Written by: Ethan
Disclaimer: These characters do not belong to me, but to Bright, Kaufman and Crane Productions and Warner Bros. Their use is not intended for profit, only for entertainment.
CENTRAL PERK (everyone is present and in their usual seats)
Joey: Hey Chandler, Baywatch starts in five minutes. Are you coming or not?
(Chandler glances at Monica with a "pretty please look")
Monica: Chandler, if you want to watch scantily clothed women running around the beach instead of being with your girlfriend then go.
Chandler (realizing what Monica is really saying - to Joey, sadly): I cant go.
Joey: But Chandler she just told you that you can go.
Chandler: This coming from a man who has never been in a relationship for more than two weeks.
Joey (puzzled): Fine, I'll see you guys later. (Joey leaves)
Phoebe: Sounds like someone is whooped.
Ross (mimicking Chandler): Oh sweety, cant I go and watch the hot women have fun in the sun.
Rachel (mimicking Monica): If you go, then no sex for a week!
CENTRAL PERK (same as before, Joey is not present)
Ross: So Rach, are we still going to the movies later?
Rachel: Yeah, it starts at 7:30.
Monica: You guys are going to the movies and you didnt invite us? What, are we not good enough for you?
Phoebe: Oh I know what it is, theyre secretly dating again. You know, lobsters walking along the ocean floor together.
Rachel (quickly glancing at Ross): No, were not lobsters and were not dating again. We just really want to see "The Whole Nine Yards." (to Monica) Besides, you and Chandler already saw it.
Chandler: Yeah, the guy that played the dentist was a total geek.
Phoebe: Oh, I would love to go to the movies with you guys.
Rachel: Ah, Phoebe, arent you forgetting your date tonight with Fred?
Rachel: Then why did you tell him this morning that you would see him tonight?
Phoebe: Oh yeah, now I remember. God, it sucks being blessed with a crappy memory.
Ross: Well, I have to go. Ben and I are going to the Museum of Natural History. Ill see you guys later. Rach, do you wanna get dinner before the movie?
Rachel: Fine with me. How about I meet you at your place at 5:30?
Ross: Alright, see ya then. (Ross leaves)
Rachel (noticing Chandler, Monica and Phoebe are staring at her)- What?
Phoebe: One word. Lobsters.
Chandler: Dinner and a movie, sounds like a date to me.
Monica (singing): Rachels still in love with Ross! Rachel is still in love with Ross!
(Rachel gets up to get more coffee and notices Monica and Chandler mimicking her and Ross) Rachel: Thats it. Im leaving.
CHANDLER & MONICAS
(Monica is tidying up the place, notices a beer bottle on the coffee table)
Monica: (to Chandler who is entering from their bedroom) Chandler, how many times have I told you to use a coaster.
Chandler (under his breath): That would make it an even 1,000.
Monica: What did you say?
Chandler: Nothing sweetie. I just said I forgot and Im sorry.
Monica: Thats ok. Just try and remember. I love you.
Chandler: I love you too.
(The door opens and Ross enters, he notices that Chandler and Monica are making out in the middle of the apartment)
Ross: Hi guys. So, Chandler how does my sisters tonsils taste?
(Chandler and Monica break).
Chandler: Geez, doesnt anybody knock before they enter anymore. We couldve been naked.
Ross: And thats a sight I dont want to see.
Monica: Ross, what are you doing here, arent you going to the movies with Rachel tonight?
Ross: Yeah, at 5:30. What time is it?
Chandler (lying): 5:15.
Ross: Oh no, I better go then, see ya later. (Ross leaves)
Monica: Honey, its only 4:30, why did you lie to him?
(Chandler wraps his arms around Monica and begins kissing her neck)
Monica: Oh, good idea.
Movie Theatre (Ross and Rachel are standing in line for tickets)
Ross: Did you enjoy your dinner?
Rachel: It was alright. I kinda lost my appetite after I found that black hair in my salad.
Ross: Well at least we ate for free.
(suddenly we hear a woman in line calling Ross. Ross looks around and doesn't see who it is.)
Woman: Ross! How are you, dinosaur guy?
Ross (nervously): Oh my God, ah, Chloe, what are you doing here?
Chloe: Oh, I'm here with Gunther, we are seeing Scream 3. (to Rachel). Oh I'm sorry, we haven't met, I'm Chloe.
Rachel (slightly upset, but composed): Hi, I'm Rachel.
Chloe: Oh yeah, you're the girl that Ross was so crazy about a couple of years ago. So, what, are you guys like married now?
