Since Season Nine
is over, I have merged all the spoilers into one.
Its the same day that Rachel has given
birth so the whole episode is set in the hospital with
Rachels room as the main set..Everyone is in the same
clothes... the 1st scene starts with Joey on his knees
& Rachels in the bed..she seems baffled by his "proposal"
but says YES! anyway.. Ross then bursts in followed
by everyone else & Jack (Elliott Gould) who does magic
tricks for the baby.. Scene 2 was everyone except Rachel
looking thru a window at the baby except Jack is looking
at the wrong one & theres ALOT of farting jokes!!!Monica
takes Chandler to one side & says she wants to make
a baby right there..Chandler says in order to impregnate
her he needs to be facing the other way!! (She was stood
behind him at that point with her arms round him!) MATTY
re-wrote that line as it was'nt funny enough the 1st
time..he also says "honey, I'm tired! I'll have sex
with you..but NO foreplay!" and she says "deal!" Next
scene is Rachel in bed discussing the "proposal" with
Phoebe who thinks that its ROSS who has proposed! Chandler
& Monica are having sex in the cupboard again (this
was shot behind a screen!!) & Jack walks by & overhears
them & listens at the door not knowing who it is...Ross
is disgusted at his dad..Again MATTY changed his lines
each time as Jack bursts in on him & Monica..it went
from "Hello Sir! You KNOW Monica!?" to "Hello Sir! You
KNOW my balls!" ..This brought the house down!! But
I can't see them using it!!!! Then Rachels still in
bed trying to breastfeed the baby (which is a mechanical
on by the way!!)..in front of Joey who is appalled..
She falls asleep & Ross & Phoebe go in & see the engagement
ring on her finger & Ross can't remember proposing!
He thinks he MIGHT have tho! Chandler & Mon are still
in the closet & Jack is outside all of them are in shock..Chandler
says they'll have to go out eventually & he puts their
underwear in his pocket..they tell Jack that they are
trying for a baby so he shows them some "positions"
to try!! Chandler says he's gonna have a heart attack
& pulls out the red underwear to wipe his forehead!
Rach & Mon discuss Joeys proposal & Rachel confides
that she doesn't really want to marry him! Chandler
asks Joey if hes spoken to Rach about the proposal &
Joey says Rachel has put ring on & then she took her
breast out so he could'nt discuss it! Chandler says
"Oh My God! And what was her breast like???!!"...Joey
says he did'nt look..but the babys head was in the way
anyway!!!!! And did Chandler know theres a couple screwing
in the cupboard!!! Chandler is slightly interested ..then
SHOCKED as he realises its him & Mon!!!!!! Next is a
VERY long scene between Rachel/Ross/Joey where all the
misunderstandings are cleared up & Ross says he was'nt
going to propose..the ring was just in his pocket! So
basically Rach is alone... The last scene is Jack at
the cupboard door again passing sex leaflets underneath..but
Chan/Mon walk by and say hi!!! So Jack asks for them
back!!(He thought they were still in there!!
This spoiler came directly from nbcmv
SEASON PREMIERE MISTAKENLY FINDS JOEY
AS LORD OF THE RING -- The season premiere resumes after
last year's finale as Joey (Matt LeBlanc) finds himself
mistakenly engaged to Rachel (Jennifer Aniston) soon
after she delivers her baby girl -- but the comedy of
errors spins out of control when Phoebe (Lisa Kudrow)
assumes that the dazed Ross (David Schwimmer) was the
one who proposed. Elsewhere at the hospital, Joey can't
help but sneak a peek as Rachel tries unsuccessfully
to nurse her baby while an inspired Monica (Courteney
Cox Arquette) and Chandler (Matthew Perry) return to
a supply closet for a little privacy. Elliott Gould
(found on angel's board)
TOW Emma Cries
> SCENE C
>INT. CONFERENCE ROOM - A LITTLE LATER (DAY 2)
>(CHANDLER, MS. LUBETSKY, EXTRAS)
>CHANDLER AND A GROUP OF COLLEAGUES ARE SEATED
>AT A CONFERENCE TABLE. AS THE STERN MS. LUBETSKY
>CONDUCTS THE MEETING, CHANDLER STRUGGLES TO STAY
> MS. LUBETSKY
> The question is, what can we do to beat
> forecasts for third-quarter earnings?
>CHANDLER DRIFTS OFF AND HIS HEAD BOWS FORWARD, THEN
>POPS UP AS HE IS JOLTED AWAKE.
> MS. LUBETSKY (CONT'D)
> The numbers we're seeing from NY,
> Chicago, and London are consistently
>CHANDLER STRETCHES HIS NECK AND SHAKES HIS SHOULDERS.
> MS. LUBETSKY (CONT'D)
> But may of our field offices have had
> disappointing yields. Boston is down
> seventeen percent. Atlanta is down
> thirty-one percent. Houston is down
> twenty-two percent. I could go on and
>CHANDLER STABS HIMSELF IN THE THIGH WITH A SHARP
> MS. LUBETSKY (CONT'D)
> Now, i'm starting to get pressure from
> from upstairs, so i want to be proactive
> about this.
>CHANDLER TAKES HIS FINGERS AND LITERALLY PULLS HIS
>OPEN. HE FACES MS. LUBETSKY AND LISTENS, HOLDING
>AND LOWER EYELIDS WIDE APART.
> MS. LUBETSKY (CONT'D)
> For starters, i think we should use the
> successes in our central offices as a
> template to increase productivity elsewhere.
> I have a forty-two point plan...
>WITH A SIGH, CHANDLER LETS HIS EYELIDS GO AND DRIFTS
> MS. LUBETSKY (CONT'D)
> Point one: I want to set up an intercompany
> communications system so your colleagues
> in other cities feel less alienated. What do
> you guys think?
