This is the highlights for Season
Five in Friends. This section is not yet complete.
I will soon have screen caps and more quotes from
season 5. My favorite season.
in Season Five-The One Where Everyone Finds
Ross: It would be so
cool to live across from you guys!
Joey: Hey, yeah! Then
we could do that telephone thing! Y'know, you have
a can, we have a can and it's connected by a string!
Chandler: Or we can do
the actual telephone thing.
Phoebe: (looking out
the window) Oh, look! There's Monica and Chandler!
(Starts yelling.) Hey! Hey, you guys! Hey! (Chandler
and Monica start taking each other's clothes off.)
Ohh!! Ohh! Ahh-ahhh!!
Phoebe: (screaming) Ahhh!!
Chandler and Monica!! Chandler and Monica!!
Rachel: Oh my God!
Phoebe: CHANDLER AND
Rachel: OH MY GOD!!!
Phoebe: OH!! MY EYES!!!
Rachel: Phoebe!! Phoebe!!
It's okay!! It's okay!!
Phoebe: NO! THEY'RE DOING
Rachel: I KNOW!! I KNOW!!
Phoebe: YOU KNOW?!!!
Rachel: Yes, I know!
And Joey knows! But Ross doesn't know so you have
to stop screaming!!
Ross: (entering) What's
Phoebe and Rachel: Ohhh!!!
Rachel: (trying to divert
his attention from the window by jumping up and down)
Ross: What?! What?!
Rachel: Nothing! Oh God,
we're just so excited that you want to get this apartment!
Ross: Actually, it looks
really good. (Turns towards the window and now Phoebe
starts jumping to divert his attention.)
Phoebe: (Screaming incoherently.)
Get in here!!! (Motions to join her and Rachel.)
(Ross starts jumping
and screaming incoherently and hops over and joins
in on the group hug.)
Rachel: Phoebe just found
out about Monica and Chandler.
Joey: You mean how they're
friends and nothing more? (Glares at Rachel.)
Rachel: No. Joey, she
knows! We were at Ugly Naked Guy's apartment and we
saw them doing it through the window. (Joey gasps)
Actually, we saw them doing it up against the window.
Phoebe: Okay, so now
they know that you know and they don't know that Rachel
Joey: Yes, but y'know
what? It doesn't matter who knows what. Now, enough
of us know that we can just tell them that we know!
Then all the lying and the secrets would finally be
Phoebe: Or, we could
not tell them we know and have a little fun of our
Chandler: Yeah, listen,
Joey isn't gonna be here tonight so why don't you
come over and I'll let you uh, feel my bicep. Or maybe
Phoebe: I'll have to
get back to you on that. Okay, bye! (Hangs up.) Oh
my God! He wants me to come over and feel his bicep
Rachel: Are you kidding?!
Rachel: I can not believe
he would do that to MonWhoa! (She stops suddenly
and slowly turns to point at Joey. Joey is avoiding
her eyes.) Joey, do they know that we know?
Joey: They know you know.
Rachel: Ugh, I knew it!
Oh I cannot believe those two!
Phoebe: God, they thought
they can mess with us! They're trying to mess with
us?! They don't know that we know they know we know!
(Joey just shakes his head.) Joey, you can't say anything!
Joey: I couldn't even
if I wanted too.
Chandler: Okay! Okay!
Okay! You win! You win!! I can't have sex with you!
Phoebe: And why not?!
Chandler: Because I'm
in love with Monica!!
(Monica comes out of
the bathroom like a bolt, and Rachel and Joey both
Chandler: Love her! That's
HER!!! I love her!! (They
walk together and hug.) I love you, Monica.
Monica: I love you too
Chandler. (They kiss.)
Phoebe: I justI
thought you guys were doing it, I didn't know you
were in love!
in Season Five-The One With All The Resolutions
Ross: Y'know what? I'm
gonna go out on a limb and say no divorces in '99!
Rachel: But your divorce
isn't even final yet.
Ross: Just the one divorce
in '99! Y'know what, I am gonna be happy this year.
I am gonna make myself happy.
Chandler: Do you want
us to leave the room, or?
Ross: Everyday I am gonna
do one thing that I haven't done before. That my friends
is my New Year's resolution.
Phoebe: Ooh! That's a
good one! Mine is to pilot a commercial jet.
Chandler: That's good
one too, Pheebs. Now all you have to do is find a
planeload of people who's resolution is to plummet
to their deaths.
Phoebe: Maybe your resolution
is to not make fun of your friends, especially the
ones who may soon be flying you to Europe for free
on their own plane.
Monica: She has a better
chance of sprouting wings and flying up your nose
than you do of not making fun of us.
Ross: In fact, I'll bet
you 50 bucks that you can't go the whole year without
making fun of us. Eh, y'know what, better yet? A week.
Chandler: I'll take that
bet my friend. And you know what, paying me the 50
bucks could be the "new thing you do that day!"
(Ross looks at him.) And it starts right now!
Joey: I am ready for
my first lesson.
