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SPOILERS

Since Season Nine is over, I have merged all the spoilers into one.

901

Its the same day that Rachel has given birth so the whole episode is set in the hospital with Rachels room as the main set..Everyone is in the same clothes... the 1st scene starts with Joey on his knees & Rachels in the bed..she seems baffled by his "proposal" but says YES! anyway.. Ross then bursts in followed by everyone else & Jack (Elliott Gould) who does magic tricks for the baby.. Scene 2 was everyone except Rachel looking thru a window at the baby except Jack is looking at the wrong one & theres ALOT of farting jokes!!!Monica takes Chandler to one side & says she wants to make a baby right there..Chandler says in order to impregnate her he needs to be facing the other way!! (She was stood behind him at that point with her arms round him!) MATTY re-wrote that line as it was'nt funny enough the 1st time..he also says "honey, I'm tired! I'll have sex with you..but NO foreplay!" and she says "deal!" Next scene is Rachel in bed discussing the "proposal" with Phoebe who thinks that its ROSS who has proposed! Chandler & Monica are having sex in the cupboard again (this was shot behind a screen!!) & Jack walks by & overhears them & listens at the door not knowing who it is...Ross is disgusted at his dad..Again MATTY changed his lines each time as Jack bursts in on him & Monica..it went from "Hello Sir! You KNOW Monica!?" to "Hello Sir! You KNOW my balls!" ..This brought the house down!! But I can't see them using it!!!! Then Rachels still in bed trying to breastfeed the baby (which is a mechanical on by the way!!)..in front of Joey who is appalled.. She falls asleep & Ross & Phoebe go in & see the engagement ring on her finger & Ross can't remember proposing! He thinks he MIGHT have tho! Chandler & Mon are still in the closet & Jack is outside all of them are in shock..Chandler says they'll have to go out eventually & he puts their underwear in his pocket..they tell Jack that they are trying for a baby so he shows them some "positions" to try!! Chandler says he's gonna have a heart attack & pulls out the red underwear to wipe his forehead! Rach & Mon discuss Joeys proposal & Rachel confides that she doesn't really want to marry him! Chandler asks Joey if hes spoken to Rach about the proposal & Joey says Rachel has put ring on & then she took her breast out so he could'nt discuss it! Chandler says "Oh My God! And what was her breast like???!!"...Joey says he did'nt look..but the babys head was in the way anyway!!!!! And did Chandler know theres a couple screwing in the cupboard!!! Chandler is slightly interested ..then SHOCKED as he realises its him & Mon!!!!!! Next is a VERY long scene between Rachel/Ross/Joey where all the misunderstandings are cleared up & Ross says he was'nt going to propose..the ring was just in his pocket! So basically Rach is alone... The last scene is Jack at the cupboard door again passing sex leaflets underneath..but Chan/Mon walk by and say hi!!! So Jack asks for them back!!(He thought they were still in there!!

This spoiler came directly from nbcmv

SEASON PREMIERE MISTAKENLY FINDS JOEY AS LORD OF THE RING -- The season premiere resumes after last year's finale as Joey (Matt LeBlanc) finds himself mistakenly engaged to Rachel (Jennifer Aniston) soon after she delivers her baby girl -- but the comedy of errors spins out of control when Phoebe (Lisa Kudrow) assumes that the dazed Ross (David Schwimmer) was the one who proposed. Elsewhere at the hospital, Joey can't help but sneak a peek as Rachel tries unsuccessfully to nurse her baby while an inspired Monica (Courteney Cox Arquette) and Chandler (Matthew Perry) return to a supply closet for a little privacy. Elliott Gould guest-stars.

902
(found on angel's board)

