Season
Three Highlights
This is the highlights for Season
Three in Friends. This section is not yet complete.
I will soon have screen caps and more quotes from
season 3.
Funniest Episode
in Season Three-The One Where No-one's Ready
Joey: All right they
got water, orange juice, and what looks like cider.
(takes a glass from the fridge.)
Chandler: Taste it.
Joey: (drinks from the
glass and puts it back in the fridge) Yep, it's fat.
I drank fat!
Chandler: Yeah, I know,
I did that two minutes ago.
Joey: (entering) Where's
my underwear?!
Ross: Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Come on, come on, what. You took his underwear?
Chandler: He took my
essence!
Ross: Okay, now hold
on. Joey, why, why can't you just wear the underwear
you're wearing now?
Joey: Because, I'm not
wearing any underwear now.
Ross: Okay, then why
do you have to wear underwear tonight?
Joey: It's a rented tux.
Okay. I'm not gonna go commando in another man's fatigues.
Chandler: Well, then
it looks like somebody is gonna have to give back
somebody his cushions.
Joey: Okay, you hide
my clothes. I'm gonna do the exact opposite to you.
Chandler: What are you,
what are you gonna show me my clothes?
Joey: Hey, opposite,
is opposite! (leaves)
Chandler: He's got nothing!
(Joey enters wearing
a lot of clothes)
Joey: Okay, buddy-boy.
Here it is. You hide my clothes, I'm wearing everything
you own.
Chandler: Oh my God!
That is so not the opposite of taking somebody's underwear!!
Joey: Look at me! I'm
Chandler! Could I be wearing any more clothes? Maybe
if I wasn't going commando...
Chandler: Oooo-ooh!
Joey: Yeah. Whew, it's
hot with all of this stuff on. I ah, I better not
do any, I don't know, lunges. (starts doing lunges)
Ross: Okay, okay. Enough,
enough with the lunging. No! I'm sick of this. Okay.
I've had it up to here with you two! Neither you can
come to the party!
Chandler: Jeez, what
a baby.
Joey: Yeah, Ross, way
to ruin it. I was just going to get dressed.
Ross: You know what I
don't care. The only person I cared about getting
dressed, is the one person that says she's not even
gonna go. Look Rach, I'm sorry. Okay. Look, I-I wa,
I was a jerk. I'm sorry I yelled. I want you there,
I need you there. Look, what, what can I do that can
show you how much, how much I want you to be there.
Joey: You could drink
the fat.
Ross: Hi, welcome, to
an adult conversation.
Rachel: No, no, no, now
wait, wa, wa, waa-it a minute, wait a minute, wait
a minute, wait a minute. That actually, uh, that sounds
interesting.
Ross: What?
Rachel: I think you should
drink the fat.
Joey: Yaaaay!
Sadest Episode
in Season Four-The One The Morning After
Monica: Okay, all right
don’t judge me to much. Okay? Um, but I saw this
info-mercial, and um, I swear to you I have never-ever
bought anything on TV before, except for this mop.
But there was this stuff on leg waxing, it just, it
looked so amazing....
Phoebe: Waxine!!
Monica: Yes! Have you
seen it?
Phoebe: Oh, it’s
incredible! I so want to be a Waxine girl.
Monica: I know!!
Phoebe: God. Do think
it really doesn’t hurt? ‘Cause how can they
do that?
Monica: Hello! Organic
substances recently discovered in the depths of the
rain forest!
Phoebe: They have the
best stuff in there.
[Scene: Chandler and
Joey's, Ross has told Chandler and Joey his terrible
act.]
Chandler: Oh my God!
Oh my God!
Joey: Yeah. We figured
when we couldn’t find you, you’d gone home
to make up with Rachel. Which is probably what you
shoulda done. Huh?
Ross: You think?! God,
I, ah, I’m in hell. I mean what, what am I gonna
do? Rachel’s all like, ‘I love you and,
and let’s work on this.’ And all I can think
about is, ‘What is she gonna do? What is she
gonna say?’ when I tell her what I did.
Chandler: Well, before
we answer that, I think we should address the more
important question. How dumb are you?
Ross: What?! Look, we’re
trying to rebuild a relationship here, right. How
am I supposed to do that here, without being totally
honest with each other?
Joey: Look, Ross look,
I’m on board about this totally honesty thing,
I am, just not about stuff that’s gonna get you
in trouble.
Chandler: He’s right.
Nobody’s gonna benefit, and you’re just
gonna hurt her.