Phoebe: Okay, lesson
one: chords. Now, I don't know the actual names of
the chords but umm, I-I-I made up names for the way
my hand looks while I'm doing them. (She starts to
show Joey the chords. Transcribers Note: For this
one you'll have to use your imagination, 'cause it
would take me 50 pages to describe each one. So if
you want to see them, you'll have to wait for this
episode to come to a TV near you.) (Holding up her
hand and then reconfiguring her hand with each name.)
So then, this is Bear Claw. Okay, umm, Turkey Leg
and Old Lady. (Joey tries to imitate them.Chandler
on the other hand is ready to pop. Dying to crack
a joke or comment about Phoebe's teaching method)
Chandler: (notices something)
Ross is wearing leather pants! Does nobody else see
that Ross is wearing leather pants? (Pause, no one
speaks.) Someone comment on the pants!
Rachel: I think they're
Monica: I like 'em.
Joey: Yeah! (Chandler
bangs the table in frustration.)
Monica: I like them a
Chandler: That's not
what I had in mind! See, people like Ross don't generally
wear these types of pants. You see, they're very tight.
(Motions to Ross's buttock.) Maybe there's something
in that area.
(They all speak at once
in general approval of his pants selection; Joey asks
where he got them. I can't pick out the rest of it.)
Ross: Oh see, I-I needed
a new thing for today and there's this leather store
that always smells so good and I thought to myself,
"Wow, (To Chandler) I never really owned a good
smelling pair of pants before."
(No one says anything.)
Chandler: Oh come on!!
Ross: (after he's left)
Okay, seriously, what do you think?
Joey: You look like a
Rachel: Awful, absolutely
awful. (Plus other negative comments from Phoebe and
[Cut to Elizabeth Hornswoggle's
bathroom, Ross frantically pulls his shirt out and
drops his pants. He exhales in sheer ecstasy as the
coolness of the bathroom envelops his legs. He sits
on the cast iron bathtub, again gasping in pleasure.
He next grabs a magazine and starts to blow air on
his exposed legs, but that doesn't work the way he
wants it to. So he throws the magazine down, looks
around for another idea, and finds one. He jumps up
and hops to the sink. He turns on the water and starts
to splash some on his legs, cooling them further.]
Ross: (in ecstasy) Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Elizabeth: (yelling from
outside) Hey, my favorite part is coming up!
(He goes to pull up his
pants, but can't seem to get them past his knees.
He frantically tries to pull them up to no avail.
Panic sets in.)
Ross: Oh my God!
[Scene: Chandler, Joey,
and Ross's, The phone rings and Joey answers it.]
Joey: (answering phone)
Ross: (calling from Elizabeth's
bathroom) Joey, it's Ross! I need some help!
Joey: Uhh, Chandler's
Ross: Well, you can help
Ross: Listen, I'm in
Ross: No, I-I got really
hot in my leather pants so I took them off but they
must have shrunk from the-the sweat or-or-or my legs
expanded from the heat. Look, I-I can't put them back
on. I can't!
Joey: Oh. That is quite
a situation. Uh, do you see any like, powder?
Ross: Powder! Yeah! Yeah,
I have powder! (Grabs some of her shelf.)
Joey: Good-good, okay,
sprinkle some of that on your legs, it'll absorb some
of the moisture and then you can get your pants back
Ross: Yeah, okay, hold
on! (He puts the phone down and proceeds to spread
a large amount of powder on his legs and makes another
attempt at pulling up his pants. It doesn't work,
and without picking up the phone leans down to it.)
(Almost in tears.) They're not coming on man.
Joey: Umm, do you see
Ross: Ohh, I-I see lotion,
I have lotion! Will that work?
Joey: Yeah, sure, spread
some of that on there.
Ross: Hold on.
(Ross proceeds to apply
copious amounts of the lotion on his legs. He literally
starts spraying the back of his legs with the lotion,
and as he applies some to his butt he makes a happy
face like he enjoyed that sensation. After using about
half the bottle he again tries to pull up his pants,
but at the first sign of resistance, his hand slips
off of the pants and hits him in the forehead.)
Joey: Ross? You okay?
Ross: They're still,
they're still not coming on man and the lotion and
the powder have made a paste!
Joey: Really?! Uhh, what
color is it?
Ross: What difference
does that make?!
Joey: Well, I'm justif
the paste matches the pants, you can make yourself
a pair of paste pants and she won't know the difference!
Rachel: (entering) Joey,
do you have a minute?
Ross: Dude, what am I
Joey: (To Ross) Uh, Rachel's
here, so good luck man, let me know how it works out.
(He hangs up the phone and strands Ross in the bathroom.)
Rachel: Oh, Joey, I have
such a problem!
Joey: Oh well, you're
timing couldn't be better. I am putting out fires
all over the place.
Oh good, okay, I can't take it anymore. I can't take
it anymore. So you win, okay? Here! (Hands him the
50 bucks he's about to owe him.) Pheebs? Flying a
jet? Better make it a spaceship so that you can get
back to your home planet! And Ross, phone call for
you today, Tom Jones, he wants his pants back! And
Hornswoggle? What are you dating a character from
Fraggile Rock?! (He sits down and sighs in relief.)