TOW Emma Cries
>
>
> SCENE C
>
>INT. CONFERENCE ROOM - A LITTLE LATER (DAY 2)
>(CHANDLER, MS. LUBETSKY, EXTRAS)
>
>CHANDLER AND A GROUP OF COLLEAGUES ARE SEATED
>AT A CONFERENCE TABLE. AS THE STERN MS. LUBETSKY
>CONDUCTS THE MEETING, CHANDLER STRUGGLES TO STAY
>AWAKE.
>
> MS. LUBETSKY
>
> The question is, what can we do to beat
> forecasts for third-quarter earnings?
>
>CHANDLER DRIFTS OFF AND HIS HEAD BOWS FORWARD, THEN
>POPS UP AS HE IS JOLTED AWAKE.
>
> MS. LUBETSKY (CONT'D)
>
> The numbers we're seeing from NY,
> Chicago, and London are consistently
> solid.
>
>CHANDLER STRETCHES HIS NECK AND SHAKES HIS SHOULDERS.
>
> MS. LUBETSKY (CONT'D)
>
> But may of our field offices have had
> disappointing yields. Boston is down
> seventeen percent. Atlanta is down
> thirty-one percent. Houston is down
> twenty-two percent. I could go on and
> on.
>
>CHANDLER STABS HIMSELF IN THE THIGH WITH A SHARP PENCIL.
>
> MS. LUBETSKY (CONT'D)
>
> Now, i'm starting to get pressure from
> from upstairs, so i want to be proactive
> about this.
>
>CHANDLER TAKES HIS FINGERS AND LITERALLY PULLS HIS EYELIDS
>OPEN. HE FACES MS. LUBETSKY AND LISTENS, HOLDING HIS UPPER
>AND LOWER EYELIDS WIDE APART.
>
> MS. LUBETSKY (CONT'D)
> For starters, i think we should use the
> successes in our central offices as a
> template to increase productivity elsewhere.
> I have a forty-two point plan...
>
>WITH A SIGH, CHANDLER LETS HIS EYELIDS GO AND DRIFTS OFF
>AGAIN.
>
> MS. LUBETSKY (CONT'D)
>
> Point one: I want to set up an intercompany
> communications system so your colleagues
> in other cities feel less alienated. What do
> you guys think?
>
> CO-WORKERS
>
> Sounds good. Great. Absolutely
>
> CHANDLER
>
> (POPS UP) Yes!
>
>AS THE GROUP REACTS, AND CHANDLER BEGINS TO DRIFT OFF
>AGAIN, WE...
> CUT TO:
>
> SCENE E
>
>INT. CONFERENCE ROOM - LATER (DAY 2)
>(CHANDLER, MS. LUBETSKY, EXTRAS)
>
>CHANDLER IS DEAD ASLEEP, HEAD TILTED BACK, MOUTH WIDE OPEN.
>LUCKILY, A CO-WORKER IS BLOCKING MS. LUBETSKY'S VIEW OF HIM.
>
> MS. LUBETSKY
>
> Okay, if everyone is on board, it's
> settled. Chandler?
>
>CHANDLER JOLTS AWAKE, TOTALLY DISORIENTED.
>
> CHANDLER
>
> Huh?
>
> MS. LUBETSKY
>
> Are you on board?
>
> CHANDLER
>
> What can i say other than "yes"!
>
> MS. LUBETSKY
>
> Well then, problem solved. Chandler
> will head up the Tulsa Operation.
> We're gonna miss you, Bing.
>
>AS CHANDLER REACTS, WE...
>
> CUT TO:
>
> SCENE P
>
>INT. MS. LUBETSKY'S OFFICE - LATER (DAY 2)
>(CHANDLER, MS. LUBETSKY)
>
>IT'S AN IMPOSING OFFICE. MS. LUBETSKY SITS BEHIND A
>LARGE DESK. CHANDLER KNOCKS AND ENTERS.
>
> CHANDLER
>
> Uh, ma'am, do you have a minute?
>
> MS. LUBETSKY
>
> For a team player like you? Any
> time. I just got off the phone
> with Tulsa. They're very excited.
>
> CHANDLER
>
> That's actually what i wanted to
> talk to you about. Ma'am i can't go
> to Tulsa.
>
> MS. LUBETSKY
>
> (ICY) But you said you could.
>
> CHANDLER
>
> Yeah, it's a funny story, actually.
> I... I kinda fell asleep in the meeting
> this morning, so when i said I'd
> move to Tulsa, I didn't really know
> what i was saying.
>
> MS. LUBETSKY
>
> You fell asleep?
>
> CHANDLER
>
> Only because I was up all night worrying
> about this morning's metting. Isn't that
> funny? (OFF HER GLARE) Irony? Not a fan?
>
> Okay. (THEN) So here's the thing...I
> went home and told my wife about us moving
> to Tulsa, and she won't do it. She, unlike
> me, is not a team player. Opposites
> attract, huh? Anyway, me, I love Tulsa.
> Tulsa's heaven. Tulsa's Italy. Please
> don't send me there. (THEN) Here's a
> thought... maybe we just close the Tulsa
> office. (WITH DISDAIN) I mean... Oklahoma?
> Arkansas craps on Oklahoma. Of course,
> now i remember, you're from Oklahoma.
>
>MS. LUBETSKY CROSSES HER ARMS AND STARES AT CHANDLER.
>
> CHANDLER (CONT'D)
>
> The point is, if it's all the same
> to you, I'd rather just stay here.
> (READING HER LOOK) Or maybe i don't
> have that option anymore. And it's
> the Tulsa job or nothing. (SIGHS)
> Look Carol, -- can i call you Carol?
> Of course not. Can we just talk like
> people?
>
>CHANDLER SITS ON HER DESK AND KNOCKS OVER A FRAMED PHOTO.
>HE PICKS IT UP.
>
> CHANDLER (CONT'D)
>
> (RE: PICTURE) Your son's a handsome
> fellow. Strapping. That's you daughter,
> isn't it? She's lovely. I like a girl
> with a strong jaw. (THEN) So I guess
> what I'm asking is... This Ford Focus...
> is that a four door? (OFF HER LOOK)
> Two's fine.

more info:

'OK, I was at the taping for episode 2 of season 9 and Can tell you
what happens up to that point.
Basically Rachel & Joey don't end up engaged. Ross is upset at the
both of them because Rachel said yes to joey and joey didn't tell
ross. Joey tells Ross to hit him so he can feel better. Ross swings
at joey, and joey ducks. Ross Breaks his thumb hitting a pole in
Central Perk instead, much to the delight of Gunther. It seems like
they will be slowly bringing Ross & Rachel Back together throughout
the season. In other storylines, monica is the only one who can get
rachel's baby to stop crying, leading monica to believe that she
has "magical powers". Rachel forces Monica to stay and take care of
the baby so she can finally get some sleep. Chandler falls asleep in
a big meeting at work, and unwittingly agrees to move to Omaha to
head up the office there. He trys to get out of it but just ends up
insulting his boss, mistaking her daughter as her son. These are the
basic plotlines, but I won't give away any more punchlines (for now
anyway) because this is a very funny episode that you'll want to
watch.'