Ross (trying to break the tension): Actually, funny story, we got drunk in Las Vegas, decided to get married and then got divorced cause we couldn't get an annulment. Yep, three failed marriages that's me.
Rachel (shooting Chloe a dirty look): Actually Ross and I broke up three years ago because he slept with someone else. So were not married, we're not even dating.
Chloe (realizing that Rachel is talking about her): Okay, I think I'll be getting back to Gunther. Bye Ross, (slight pause) Rachel. (Chloe leaves).
Ross: Rach, what did you do that for?
Rachel: Do what?
Ross: You told her why we broke up.
Rachel: It's the truth isn't it?
Ross (pause): Yeah, it is, but I thought we had moved passed that.
Rachel: Well, who knew that we'd bump into that bitch tonight.
Ross: She's not a bitch.
Rachel (mad and upset): You're defending her?
Ross: No I am just saying that she's a nice person.
Rachel: Oh, she must be nice, you slept with her!
Ross: Can we talk about this later?
Rachel: No. I don't want to talk about it. I'm going home. (Rachel leaves)
Ross: Rach, wait! Damn it!
CHANDLER & MONICA'S (Chandler and Monica are watching TV while cuddling on the couch, Joey is in the kitchen eating, Ross enters)
Ross (depressed): Hi.
Chandler: Aren't you suppose to be at the movies with Rachel?
Ross: Yeah, but there was a slight problem. We bumped into Chloe.
Monica: Who's Chloe?
Chandler (to Monica): She's the girl he slept with after he and Rachel went on a break.
Joey: Oh yeah, she's totally hot.
Monica: Oh my God, what did Rachel say?
Ross: She told her that she was the reason we broke up. Then after Chloe left, she called her a bitch.
Monica: Well she is, isn't she?
Ross: No! She's a nice person.
Joey: She's hot too.
Chandler: Please tell me you didn't defend her in front of Rachel.
Ross: I did. Look, just because she's the reason Rach and I broke up, doesn't mean she's a bitch.
Monica: Ross, are you stupid or something? You don't defend the person who came between lovers. If a woman came between Chandler and I, I would call her a bitch too. In a woman's eye, she's the enemy.
Ross: Come on Monica that was three years ago. Just yesterday Rachel said she forgave me.
Monica: That doesn't mean she forgot.
PHOEBE & RACHEL'S (Phoebe and Rachel are sitting down and talking)
Phoebe: So then what happened?
Rachel: Then we bumped into Chloe.
Phoebe: Who's Chloe?
Rachel: The person Ross slept with when we were together.
Phoebe: Oh that Chloe. Is she cute?
(Rachel glares at Phoebe)
Phoebe: No, no, that's not a good question. Then what happened?
Rachel: She asked if we were married and I told her no, that we broke up three years ago because he slept with someone else. Then she quickly left. Then I called her a bitch and Ross defended her.
Phoebe: What do you mean he defended her?
Rachel: He said that she was a nice person.
Phoebe: Well, can't she be a bitch and a nice person.
Rachel: That makes no sense. You're either a bitch or a nice person.
Phoebe: So what am I?
Phoebe: What am I, a bitch or a nice person?
Rachel: We're talking about Chloe, Phoebe. (sees Phoebe is waiting for an answer) You're a nice person.
(there is a knock on the door, Rachel goes to get it, it's Mark)
Mark: Hey Rachel, I was in the neighborhood so I figured I stop by.
Phoebe (smitten): Hi Mark, I'm Phoebe.
Rachel: So Mark, how are you?
Mark: I'm good, though I just broke up with my girlfriend. Apparently she was sleeping with someone else. Kinda like what Ross did to you Rach.
Rachel (now clearly upset and holding back tears): I'll, I'll be right back. I have to, I have to go to the bathroom. (With that Rachel walks into her bedroom instead of the bathroom)
Mark (to Phoebe): Did I say something wrong?
Phoebe: No, she's just had a bad day.
Mark: I am going to talk with her.
(there is a knock at the door and Phoebe goes and answers it)
Ross: Hey Pheebs, is Rachel here, I need to talk to her.
Phoebe: Yeah, she's in her bedroom. I wouldn't go in there though. She's pretty upset and .(watches Ross open Rachel's bedroom door and look in and notice Mark closely hugging Rachel who is crying) Mark is here.
Ross (shocked, jealous and upset): Oh, um, I'll come back later.
Mark: Dont go, I am just leaving. (to Rachel) See ya later. Ross, good to see you again.
Mark: Bye Phoebe.
Phoebe: Mark, I'll walk you out. (Phoebe and Mark leave. Cut back to Rachel's bedroom).