> Sounds good. Great. Absolutely
> (POPS UP) Yes!
>AS THE GROUP REACTS, AND CHANDLER BEGINS TO DRIFT
> CUT TO:
> SCENE E
>INT. CONFERENCE ROOM - LATER (DAY 2)
>(CHANDLER, MS. LUBETSKY, EXTRAS)
>CHANDLER IS DEAD ASLEEP, HEAD TILTED BACK, MOUTH
>LUCKILY, A CO-WORKER IS BLOCKING MS. LUBETSKY'S
VIEW OF HIM.
> MS. LUBETSKY
> Okay, if everyone is on board, it's
> settled. Chandler?
>CHANDLER JOLTS AWAKE, TOTALLY DISORIENTED.
> MS. LUBETSKY
> Are you on board?
> What can i say other than "yes"!
> MS. LUBETSKY
> Well then, problem solved. Chandler
> will head up the Tulsa Operation.
> We're gonna miss you, Bing.
>AS CHANDLER REACTS, WE...
> CUT TO:
> SCENE P
>INT. MS. LUBETSKY'S OFFICE - LATER (DAY 2)
>(CHANDLER, MS. LUBETSKY)
>IT'S AN IMPOSING OFFICE. MS. LUBETSKY SITS BEHIND
>LARGE DESK. CHANDLER KNOCKS AND ENTERS.
> Uh, ma'am, do you have a minute?
> MS. LUBETSKY
> For a team player like you? Any
> time. I just got off the phone
> with Tulsa. They're very excited.
> That's actually what i wanted to
> talk to you about. Ma'am i can't go
> to Tulsa.
> MS. LUBETSKY
> (ICY) But you said you could.
> Yeah, it's a funny story, actually.
> I... I kinda fell asleep in the meeting
> this morning, so when i said I'd
> move to Tulsa, I didn't really know
> what i was saying.
> MS. LUBETSKY
> You fell asleep?
> Only because I was up all night worrying
> about this morning's metting. Isn't that
> funny? (OFF HER GLARE) Irony? Not a fan?
> Okay. (THEN) So here's the thing...I
> went home and told my wife about us moving
> to Tulsa, and she won't do it. She, unlike
> me, is not a team player. Opposites
> attract, huh? Anyway, me, I love Tulsa.
> Tulsa's heaven. Tulsa's Italy. Please
> don't send me there. (THEN) Here's a
> thought... maybe we just close the Tulsa
> office. (WITH DISDAIN) I mean... Oklahoma?
> Arkansas craps on Oklahoma. Of course,
> now i remember, you're from Oklahoma.
>MS. LUBETSKY CROSSES HER ARMS AND STARES AT CHANDLER.
> CHANDLER (CONT'D)
> The point is, if it's all the same
> to you, I'd rather just stay here.
> (READING HER LOOK) Or maybe i don't
> have that option anymore. And it's
> the Tulsa job or nothing. (SIGHS)
> Look Carol, -- can i call you Carol?
> Of course not. Can we just talk like
>CHANDLER SITS ON HER DESK AND KNOCKS OVER A FRAMED
>HE PICKS IT UP.
> CHANDLER (CONT'D)
> (RE: PICTURE) Your son's a handsome
> fellow. Strapping. That's you daughter,
> isn't it? She's lovely. I like a girl
> with a strong jaw. (THEN) So I guess
> what I'm asking is... This Ford Focus...
> is that a four door? (OFF HER LOOK)
> Two's fine.
'OK, I was at the taping for episode 2 of season 9 and
Can tell you
what happens up to that point.
Basically Rachel & Joey don't end up engaged. Ross
is upset at the
both of them because Rachel said yes to joey and joey
ross. Joey tells Ross to hit him so he can feel better.
at joey, and joey ducks. Ross Breaks his thumb hitting
a pole in
Central Perk instead, much to the delight of Gunther.
It seems like
they will be slowly bringing Ross & Rachel Back
the season. In other storylines, monica is the only
one who can get
rachel's baby to stop crying, leading monica to believe
has "magical powers". Rachel forces Monica
to stay and take care of
the baby so she can finally get some sleep. Chandler
falls asleep in
a big meeting at work, and unwittingly agrees to move
to Omaha to
head up the office there. He trys to get out of it but
just ends up
insulting his boss, mistaking her daughter as her son.
These are the
basic plotlines, but I won't give away any more punchlines
anyway) because this is a very funny episode that you'll
title: The One With The Pediatrician
- Ross, and Rachel's baby going to a pediatrician
- Joey & Phoebe go out on a double date, Phoebe brings
a girl for
Joey and vice versa
I guess Mondler's story has something to do with Tulsa.
Tulsa. Tulsa. Tulsa. Tulsa. Tulsa. (I like to say Tulsa)
INT. RESTAURANT EVENING (NIGHT 3)
(Joey, Phoebe, Mike, Mary Ellen, Extras)
JOEY AND MIKE ARE SITTING AT A FOUR TOP
I gotta tell you, I don't know why I'm doing this with
(THEN) But I did just get out of a nine year relationship.
guess I should be open to new and interesting things.
know, take some risks.
That's good. Get the boring stuff out now. (THEN,
NOTICING) Alright, here they come. Just follow my
Lead and it's going to be fine. All you have to do is
Pretend to be 'Mike'.
I am Mike.
PHOEBE AND MARY ELLEN APPROACH. AD LIB INTRODUCTIONS.
THEY ALL SIT DOWN.
(TO JOEY) I have to admit, I'm a big fan of your show.
Thank you. And thank you for bringing up the fact that
I'm famous. It can be very hard to slip that into casual
(TO MIKE) So, how do you and Joey know each other?
(NERVOUS) How do Joey and I know each other?