Joey: Yeah, and there
won’t be a relationship left to rebuild.
Ross: Yeah, but don’t
you think....
Chandler: All right look,
if you absolutely have to tell her, at least wait
until the timing’s right. And that’s what
deathbeds are for.
Ross: Yeah, okay. (he
plops down into one of the leather chairs, with the
footrest extended.)
Joey: All right, okay,
now, we just have to make sure she doesn’t find
out some other way. (spins the chair around so that
Ross is facing him) Did you think about the trail?
Ross: What trail?
Joey: (stomps on the
footrest which pops Ross up into a sitting position)
The trail from the woman you did it with to the woman
you hope never finds out who did it! (slapping his
hands with each word) You always have to think about
the trail!
Ross: Oh, I-I don’t
think there’s any trail.
Chandler: Okay, okay-okay,
ah, Chloe works with that guy Issac. Issac’s
sister is Jasmine. And Jasmine works at that message
place with Phoebe. And Phoebe’s friends with
Rachel. And that’s the trail, I did it!
[Scene: Monica's Bedroom,
Monica and Phoebe are waxing their legs.]
Phoebe: (reading from
the instructions) After applying the Waxine and linen
strips to leg number one,
Monica: Did that!
Phoebe: Grasp one of
the linen strips by its ‘easy grab tab’
and pull it off in one quick pain free motion.
Monica: Okay. (Does so.)
Ow!!!!! Ow-oh-oh!
Phoebe: Was it not pain-free?
Monica: No. It was painful.
Oh my God , they should call it Pain-zine, now with
a little wax.
Phoebe: Huh, well, the
girls in the satin nighties on the commercial don’t
seem to think it’s that bad.
Monica: That’s because
their nerves are probably deadened from being so stupid.
But hey, y'know if you don’t believe me, please,
by my guest.
Phoebe: (Removing one
of the strips) Ow-ow-ow-ow! Oh my God!!!
Monica: Now, are you
glad we didn’t start with the bikini strips?
Monica and Phoebe: Ow!!!!!!!
Ow-ow-ow-ow!
(Hearing the screaming
Chandler and Joey rush in. Joey has a pan, Chandler
has a tea kettle.)
Phoebe: We’re all
right.
Monica: It’s okay,
it’s okay.
Phoebe: We’re all
right.
Monica: We were just
waxing our legs.
Chandler: Off?!!
Phoebe: For your information,
this happens to be a pain like no man will ever experience.
Chandler: Yeah, well
I don’t think you can make that statement, unless
you’ve been kicked in an area that God only meant
to be treated nicely.
Joey: Yeah, I-I think
that women just have a lower threshold of pain than
men, that’s all. I mean, come on, it’s just
a little wax.
Phoebe: Oh yeah, come
here. (Puts a little wax on Joey’s arm and puts
a strip on it.)
Chandler: Oh, that’s
mature.
Joey: Okay, fine, so
now what, I just pull it off?
Phoebe: Uh-huh.
Monica: That’s right.
(Joey laughs, pulls it
off, then does a high-pitched whine.)
(Rachel picks up a newspaper
and starts beating Ross with it.)
Phoebe: Should we do
something?
Chandler: Yeah, never
cheat on Rachel.
Joey: Oh man, pizza?
I like pizza. (makes like he is trying to send a telepathic
message to Rachel) Put olives on the pizza.
Phoebe: We could eat
the wax! It’s organic.
Chandler: Oh great, food
with hair on it.
Phoebe: No, not the used
wax.
Chandler: Because that
would be crazy?
Ross: Okay, well here
we are. Now we’re in a tough spot again, Rach.
What do you want to do? How do you want to handle
it? Huh? Do you wanna fight for us? Or, do you wanna
bail? (sits down next to her) Look, I, (on the verge
of tears) I did a terrible, stupid, stupid thing.
Okay? And I’m sorry, I wish I could take it back,
but I can’t. (We see Monica and Phoebe are almost
in tears.) I just can’t see us throwing away
something we know is so damn good. Rachel, I love
you so much.
(He kisses her on her
shoulder, then her neck, then the side of her face,
then just before he kisses her on the lips....)
Rachel: No Ross!! (stands
up and moves away from him) Don’t! You can’t
just kiss me and think you’re gonna make it all
go away, okay? It doesn’t work that way. It doesn’t
just make it better. Okay?
Ross: Okay, okay, okay.
Rachel: (softly) I think
you should go.