Rachel (sobbing): Ross, go away. I can't talk to you right now.
Ross: No, I am staying. I have something to say and you're going to hear it.
Rachel: Please just go away.
Ross (Ross goes over and sits next to Rachel on her bed): Look Rach, I love you. I always have and always will. I love you more than life itself. I know it was painful for you to see Chloe tonight. It was painful for me to see Mark. But, my love for you is stronger than that. If I didn't feel the pain, I would know that I don't love you. But it hurts so bad to see you with Mark at any time because I love you so much. What happened between us in the past is in the past. We can't change what happened but we can forgive and move on.
Rachel: It's not going to work Ross. I love you too. But after tonight, it seems like the stars are aligned against us. How else can you explain seeing Chloe and Mark on the same night? The same night that I have been waiting for for over a year and we meet up with both of them. I want us again too, but I just don't think will make it. I can't go through the pain again if we were to break-up.
Ross: We won't break-up.
Rachel: That's what you said last time.
Ross: Rachel, we both have grown. Our friendship has grown. We're meant for each other.
Rachel: No, it's too hard. We're better off as friends. Could you please leave, its hard enough as it is.
Ross: No, I won't leave. Not until I convince you that we're meant to be.
Rachel: Damn it Ross, there is no us, there will never be us again, accept that.
Ross (hurt): You know that's what you told me the night we first got together.
Rachel: Ross, I'm serious. There is no us. You should go.
Ross (still hurt): Fine, but before I go I have to do one thing. (Ross takes Rachel by the hand, briefly looks into her eyes, and kisses Rachel. Rachel is caught off guard, and then gets into the kiss. After a minute, they break.)
Ross: Sorry, I needed one since we'll never be together again. I'll see you later. (Ross gets up and heads for the bedroom door).
Rachel: Ross wait! (Rachel gets off the bed and walks towards Ross).
Ross (stops at the door): What?
Rachel: Please don't go.
Ross (laughing): Geez Rach, make up your mind. Should I stay or should I go?
Rachel: Stay. (Rachel grabs Ross' hand and pulls him close to her). I love you.
Ross: I love you too. (Ross begins to kiss Rachel and clothes start coming off )
CENTRAL PERK (the next morning. Monica, Phoebe, Joey, and Chandler are present)
Phoebe: I am telling ya, they got back together last night.
Joey: Who got together?
Monica: Ross and Rachel you idiot.
Chandler: Joe, haven't you been listening to the conversation?
Joey: No, I have been checking out the hot girl over there. (Chandler turns around and looks and Monica hits him in the stomach)
Chandler (to Monica): What did you do that for? I was just looking for Ross and Rachel.
Monica: Save it Chandler. (to Phoebe) How do you know they got back together?
Phoebe: Well duh. Ross came to the apartment last night and he never left. Besides I kept hearing Rachel say his name over and over again. Its any wonder how I slept at all last night.
Monica: Oh my God, then it must be true. Either that or Rachel was having an erotic dream.
Joey (who's still only half listening): What's an erotic dream?
Chandler: When you see naked chicks in your sleep Joey.
Joey: I have those dreams all the time, they're so cool. Rachel dreams about naked chicks too. That's so cool.
Monica: No you idiot. Rachel dreams about naked guys.
Joey: Oh, then that's not fun.
Chandler: It is if you're my dad.
(Ross and Rachel walk in, Ross goes to the counter to get their coffee)
Monica: So Rachel, how was last night?
Monica: Just fine, you don't have any news to tell us?
Rachel: News about what?
(Ross returns from the counter)
Ross: Here you go Rach. Hey guys!
Phoebe (to Ross): So, how is Luke Skywalker this morning? (the others, except for Rachel, laugh)
Ross (realizing Phoebe knows what happened): Huh?
Phoebe: Is your lightsaber still working, or did you burn it out?
Ross: Very funny Phoebe. Rach, are you ready to go?
Rachel: Sure, I really didn't want this coffee anyway.
Chandler: Come on guys, we just want to know. Are you guys back together?
All: Congratulations, Great, etc.
Phoebe: See, reunited lobsters.
CENTRAL PERK (everyone is still there. Rachel gets up to get something at the counter, Joey notices and joins her.)
Joey: So Rach, you dream about naked guys huh. Am I one of the guys?
Rachel: What?! Joey, you're sick. And no, I don't dream about you naked. (Rachel returns to the couch)
Joey (talking to no one in particular, Gunther however is right in front of him at the counter): Well I dream about you being naked.
Gunther: I dream about you too Joey.