Wow. If I had a nickel for every time somebody
Asked me that.
HE CHUCKLES ANXIOUSLY.
(QUICKLY) From school.
Yeah, we met in college.
JOEY SHAKES HIS HEAD 'NO'.
I mean high school.
JOEY GESTURES, 'EH, NOT SO MUCH'.
What are you up to these days?
Well, I'm a lawyer AND WE…
You hear that? Mike is an attorney! Way
To go Mike!
Actually, I just gave up my practice.
What? I'm just hearing about this now?
That's the kind of thing you usually run
I just always wanted to play the piano
Professionally. And I figured if I don't do
This now, I never will.
(TOUCHED) That is so great. I like that much
better than the lawyer thing.
I knew you would. That's why I waited till now
To introduce you to Mike.
I thought you thought he was still a lawyer.
What? No. That's not what I meant. Let's get
You a cocktail.
INT. PEDIATRICIAN'S OFFICE WAITING ROOM (NIGHT 3)
(Rachel, Ross, Emma, Dr. Gettleman, Receptionist)
RACHEL HAS EMMA. SHE IS TALKING TO THE RECEPTIONIST WHO
A SLIDING GLASS PARTITION.
Hi, I'm Rachel Green. I have an appointment
Dr. Gettleman is finishing up with a patient.
He should be out shortly. Why don't you
Just have a seat?
Okay. Thank you.
SHE NOTICES A PRINTED LIST ON THE WALL NEAR THE NURSE'S
I'm sorry. Does that say 'doctor's home number'?
THE RECEPTIONIST SHOOTS HER A LOOK. RACHEL BACKS OFF.
THE DOOR TO THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE OPENS. DR. GETTLEMAN
ENTERS, SPEAKING TO SOMEONE WHO IS STILL IN THE ROOM.
I think it's just a cold. It's definitely no strep.
WE REVEAL THAT THE PERSON HE WAS SPEAKING TO IS ROSS.
Are you sure, because my throat's really...
ROSS SEES RACHEL WHO IS STARING AT HIM, MOUTH AGAPE.
HE STARTS TO SAY SOMETHING THEN TURNS AND WITHOUT A
WORD EXITS INTO THE ROOM, CLOSING THE DOOR BEHIND HIM.
END OF ACT ONE
INT. RESTAURANT A LITTLE LATER (NIGHT 3)
(Joey, Phoebe, Mike, Mary Ellen, Extras)
THE FOUR OF THEM ARE STILL THERE.
I can't believe you two went to high school
Together. I bet you were cute back then.
(TO JOEY) I bet you were, too.
Yep. That's us. Just a couple of cute guys
Who've been good friends for a long time.
Yeah, and now look at you. You a music
Attorney, and you on Days of Our Lives.
(EXCITED) Days of Our Lives! That's
why you look so familiar!
MIKE JUST SITS THERE, REALIZING HE BLEW IT.
(QUICKLY) It's a game we play from back
in high school. We pretend we don't know
each other. We used to play a lot of games.
(THEN, TO MIKE, THREATENING)
Remember the one where I punch you in the
Face for not being cool?
(GETTING SUSPICIOUS) Mike, can I ask
you a question?
How many sisters does Joey have?
JOEY QUICKLY FLASHES MIKE SIX FINGERS.
(ONTO HIM) No, he doesn't. He has seven.
(TO MIKE) What are you doing?
(HOLDING UP SIX FINGERS AGAIN)
I said seven! (LOOKING AT FINGERS
AND REALIZING) Agghh!!
You guys don't know each other?
What is going on here?!
(TO JOEY, FLAT) Wow. I can't believe this
(TO JOEY) You set me up with a stranger?!
Because I forgot about our date.
Unbelievable! I spent all this time finding
The perfect girl for you. She's smart, cute,
Oh, who are you kidding? (THEN TO JOEY)
And you find some guy off the street?! This
I'm sorry. But can't we blame this on
The guy we hardly know?
Look, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have agreed
Uch. I'm out of here.
PHOEBE GETS UP AND EXITS.
MARY ELLEN GETS UP.
You're leaving, too?
I'll stay if you can tell me my name.
Have a good night.
INT. PEDIATRICIAN'S OFFICE WAITING ROOM ...A LITTLE LATER
(Ross, Sally, Boy, Girl, Receptionist, Nurse, Extras)
THERE ARE A FEW CHILDREN AND THEIR PARENTS WAITING. ROSS
APPROACHES THE RECEPTIONIST. AS HE DOES, AN ATTRACTIVE
SALLY, ENTERS WITH HER CHILD.
Um, hi. I don't mean to be a jerk, but the
Baby with the rash came in after me.
The doctor will be right with you, (POINTED)
ROSS RETURNS TO HIS SEAT. SALLY'S DAUGHTER IS READING
Mommy, I can't find Waldo.
ROSS TAKES A QUICK GLANCE AT THE BOOK.
Where is he, at the circus? (BEEN THERE)
He's behind the elephant.
Wow. So, your child's a big fan of
Waldo books, too?
(COVERING) Uh, yeah, that's what it
is. (THEN) My name's Ross, by the way.
Hi, I'm Sally. (NOTICING) So, no ring.
Can I assume you're a single parent, too?
I am a single parent.
So, are you here with your little one?
(EVASIVE) Hmmm, yeah, being a
single parent is tough.
You're right. There's almost no
Time for a social life. I mean,
Where are you gonna meet someone?
(FLIRTY) Maybe... in a pediatrician's
SALLY'S DAUGHTER STANDS BETWEEN THEM WITH THE BOOK
Mommy, I can't ...
(GLANCES AT BOOK QUICKLY) Seashore?
Row boat. (BACK TO SALLY) So anyway...
Say you did meet someone in the pediatrician's
Office. Would you possibly meet him later
That sounds nice.
