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Season Three Highlights

This is the highlights for Season Three in Friends. This section is not yet complete. I will soon have screen caps and more quotes from season 3.

Funniest Episode in Season Three-The One Where No-one's Ready

Joey: All right they got water, orange juice, and what looks like cider. (takes a glass from the fridge.)

Chandler: Taste it.

Joey: (drinks from the glass and puts it back in the fridge) Yep, it's fat. I drank fat!

Chandler: Yeah, I know, I did that two minutes ago.


Joey: (entering) Where's my underwear?!

Ross: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Come on, come on, what. You took his underwear?

Chandler: He took my essence!

Ross: Okay, now hold on. Joey, why, why can't you just wear the underwear you're wearing now?

Joey: Because, I'm not wearing any underwear now.

Ross: Okay, then why do you have to wear underwear tonight?

Joey: It's a rented tux. Okay. I'm not gonna go commando in another man's fatigues.

Chandler: Well, then it looks like somebody is gonna have to give back somebody his cushions.

Joey: Okay, you hide my clothes. I'm gonna do the exact opposite to you.

Chandler: What are you, what are you gonna show me my clothes?

Joey: Hey, opposite, is opposite! (leaves)

Chandler: He's got nothing!


(Joey enters wearing a lot of clothes)

Joey: Okay, buddy-boy. Here it is. You hide my clothes, I'm wearing everything you own.

Chandler: Oh my God! That is so not the opposite of taking somebody's underwear!!

Joey: Look at me! I'm Chandler! Could I be wearing any more clothes? Maybe if I wasn't going commando...

Chandler: Oooo-ooh!

Joey: Yeah. Whew, it's hot with all of this stuff on. I ah, I better not do any, I don't know, lunges. (starts doing lunges)

Ross: Okay, okay. Enough, enough with the lunging. No! I'm sick of this. Okay. I've had it up to here with you two! Neither you can come to the party!

Chandler: Jeez, what a baby.

Joey: Yeah, Ross, way to ruin it. I was just going to get dressed.

Ross: You know what I don't care. The only person I cared about getting dressed, is the one person that says she's not even gonna go. Look Rach, I'm sorry. Okay. Look, I-I wa, I was a jerk. I'm sorry I yelled. I want you there, I need you there. Look, what, what can I do that can show you how much, how much I want you to be there.

Joey: You could drink the fat.

Ross: Hi, welcome, to an adult conversation.

Rachel: No, no, no, now wait, wa, wa, waa-it a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. That actually, uh, that sounds interesting.

Ross: What?

Rachel: I think you should drink the fat.

Joey: Yaaaay!


Sadest Episode in Season Four-The One The Morning After

Monica: Okay, all right don’t judge me to much. Okay? Um, but I saw this info-mercial, and um, I swear to you I have never-ever bought anything on TV before, except for this mop. But there was this stuff on leg waxing, it just, it looked so amazing....

Phoebe: Waxine!!

Monica: Yes! Have you seen it?

Phoebe: Oh, it’s incredible! I so want to be a Waxine girl.

Monica: I know!!

Phoebe: God. Do think it really doesn’t hurt? ‘Cause how can they do that?

Monica: Hello! Organic substances recently discovered in the depths of the rain forest!

Phoebe: They have the best stuff in there.


[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Ross has told Chandler and Joey his terrible act.]

Chandler: Oh my God! Oh my God!

Joey: Yeah. We figured when we couldn’t find you, you’d gone home to make up with Rachel. Which is probably what you shoulda done. Huh?

Ross: You think?! God, I, ah, I’m in hell. I mean what, what am I gonna do? Rachel’s all like, ‘I love you and, and let’s work on this.’ And all I can think about is, ‘What is she gonna do? What is she gonna say?’ when I tell her what I did.

Chandler: Well, before we answer that, I think we should address the more important question. How dumb are you?

Ross: What?! Look, we’re trying to rebuild a relationship here, right. How am I supposed to do that here, without being totally honest with each other?

Joey: Look, Ross look, I’m on board about this totally honesty thing, I am, just not about stuff that’s gonna get you in trouble.

Chandler: He’s right. Nobody’s gonna benefit, and you’re just gonna hurt her.

