Do you belive her?
JOEY: Not one tiny bit.
(Time lapse. Joey & Rachels. Its about 8:oopm and RACHELS alone. Shes rushing about in her bedroom and drawers are upturned and books are open etc basically the place is a mess. She is muttering while looking.:) A picture of a guy he hasnt seen, I need a guy he hasnt seen. (she looks up for a second.) Eww. Ohh, I think Ive found it! (She is holding a small portrait, you cant see whos on it. Theres a knock at the door. She grabs an a envelope and the photo and rushes to the door. She opens it, its ROSS.:) Hey.
ROSS: Hey. You have it?
RACH: Right here. (She hands him the package.)
ROSS: Thanks, Ill go now.
RACH: It was nice doing buisness with you.
ROSS: Same. (He walks off.)
(Scene: Empire State Building. Its about 9:10 and ROSS is standing alond holing the envelope by his side and the photo to his face, hes looking around and looks a bit frustrated.)
ROSS: Where is he! I could kill Rach!
(Time Lapse of about 15 minutes.)
ROSS:(Anrigly) I am so DEFINITLY gonna kill Rachel!
WOMAN:(From behind him.) Why? (ROSS turns around and sees RACHEL standing there.)
ROSS:( Pointing at RACHEL and looking mad.:) You! You set me up! There is no guy!
RACH: You think I set you up?
RACH: What? Where is he?
ROSS: Why are you here?
RACH: Well, he cancelled my appointment so I came up to see how it went.
ROSS: Well the jerk didnt show up!
RACH: Oh Ross honey, come here. (she hugs him and he looks annoyed but doesnt move.) Hey, how about we have a soda and enjoy the veiw while were up here. We can also look out for Mark
ROSS: The guy was called Mark. The Mark? Thats why he stood me up!
RACH: For starters, its not the Mark, and it wasnt a date.
ROSS: Not a date? It was a set date to meet! And he didnt come.
RACH: Ok, look Ross, dont hate me ok?
ROSS: What? Why?
RACH: Well, just after you came he phoned to say he couldnt come. Thats why Im up here.
ROSS: Thats just great Rach. Why didnt you phone my mobile?
RACH: Coz I dont know your number. Look, lets just enjoy this ok? I love the veiw!
ROSS: (Giving up:) Ohh k. But you pay for my soda. (RACHEL smiles at him.)
(Time lapse: Theyre walking around with sodas quite close to the edge looking over at the veiw.)
RACH:(Dreamiliy:) Isnt it pretty?
ROSS: (Forgiven her:) Yeah. Its quite something. You know Carol and I used to come up here all the time. We used to .(cut off.)
RACH: I dont think we want to know about this now Ross.
ROSS: K. Should we sit down?
RACH: Ok. (They go and find somewhere to sit down.) Oh and Ross (he doesnt quite hear her.)
ROSS: (Cuts RACHEL off:) Oh, they make the nicest (Realises that RACHEL was trying to say something:) Oh Im sorry Rach, what were you trying to say?
RACH: Oh, nothing. It doesnt matter.
(They stare off to the distance for a minute. RACHEL seems to be thinking hard.)
RACH: Ok Ross, there was something I had to tell you.
ROSS: Oh really? What is it Rach?
RACH: Ok. I promise you that Im totally serious about this. It is not a joke.
ROSS:(Seriously:) Sure Rach, I promise. Whats wrong?
RACH: Do you remember about 3 months ago, waking up with a bad hangover?
ROSS: I dont know. I dont think so Rach.
RACH:(Surprised:) Oh, really, you sure that you didnt wake up on your couch all drousy.
ROSS: Im not sure, why Rach. Wait a sec, maybe I do remember. Yeah, I think I might of. It was a long time ago Rach. What? How would you know?
RACH: Well, I remember coming over because I was really upset about something, I dont remember what though.
(We go into a flash back scene. Its Ross place. Hes sitting on his own watching some film about dinosaurs with a beer in his hand. There is a knock at the door. ROSS goes to open it. Its a very depressed looking RACHEL.:)
ROSS: Rach, hi. What are you doing here.
RACH: I dont know. (She walks in straight past him.)
ROSS:(Closing the door:) Rach whats wrong?
RACH: Well, I was having dinner with Tag at my place, it was all romantic and everything. Then I asked him if he wanted to move to the bedroom and he said no, this is moving too fast! Then he said he had to go! I mean, is there something hiddeously wrong with me? Why? What is it? Is he just really baddly fridged? Oh god. I just need a drink. (She goes into the kitchen.) (O.S) Oh Ross, turn off that dinosaur crap on the T.V.
ROSS:(Turning off the T.V:) Im sure theres nothing wrong woth you Rach. Your gorgeous and nice. Come on, I even went out with you.
RACH:(O.S) Thats why Im worried!
ROSS:(Does the Ross upset/annoyed look at the camera:) Theres no chance you could fetch one of those for me is there Rach?
RACH:( Comes out of the Kitchen with 2 beers and a bottle of wine and 1 of whiskey.) This o.k.
ROSS:(Very surprised:) Wow! Rach? What wha what are you trying to do?
RACH:(In a duh voice:) Get seriously pissed. Gonna join me?
ROSS: Are you sure? Do you remember what happened the last time we got drunk together? Married Rach. Married!
RACH: Ross, we arent in Vegas any more anyway.
ROSS: Yeah, but
RACH: Ross, when was the last time you had a date?
ROSS: I think theres more beers in the kitchen!
(RACHEL nods and smiles slightly.)
(Time Lapse: ROSS and RACHEL are on the couch, even more drunk then they were in Vegas.)
ROSS: Heee.e.ey. Do ya wanna dohaho summthin wild?
RACH: We betta ave dun it beffffore coz I dont wanna try sumthin new.