THE NURSE ENTERS.
Rossie? We're ready for you.
THERE IS A BEAT. ROSS DOESN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO.
(OFF HIS NON RESPONSE) Rossie?
Uh Right. (TO A NEARBY BOY)
Come on Ross, Jr. It's time to go
See the doctor.
THE BOY DOESN'T ACKNOWLEDGE ROSS. SALLY LOOKS
AT ROSS, CONFUSED.
Ross Jr.? (OFF BOY'S NON RESPONSE,
TO SALLY) They're so difficult at this age.
THE BOY TURNS TO SALLY.
(TO SALLY, CONFUSED) Mommy?
(TO ROSS) What are you doing?
(BEAT) Single mother of two, huh?
904 TOW The Sharks
Monica goes in Tulsa to surprise Chandler,
who's watching porn on tv. When she comes in he suddenly
flips into a Nature channel, showing sharks, so Monica
thinks they make Chandler sexed up. When they come home
Monica turns on a shark show, thinking this will turn
In the meantime Phoebe goes out with
Mike (played by Paul Rudd like it was reported in another
thread) but Ross reminds Phoebe that she didn't have
a real relationship in a month, so she gets sad and
cries all the time, when she's out with Mike. Ross is
upset, so he goes looking for Mike to tell him about
"Vicrum" (a fake guy for Phoebe that he's making up)
and that Phoebe was with him for 6 years. It turns out
Mike already asked for another date to Phoebe and Ross
rushes to Phoebe to tell him about "Vicrum", but everything
ends nicely with Mike and Phoebe being cute and kissing.
Joey dates Hailey (played by Susan
Ward), and after the date they go to her place and Joey
thinks he has slept with her before, but she doesn't
remember, so she tries to cionvince her, until it turns
out it's her room mate he has slept with!
Rachel and Emma barely appear on this
episode, probably due to Jennifer being away from the
905: THE ONE WITH PHOEBE'S BIRTHDAY
DINNER air date: 31/10/02
SLAP-HAPPY BIRTHDAY FOR A FAMISHED
PHOEBE -- While birthday girl Phoebe (Lisa Kudrow) and
Joey (Matt LeBlanc) giddily await the arrival of their
fellow friends to celebrate at a fancy restaurant, a
delayed Rachel (Jennifer Aniston) frets about leaving
her baby Emma with a sitter while Monica (Courteney
Cox Arquette) and Chandler (Matthew Perry) light each
other's fire when he gives in to his urge to resume
smoking. Meanwhile, a starving Phoebe and Joey try to
hold their primo table without drooling while Rachel,
Ross (David Schwimmer), Monica and Chandler encounter
906: THE ONE WITH THE MALE NANNY air
"FRIENDS'" 200TH FEATURES FREDDIE PRINZE
JR. AS SENSITIVE MALE NANNY WITH FELLOW GUEST STARS
HANK AZARIA AND PAUL RUDD -- In the Emmy Award-winning
comedy's 200th episode, a jealous Ross (David Schwimmer)
mocks Rachel's (Jennifer Aniston) choice of an over
sensative male nanny (guest star Freddie Prinze Jr.)
for Emma while Phoebe (Lisa Kudrow) must choose between
two ardent suitors -- new friend Mike (guest star Paul
Rudd, "The Cider House Rules") or visiting former boyfriend
David (Hank Azaria, "Tuesdays with Morrie"). Elsewhere,
Chandler (Matthew Perry) feels threatened by Monica's
(Courteney Cox Arquette) constant chatter about a male
co- worker whose sense of humor outwits even his. Matt
LeBlanc also stars.
9.07 The One with Ross's Inappropriate
- Joey is going to move out and looks
for an apartment. Chandler accompanies him to see Richard's
- The realtor showing the flat to the
guys will think they will move in together. So imagine
the funny scene when Chandler is offended by the comment
and Joey takes it personal asking Chandler "You think
I am not good enough for you?"
- Mike invites Phoebe to come and meet
his parents at their anniversary, she goes to the wrong
party and arrives late to the real party with wine all
over her sweater.
- The host at the wrong party says
a toast to "the reasonable doubt", gives us a bit insight
what the party guests are and what the host did.
- Mike's parents are named Tom and
- Phoebe will be... well, Phoebe! She
will share a little too much about Mike and her to his
mom, giving mom a "vivid picture" In order to fit in,
Phoebe will even eat veal!!!
- Awwwwwww... love will be in the air
for Phoebe and Mike.
TOW RACHEL'S OTHER SISTER
It is Thanksgiving day, everyone is
having Thanksgiving dinner at Monica and Chandler's.
Rachel invites her sister(-about inviting Amy- , Ross:
It'll be like the time when the Pilgrims brought the
Indians syphillis), Amy (played by Christina Applegate),
to dinner because her boyfriend cancelled on her(because
his wife came back into town). Amy is a little hard
to take..... Chandler suggests that they use the wedding
china for Thanksgiving dinner and Monica disagrees,
but they do anyways, and anytime anything happens to
the dishes, she freaks (ie. "No knocking near the plates!"
or "Comedy with the plates will not be well received...").
Joey and Chandler were watching the Thanksgiving Day
Parade on tv, and Joey was supposed to be on a float
with cast members from "Days of Our Lives" but forgot.
(Joey: This is the kind of thing i write on my arm!
(Chandler takes Joey's left arm and pulls up the sleeve
to reveal that it indeed is written on his arm) Joey:
Aww! Stupid long sleeves!!!!) Amy thinks that it would
be great if Ross and Rachel died and then she would
get Emma, and at first not know what she'd be doing,
but then rise to the occasion, etc. Ross and Rachel
say that if something happened to them (knock on wood),
that although they haven't asked them yet, Monica and
Chandler would get Emma. Amy is offended, while Monica
and Chandler are touched, Chandler even almost starts
to cry. Then, the subject comes up that if Monica and
Chandler died, that Ross' parents would then get Emma.