Joey: Yeah, and there won’t be a relationship left to rebuild.

Ross: Yeah, but don’t you think....

Chandler: All right look, if you absolutely have to tell her, at least wait until the timing’s right. And that’s what deathbeds are for.

Ross: Yeah, okay. (he plops down into one of the leather chairs, with the footrest extended.)

Joey: All right, okay, now, we just have to make sure she doesn’t find out some other way. (spins the chair around so that Ross is facing him) Did you think about the trail?

Ross: What trail?

Joey: (stomps on the footrest which pops Ross up into a sitting position) The trail from the woman you did it with to the woman you hope never finds out who did it! (slapping his hands with each word) You always have to think about the trail!

Ross: Oh, I-I don’t think there’s any trail.

Chandler: Okay, okay-okay, ah, Chloe works with that guy Issac. Issac’s sister is Jasmine. And Jasmine works at that message place with Phoebe. And Phoebe’s friends with Rachel. And that’s the trail, I did it!

[Scene: Monica's Bedroom, Monica and Phoebe are waxing their legs.]

Phoebe: (reading from the instructions) After applying the Waxine and linen strips to leg number one,

Monica: Did that!

Phoebe: Grasp one of the linen strips by its ‘easy grab tab’ and pull it off in one quick pain free motion.

Monica: Okay. (Does so.) Ow!!!!! Ow-oh-oh!

Phoebe: Was it not pain-free?

Monica: No. It was painful. Oh my God , they should call it Pain-zine, now with a little wax.

Phoebe: Huh, well, the girls in the satin nighties on the commercial don’t seem to think it’s that bad.

Monica: That’s because their nerves are probably deadened from being so stupid. But hey, y'know if you don’t believe me, please, by my guest.

Phoebe: (Removing one of the strips) Ow-ow-ow-ow! Oh my God!!!

Monica: Now, are you glad we didn’t start with the bikini strips?


Monica and Phoebe: Ow!!!!!!! Ow-ow-ow-ow!

(Hearing the screaming Chandler and Joey rush in. Joey has a pan, Chandler has a tea kettle.)

Phoebe: We’re all right.

Monica: It’s okay, it’s okay.

Phoebe: We’re all right.

Monica: We were just waxing our legs.

Chandler: Off?!!

Phoebe: For your information, this happens to be a pain like no man will ever experience.

Chandler: Yeah, well I don’t think you can make that statement, unless you’ve been kicked in an area that God only meant to be treated nicely.

Joey: Yeah, I-I think that women just have a lower threshold of pain than men, that’s all. I mean, come on, it’s just a little wax.

Phoebe: Oh yeah, come here. (Puts a little wax on Joey’s arm and puts a strip on it.)

Chandler: Oh, that’s mature.

Joey: Okay, fine, so now what, I just pull it off?

Phoebe: Uh-huh.

Monica: That’s right.

(Joey laughs, pulls it off, then does a high-pitched whine.)


(Rachel picks up a newspaper and starts beating Ross with it.)

Phoebe: Should we do something?

Chandler: Yeah, never cheat on Rachel.


Joey: Oh man, pizza? I like pizza. (makes like he is trying to send a telepathic message to Rachel) Put olives on the pizza.

Phoebe: We could eat the wax! It’s organic.

Chandler: Oh great, food with hair on it.

Phoebe: No, not the used wax.

Chandler: Because that would be crazy?


Ross: Okay, well here we are. Now we’re in a tough spot again, Rach. What do you want to do? How do you want to handle it? Huh? Do you wanna fight for us? Or, do you wanna bail? (sits down next to her) Look, I, (on the verge of tears) I did a terrible, stupid, stupid thing. Okay? And I’m sorry, I wish I could take it back, but I can’t. (We see Monica and Phoebe are almost in tears.) I just can’t see us throwing away something we know is so damn good. Rachel, I love you so much.

(He kisses her on her shoulder, then her neck, then the side of her face, then just before he kisses her on the lips....)

Rachel: No Ross!! (stands up and moves away from him) Don’t! You can’t just kiss me and think you’re gonna make it all go away, okay? It doesn’t work that way. It doesn’t just make it better. Okay?

Ross: Okay, okay, okay.

Rachel: (softly) I think you should go.

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