ROSS: Oh weve definitly dun it before 298 timesssss! (hic ups. He cups RACHEL face in his hands and kisses her clumsily. She looks at him and says:) Yeah baby!
(Back to the present:)
ROSS:(Janice style:) Oh My God.
RACH: I know. I woke up in my apartment. I spent the whole day in bed! I dont even know how I got back!
ROSS: Iknow. God, we should never get drunk again.
RACH: Ross theres more.
RACH: Well, because of that, and the reason I was there. (ROSS looks quizzical.) Tag.
RACH: Gives me reson to believe, well that ..
RACH: That youre the father of my baby.
ROSS:(More shocked then when Carol told him she was pregnant.:) Oh.
(Fades out: Monica & Chandlers. CHANDLER & PHOEBE are there on the couch. Enter JOEY:)
JOEY: Well thats it. My plays finished. Now I have to find more work. This part really sucks.
CHAN: Well if it helps, I thought you were great.
PHOE: Yeah, a real star.
JOEY:(looks happy, but then looks sad again.:) But still. It sucks.
PHOE:( Standing up:) Oh come here honey. (Opens here arms and JOEY hugs her. Enter MONICA:)
JOEY:(Breaking the hug.) My plays finished.
MONI: Oh, sorry Joey. But if its any consolation I thought you were great out there.
JOEY:(Smiling:) Oh, thinks Mon.
MONI: No problem. I wonder where Ross and Rachel are. Theyve both been gone a long time.
(Switch to ROSS and RACHEL in the same positions as before but a little later.Theyve started talking again.)
ROSS: Well Rach wow! Im gonna be a father a second time! And its good that were, you know friends. Coz its bad to have it with 1 first date guy youve never met.
RACH: Yeah, spose. But it still sucks! (She starts to cry.)
ROSS:(Hugs her.:) Oh honey dont cry! Its gonna be ok. Youre gonna be a Mom! Thats the greatest bit.
RACH: I know, its just that, I always thought that the guy I had my first baby with I would be in love with, and wed be married. And now .it turns out to be you.
ROSS: Oh .I see. Well it was like that for me. Remember with Carol?
RACH: You see? Youre used to this! Oh, I wish we were still together, coz then it would be ok.
ROSS:(Thinks for a bit:) You know what Rach, we could be together.
RACH: What? Ross your crazy!
ROSS: No Rachel Im not. Were gonna have a baby together. It coulnt be more perfect!
RACH: I know. (ROSS cups her face in his hands.) Look, Ross, Im with you so far. But theres one problem. I dont love you any more.
ROSS: I know. I dont love you like that either. But we started off without love and we gained it, and Im sure, if we were given time, I could love you too.
RACH: Really? Oh, youre right. I think I could love you to Ross. But Im not sure about this.
ROSS: Didnt you always think that wed get back together some where along the line?
RACH: Well, yes..but.
ROSS: And now I think its perfect. For us and for our kid.
RACH: Oh Ross your right! But we could fight. And itll all break up, and be even harder for our baby!
ROSS: But we wouldnt know if we dont try.
RACH: I suppose. But how do I know I can trust you?
ROSS: Oh Rach! Im sorry about Chloe, God knows Im killing myself over it! But this is now and I need you Rach.
RACH: Oh god. I need you to Ross. (They kiss very passionately.) Oh my God. (She smiles.)
ROSS: I know.
RACH: Lets take a walk and enjoy the veiw.
(Cut to: Monica & Chandlers. Its the morning after. All are there except ROSS & RACHEL. Theyre all sitting except for MONICA.)
MONI: Where is she! I know Ross came home last night but Rachel never called. Are you sure she wasnt there Joey?
JOEY: Well I came home with Cindy at about 1:00 and she wasnt there then. I checked to make sure we wouldnt wake her up. And she wasnt there in the morning.
MONI:(She sits down next to CHANDLER on the couch.) Oh god! I hope shes ok.
CHAN: (Putting his arm around her.) Im sure shell be fine sweety. Dont worry.
MONI: You think?
CHAN: Yeah. (She smiles.)
MONI: (Ges up and walks over to her quickly:) Where the hell have you been?
RACH: Dont worry honey. Ive been..(At this point ROSS walks in.)
PHOE: Ok Rach, where were you?
RACH: Ok guys, sit down.
(MONICA sits down in the same place as before but ROSS stays standing.:)
JOEY: Ross, she said all of us.
ROSS: No its ok Joe, Ill stay standing.
MONI: Ok, lets just get down to what Rach wanted to say.
(RACHEL walks into the centre of the seating area and ROSS follows.)
RACH: Ok guys. Fistly, Ross and I are back together! (Takes ROSSS hand.)
M/C/J/P:Oh my god/really/ wow/congrats etc ..
RACH: Well thats the best bit! (To ROSS: Honey do you want to tell them?)
ROSS: K, The main reson is that well .her baby is mine.
RACH: Well, we got drunk a while back, and well.
JOEY: Wow! Guys this is huge. (All except MONICA get up and hug them.)
ROSS: And you know what. If all works out, well get married beforethe babys born! (P/J/C hug them again.)
RACH: Mon, are you ok?
MONI:(Truly happy.) Oh yeah, this is great Im so happy for you!
MONI: Well, its just that .(she gets up and angrily says:) Thunder being stolen! (She walks out.)
Well, thats it. My first Fanfic. Did you like it? Please PLEASE tell me what you think. Please send feedback to Devilmez@hotmail.com I just want to know if I should write another one.
By the way, I know this was mainly a Ross and Rachel fanfic but Im actually a Monica and Chandler fan, so sorry R&R fans but if I write another itll be more a Monica and Chandler fic.
C ya and thanks for reading it.