And if something happened to only Monica, Chandler would
have to give Emma up because he'd be the "fun dad" and
they'd need someone like Monica, who's the "disciplinarian."
(Chandler: I'd have to give her up, even though I've
outlasted whatever killed the three of you???) Meanwhile,
everyone is eating at the table, and Joey(with food
in his mouth, mind you) blurts out: "So who has to die
for me to get her???" He looks over at Phoebe and winks...
The One With Rachel's Phone Number
spoiler from nbcmv:
RACHEL AND PHOEBE'S GIRLS
CLUB HITS WRONG NUMBER -- Rachel (Jennifer
Aniston) and Phoebe (Lisa Kudrow) step out for a ladies'
when Rachel impulsively gives a handsome patron her
phone number, she
worries that he'll call when Ross is there -- which
he is, as he and
Phoebe's boyfriend Mike (guest star Paul Rudd, "The
Rules") spend an uncomfortable night trying to
find anything in
common. Meanwhile, Chandler (Matthew Perry) tries to
sneak into New
York to see Monica (Courteney Cox Arquette) after nixing
LeBlanc) offer of free Knicks basketball tickets --
but Joey suspects
Monica is cheating and stands guard at their apartment.
HO-HO-OKLAHOMA! (WHERE CHANDLER
MIGHT SPEND CHRISTMAS ALONE); SELMA BLAIR GUEST STARS
-- When Chandler (Matthew Perry) has to spend Christmas
working on a deadline project in Tulsa, Monica (Courteney
Cox Arquette) suspects the worst when she discovers
that he will be working with a beautiful co-worker (guest
star Selma Blair, "Legally Blond") -- who was once the
runnerup to Miss Oklahoma. Meanwhile, while toiling
in Tulsa, Chandler recalls some of the more embarrassing
moments from previous holidays shared with his "Friends."
Jennifer Aniston, David Schwimmer, Lisa Kudrow and Matt
LeBlanc also star.
TOW Rachel Goes Back To Work
air date: 9/1/03
TOW Phoebe's Rats
NEW OFFICE HUNK HAS RACHEL IN A FUNK
AT HER BIRTHDAY PARTY; DERMOT MULRONEY AND PAUL RUDD
Rachel (Jennifer Aniston) is steamed
when she learns that Monica (Courteney Cox) innocently
invited her hunky new workplace rival (guest star Dermot
Mulroney, "My Best Friend's Wedding") to her birthday
party while Ross (David Schwimmer) has his hands full
keeping Joey's (Matt LeBlanc) hands off baby Emma's
beautiful new nanny (guest star Melissa George). Elsewhere,
the fur flies when Phoebe (Lisa Kudrow) coaxes boyfriend
Mike (guest star Paul Rudd, "The Cider House Rules")
into co-parenting a clutch of baby rats that were born
in her cabinet.
913: TOW Monica Sings Airs: 30/1/03
(found on televeisionwithoutpity.com)
Ross shows up at Rachel work and she
is kissing some guy who works there. (I guessing they
meet when she went back to work in 911.) Ross gets upset
and leaves with her seeing. She stops and says she wants
to talk with Ross first. Ross meanwhile ask this girl
out on a date who is crazy (I guessing the waitress
he is talking about in 914.) and Rachel ones into them.
They have a big fight and at the end Rachel ask Joey
if Emma and her can move in with him.
TOW the mugging
(found on friends-boards.com)
Chandler is starting his new carrer
as an intern but he like the
Joey gots a interview for a movie. The
produce who is deaf think he
great but anyone arounds him thinks Joey is the worst
It is TOW Mugging.
Ross and Phoebe are talking on a street.
R0SS TALKS ABOUT GOING ON A SECOND DATE WITH A WAITRESS
AND HIS A GOOD FEELING ABOUT IT. Anyone someone mugs
them and Ross hands over anything and gives his code
for his credit cards is Emma. But before he leaves Phoebe
realizes him as a dude she knew grewing up on the street
and they hug and he gives them stuff back. Not sure
want happens from there (Likely Ross has another major
storyline avoiding his date but no info and Phoebe likely
cathes up with the mugger.) but durning the closing
tag Ross bumps into him on the street and they start
chatting. No info on Monica's or Rachel's storylines
The title was changed to The One With
The Blind Dates
Ross will be going to a restaurant.
He is sitting alone and looks terribly bored. He plays
with butter with his knife and it lands on another table.
A waiter offers him another drink but
Ross doesn't know if he should as he doesn't want to
be drunk when... he goes home alone tonight.
It turns out Ross was stood up. He
says that it is no big deal since this was a blind date.
The waiter inquires if Ross was worried
that his date came, saw him, and left. Ross says NO!
So the waiter tells him not to worry, the restaurant
will show him a good time.
Ross comments that he was hoping to
get sex tonight but free crab cakes will do just fine...
When the waiter moves away, another
comes to see him to tell him that he is not allowed
to give free food so that a customer stays. The first
waiter tells the second to move off.
Ross sees the scene and wonders what
is going on. It turns out the waiters had a little pool
going to know how long it would take Ross to go home.
Ross asks to get his free crab cakes
wrapped and leaves immediately.
WILL BANK OF JOEY FORECLOSE ON CASH-STRAPPED
MONICA AND CHANDLER? -- When Monica (Courteney Cox Arquette)
and Chandler (Matthew Perry) are financially strapped,
she secretly asks Joey (Matt LeBlanc) for a large loan.
When an unsuspecting Chandler also approaches his pal
for some cash, Joey accidentally betrays Monica's confidence
-- and then freaks out Chandler when he covers by saying
she wants the money for a breast enhancement. Meanwhile,
Phoebe (Lisa Kudrow) asks her boyfriend Mike (guest
star Paul Rudd) to move in with her. Rachel's (Jennifer
Aniston) attempt to baby-proof the apartment tamper
with a frustrated Joey's sanity. David Schwimmer also
This is an Account of what happens from
someone who went to the taping.
I had MAJOR reservations about posting
a detailed spoiler, but I felt that I should do it for
Okay, so I don't really know if it's
gonna be 917 or not, but it's my best guess. I figure
917 or 918. The Title is: The One With the Memorial
Service (or maybe it was just Memorial, but I think
it's Memorial Service).
In order to fully understand this episode,
we got to watch scenes from the previous week's (not
to mention David Schwimmer wasn't there that week, so
they had to film his scenes). Phoebe asks Mike to move
in with her and he enventually agrees. Then after she
tells the gang, Monica asks Phoebe about getting married
and get's Phoebe very excited about it. When Mike comes
in Monica calls him "Groomie" (combo of groom
& roomie) and it freaks Mike out. Mike tells Phoebe
that he never wants to get married again. Phoebe tries
to accept this, but realizes that she can't, and they
Note: While filming this they gave us
bottles of water to drink, but told us not to crinkle
them up, especially while shooting. So they were getting
ready to shoot but you could hear a plasticy noise.
And Jim (the comedian) was like, "Whoever's doing
that stop," but it didn't stop. So they were looking
for who was doing it and then someone said, "It's
Le Blanc popping the bubble wrap."
Then they finally started filming the
next episode (the one I saw in it's entirity).
In the first scene: Ross is on the Internet
looking at Chandler and his college alumni page. Joey
and Chandler come in. Joey has a basketball and tries
to spin it on his finger but hits something in the process.
When Ross gets up Chandler writes stuff about Ross:
that he cloned a dinosaur and that it was his girlfriend.
Hes about to hit send when Joey stops him. When
Ross comes back, Joey invites him to play basketball
and hits something else. Ross then yells at him before
he and Chandler leaves. Upset, Joey hits send.
Note: Le Blanc had to redo the basketball
scenes a couple times. Once he set up the music box
to play Pop Goes the Weasel.
The next scene Phoebe asks Monica to
make sure she doesnt contact Mike. Ross comes
in after having read what Chandler wrote about him.
In retaliation, Ross wrote that Chandler was gay.
Note: Lisa had messed up the line and
they shot from the top again. Lisa came in and both
her and Courteney started to talk at the same time so
they needed to start over again. And Matthew said, "I
did it right." Then when the scene shifts to Chandler
and Ross, David comes and talks to Matthew and then
David messed up (the long speech about how it's impossible
for him to have had sex with a dinosaur) and Matthew
was like, "I STILL haven't messed up."
The next scene Joey comes in to find
Emma with Hugsy. Rachel tells him that Emma found him
and that now she just cant sleep without him.
Note: There was an instance where Le
Blanc was supposed to deliver his line and then said
something about the creepy animatronic baby.
Joey cant sleep and tries to take
Hugsy away from Emma.
Rachel wakes up and Joey covers by saying he heard Emma
stirring and was there to move Hugsy closer to her.
Rachel gets up to go to the bathroom and Joey tells
Emma "This isn't over!"
Note: Instead of saying "going
to the bathroom," one scene Jennifer says, Back
one out, and then everyone starts cracking up,
especially Le Blanc. Then Jennifer reappeared and was
like, "Le Blanc told me to!"
Monica comes to visit Phoebe and Phoebe
desperately wants to call Mike, so Monica takes away
all her phones.
Joey tries to give Emma a new Hugsy.
He takes the old one and gives her the new one, but
Emma starts crying again. Joey gives a speech about
how they should be the same, but Emma won't give in.
So he takes the new Hugsy into his room saying "He's
not the same."
Note: Le Blanc is known as the clumsy
one on the set and certainly proved it when he walked
into the door before entering his room.
Monica tries to comfot her "gay"
husband, Chandler. In retaliation Chandler writes that
Ross is dead. Ross comes in upset. He then tells Chandler
he's gonna use Adobe (or in another scene just a random
photo product) to put his head on gay porn.
Note: Matthew finally flubbed his line
and was like, "First time today!"
Monica comes to see Phoebe again. There's
a knock on the door and Phoebe says she ordered Chinese.
Mike is there holding Chinese food, and Phoebe says
something like, "Of all the Chinese people there
are, they sent Mike!" Then says to Monica, Why
can't the two of them just hang out as friends. Monica
does everything she has to make sure the two stay on
Chandler comes to Ross' apartment, to
see that Ross has actually created the pictures of him
as a gay man. Ross is upset that his death hasn't gotten
any responses online, so he sets himself a memorial
service. While sending out the info, he accidentally
sends out the gay picture of Chandler.
Joey takes to original Hugsy back and
is doing lines from "Days of Our Lives" with
him when Rachel knocks on the door. Rachel discovers
Hugsy with him and tries to convince him to give it
back saying the reason why Emma likes it so much is
because it reminds her of her "Nutball Uncle Joey."
And that she likes it because "it smells like him.
Go figure." Joey is moved by this but still won't
cave. Rachel then says Emma will forgive him, but she
certainly won't. And then says something about taking
Hugsy from an innocent child (Emma) and then Joey says,
"That's how I got him in the first place."
Monica is still trying to mediate between
Mike and Phoebe when she has to go to the bathroom.
Mike delivers a beautiful speech to Phoebe about how
if he knew that there last time together was going to
be their last time he would have remembered to cherish
it (or something like that). Monica comes running out
of the bathroom saying, "Kiss him you fool."
Phoebe's like what? and Monica says if Phoebe doesn't
kiss him, she will. So Mike & Phoebe kiss when Mike's
friend comes in saying he knew he would find Mike there.
His friend tells Monica she wasn't doing a very good
job (at least he remembered about the base phone that
Phoebe used to call Mike) and the two of them argue.
While that's happening Phoebe & Mike slip away.
Monica & Chandler hold a memorial
service for Ross. The first person to come is really
for Chandler. Then an attractive girl named Cory comes
for Ross, and Ross comes out saying he's alive at which
point Cory is shocked and disgusted. Ross doesn't care
however, because she had a crush on him.
Note: David once said that she has a
crush on him, and they had to reshoot it. Since it was
such a long day, Matthew was like, "Just pretend
he said had."
Whew, I'm done!
Rachel is at the "Days of Our Lives"
set where Joey is getting ready to shoot a scene in
which Drake wants to stop Olivia from getting married.
Rachel notices one actor that she has
a crush on but Joey tells her he's gay. Then she
notices Chase Lassiter and she knows he is surely not
The shooting starts. Rachel sits near
by and watches. The scene is well acted and
emotional. Rachel gets caught up in the action.
Drake Ramoray (Joey's character) wants
to stop Olivia to do the biggest mistake of her
life and he kisses her. She slaps him. Chase comes next
to Rachel who doesn't want to be
disturbed. The scene on TV continues... Drake asks Olivia
to let them have a chance. She
says she doesn't but he says that he is the one who
doesn't, as he can't stop loving
her. As Drake takes Olivia's head and prepares to kiss
her, the director yells "cut" and
Rachel is mad and everyone stares at her and she leaves.
We see Monica in her restaurant. She is talking with
customers. One tells her how
spectacular her food is. Monica tries to be modest,
but the customer tells her that she
should take all the credit as she is the captain. But
the customer has one complain...
the musician outside is a mood killer...
Monica, not knowing about the musician,
gets out of the restaurant... Phoebe is standing
outside with her guitar next to the line of people waiting
to get in the restaurant.
Ross, filling in for Monica, and Chandler go on a trip.
Ross was thinking that Chandler
would be paying as he is his guest, but Chandler thought
that they would each pay for
it. Chandler accepts to pay even though he doesn't want
Waiters come in Ross & Chandler's
room to deliver food. It seems that Ross decided to
pay for this night as Chandler ordered almost everything
on the menu just to get back
at Ross. Chandler tells Ross that not only did he buy
all that food, he also bought him
a rugby shirt with the name of the hotel on it. :P Ross
decides to sink to Chandler's
level... He takes food from Chandler's plate but bites
on a piece of glass.
The waiter checks on Ross and tells
him that he'll check with the manager. Chandler is
mad as Ross may end up in not paying a thing!
The waiter returns and tells him that
the manager not only will pay for the meal but
also for Ross's next stay at the hotel for him and a
920 (Couldn't find a spoiler for
I'm just going to write a little summary
of the plot because I know everyone wants to know whats
going on, but I'm going to try to leave out jokes so
to not completely ruin it. The one we saw was under
the working title The One At the Fertility Clinic, and
they said it would air April 24th. Here's the summary......
Chandler goes to a fertility clininc to try to help
him and Monica get pregnant. The nurse wants Chandler
to give sperm to run a count on it, and he has trouble
trying though to trying to get it up, as the nurse that
is helping him is amazingly ugly. (Think Mimi from the
Drew Carey Show). The nurse eventually gets replaced
with a hot nurse after Chandler makes some rediculous
excuses on why he needs a new nurse, and Chandler instantly
gives some sperm out of the room he is in after seeing
the new nurse. The doctor later comes in and tells him
that his sperm count is fine, but he has some bad news.
He says the reason they are having trouble getting pregnant
is that Monica's eggs are apparently unable to support
his sperm. The doctor tells Chandler that Monica might
not ever be able to bear children. (I freaked out when
he said this to Chandler!) Ross has a dinner and a speech
at the Manhattan Association of Palentologists and Scientists
(MAPS), and comes into Central Perk seeing if anyone
wants to join him. Phoebe finally agrees to go when
Ross mentions there would be karaoke afterwards. At
the dinner, Ross meets this gorgeous young African-American
woman named Sarah. (her real name is Aesha Tyler, at
least that's what they told us....never heard of her
before) Sarah mentions that she works in the palentology
department at Manhattan College. The two kind of hit
it off, and Sarah asks Phoebe later on about Ross's
histroy while he is up on stage stumbling over a speech
about the evolution of the Teradactyl(sp?). (I don't
want to ruin the whole scene with all the jokes, but
let's just say Ross really overdresses for the occasion
when he gets onstage...) The opening scene has Joey
feeling guilty because while he was trying to calm Emma
down from crying at nighttime, she says her first word
"Dadda". It freaks Joey out that Emma thinks
he is her real dad. Later on, Ross comes in and asks
Joey to babysit Emma while he is at the dinner, because
their nanny couldn't make it. Joey initially refuses,
but when Ross presses why, Joey changes his mind and
agrees to babysit Emma. While Ross is gone, Joey tries
to convince Emma that Ross is her real dad, showing
some pictures of him and some of his dinosaur toys,
but Emma doesn't say anything. After Joey gives up and
carries Emma back to the crib, she says "Dadda"
again. Rachel comes in to talk to Monica about her confused
feelings for Joey. She says she is really reluctant
to do anything, because she feels like she might be
hurting Ross if she fell in love with one of his best
friends. Monica tells her that Ross might understand
if he is truly over her, and would probably give his
blessing if Joey still felt the same way. Rachel also
tells her that she's worried that after initially refusing
his feelings, Joey might be really angry at her if only
now she decides to return his feelings. Monica finally
convinces Rachel to talk to Joey. At the end of the
show, Rachel goes to Joey and her's apartment to talk
to him, but Joey says he also wants to talk. Rachel
asks what's going on, and Joey proceeds to tell Rachel
about how Emma said her first word, and that he feels
terrible that Emma thinks he is her real dad. Rachel
tells Joey that it will be ok, but he doesn't think
so. He said it might have been different if they were
together and that he was Emma's stepfather, but they
aren't together and never plan to be together, so he
feels too guilty about Emma thinking he's her dad. Rachel
has a pained expression on her face as Joey says this
and she silently agrees, but everyone in the audience
could tell she wants to try to talk about her feelings.
(The people sitting right behind me were sobbing while
this was scene happening.) So Joey decides it is best
if he moves out of the apartment, and Rachel agrees
and doesn't ever tell him about her feelings. The last
scene Chandler comes into his apartment looking for
Monica to tell her the news, but Monica comes out in
a low-cut lingerie piece looking to get pregnant, so
Chandler forgets what he was about to say and runs into
the bedroom after Monica. (I thought it was kind of
distasteful to do that, but since it was the tag scene
it probably was just meant as a joke.)
(Note, I just read this, (It already
aired, I'm allowed to do that! :-) and for anyone who
read that, I can tell you that probably about 90% of
that is untrue and is made up, sorry.)
Joey is having a rooftop party for his
DOOL castmates, but he doesnt want the others
to attend. He gives them his tickets to a play (reminiscent
of THE VAGINA MONOLOGUES) and says he cant go
because he has an early call the next day and needs
his rest. Rachel finds out about the party via a message
left on their answering machine and confronts Joey who
explains that Rachels fanatic behaviour embarrasses
him. She promises to be on her best behaviour and he
reluctantly lets her attend. He makes her promise not
to tell the others.
On the day of the party Rachel goes to Monicas
in her robe to say she cant go to the play because
shes sick, but Monica rips open her robe and sees
that shes dressed for a party. Monica thinks that
Rachel likes Joey, but Rachel finally explains about
the party and says Joey doesnt want the others
there because they embarrass him. They all say its
Rachel whos embarrassing.
Meanwhile, Ross meets a female professor
at the coffee shop and they start talking. They are
joined by a really boring colleague and when he goes
to the bathroom, they ditch him. They are at Monicas
when Rachel comes in pretending to be sick. Initially
she tells them she has Newcastle disease
but Aisha Tyler (dont remember her characters
name) says thats a disease for chickens. Rachel
s like, Who IS she?
Joey comes in with his robe on and tells
them to have fun at the play, hes going to bed
early. Monica rips open his robe and hes naked.
Then they are at the rooftop party and
Joey does a head count and discovers that Chandler is
missing. The next scene is Chandler sitting at the play
by himself listening to a woman discuss her period
"The One with the Donor
WILL BABY MAKE THREE -- OR FOUR -- FOR
MONICA AND CHANDLER? -- When Monica (Courteney Cox Arquette)
and Chandler (Matthew Perry) learn of their chances
for natural conception, they resort to interviewing
unsuspecting male candidates to find the perfect match
for one who could inseminate her. Elsewhere, Phoebe
(Lisa Kudrow) is in a dither about what to wear to a
party where she will meet her ex-boyfriend Mike -- at
least until she bumps into another ex in
David (Emmy Award-winning guest star Hank Azaria). Meanwhile,
Rachel (Jennifer Aniston) finds herself being mean to
Charlie (guest star Aisha Tyler, Talk Soup)
because of their common romantic interest in Joey (Matt
LeBlanc) and Ross (David Schwimmer) works hard on a
boring lecture he hopes to present at a paleontology
TOW The Barbados: Ross has a major speech
on the island so they are go including Charlie and David.
The first part is about Phoebe/David/Mike. David is
about to ask Phoebe to marry her but Mike shows up and
Phoebe hooks back up with Mike. Also Chandler erase
Ross's speech and they have to rewrite a new one. It
is raining the whole time and Joey is having a bad time.
Also Monica and company tries to keep Rachel from telling
Joey about her feelings.
The second part starts with Ross's speech.
Chandler/Monica/Mike/Phoebe have a ping-pong tourament
and it comes down to Monica/Mike. It is 41-41 but Monica
hurts her wrist and Chandler takes over for here.
Meanwhile Joey and Charlie break up.
Joey ends up in Rachel's room and she tells him about
her feelings but Joey says nothing could happened because
Ross is his best friend. Meanwhile Ross tells Charlie
about his feelings for her and they kiss. Joey walks
out of Rachel's room and sees this. He seems to turn
to head back into Rachel's room for the cliffhanger.
Thanks to Jay for these spoilers "Monica and pregnancy,
Ross and Rachel and marriage, that's all I am going
This person said their brother is an
entertainment editor at CNN. With the "Barbados"
title, it does seem plausible.
Charile is dating Joey and thinks one
of the girls in group has feeling for him but believes
it Phoebe (It is Rachel) and Rachel so of agress when
Charlie talks to her about it. Charlie, Rachel, Joey,
and Phoebe are getting ready for a party to go to where
Mike will be at and Phoebe is weird about it.
David shows up (Matt confrim this on
a radio show) and tells Phoebe about his new hot girlfriend
but it is a lie and he takes it back once he finds out
Phoebe is not with Mike and they go out for drinks before
Chandler and Monica are having dinner
with a guy (Jesse from full house) and trying to dig
up info on him to see if he can be a sperm donor since
Chandler is indeed low.
No info on Ross storyline. She claim
to only see the last half of the taping. I'm not sure
how trustworthly it is but Matthew when talking about
his new play with Hawk/David said he will be back this
season. And no tag so it looks like.
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