903


title: The One With The Pediatrician

- Ross, and Rachel's baby going to a pediatrician

- Joey & Phoebe go out on a double date, Phoebe brings a girl for
Joey and vice versa

I guess Mondler's story has something to do with Tulsa.
Tulsa. Tulsa. Tulsa. Tulsa. Tulsa. (I like to say Tulsa)


INT. RESTAURANT EVENING (NIGHT 3)
(Joey, Phoebe, Mike, Mary Ellen, Extras)

JOEY AND MIKE ARE SITTING AT A FOUR TOP

MIKE

I gotta tell you, I don't know why I'm doing this with you.

(THEN) But I did just get out of a nine year relationship. I

guess I should be open to new and interesting things. You

know, take some risks.

JOEY

That's good. Get the boring stuff out now. (THEN,

NOTICING) Alright, here they come. Just follow my

Lead and it's going to be fine. All you have to do is

Pretend to be 'Mike'.

MIKE

I am Mike.

JOEY

Atta boy.

PHOEBE AND MARY ELLEN APPROACH. AD LIB INTRODUCTIONS.
THEY ALL SIT DOWN.

MARY ELLEN

(TO JOEY) I have to admit, I'm a big fan of your show.

JOEY

Thank you. And thank you for bringing up the fact that

I'm famous. It can be very hard to slip that into casual

Conversation.

PHOEBE

(TO MIKE) So, how do you and Joey know each other?

MIKE

(NERVOUS) How do Joey and I know each other?

Wow. If I had a nickel for every time somebody

Asked me that.

HE CHUCKLES ANXIOUSLY.

JOEY

(QUICKLY) From school.

MIKE

Yeah, we met in college.

JOEY SHAKES HIS HEAD 'NO'.

MIKE (CONT'D)

I mean high school.

JOEY GESTURES, 'EH, NOT SO MUCH'.

PHOEBE

What are you up to these days?

MIKE

Well, I'm a lawyer AND WE…

JOEY

You hear that? Mike is an attorney! Way

To go Mike!

MIKE

Actually, I just gave up my practice.

JOEY

What? I'm just hearing about this now?

That's the kind of thing you usually run

By me!

MIKE

I just always wanted to play the piano

Professionally. And I figured if I don't do

This now, I never will.

PHOEBE

(TOUCHED) That is so great. I like that much

better than the lawyer thing.

JOEY

I knew you would. That's why I waited till now

To introduce you to Mike.

MARY ELLEN

I thought you thought he was still a lawyer.

JOEY

What? No. That's not what I meant. Let's get

You a cocktail.


CUT TO:

SCENE P

INT. PEDIATRICIAN'S OFFICE WAITING ROOM (NIGHT 3)
(Rachel, Ross, Emma, Dr. Gettleman, Receptionist)

RACHEL HAS EMMA. SHE IS TALKING TO THE RECEPTIONIST WHO IS BEHIND
A SLIDING GLASS PARTITION.

RACHEL

Hi, I'm Rachel Green. I have an appointment

For Emma.

RECEPTIONIST

Dr. Gettleman is finishing up with a patient.

He should be out shortly. Why don't you

Just have a seat?

RACHEL

Okay. Thank you.

SHE NOTICES A PRINTED LIST ON THE WALL NEAR THE NURSE'S DESK.

RACHEL (CONT'D)

I'm sorry. Does that say 'doctor's home number'?

THE RECEPTIONIST SHOOTS HER A LOOK. RACHEL BACKS OFF.
THE DOOR TO THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE OPENS. DR. GETTLEMAN
ENTERS, SPEAKING TO SOMEONE WHO IS STILL IN THE ROOM.

DR. GETTLEMAN

I think it's just a cold. It's definitely no strep.

WE REVEAL THAT THE PERSON HE WAS SPEAKING TO IS ROSS.

ROSS

Are you sure, because my throat's really...

ROSS SEES RACHEL WHO IS STARING AT HIM, MOUTH AGAPE.
HE STARTS TO SAY SOMETHING THEN TURNS AND WITHOUT A
WORD EXITS INTO THE ROOM, CLOSING THE DOOR BEHIND HIM.

FADE OUT.

END OF ACT ONE


ACT TWO

SCENE R

FADE IN:

INT. RESTAURANT A LITTLE LATER (NIGHT 3)
(Joey, Phoebe, Mike, Mary Ellen, Extras)

THE FOUR OF THEM ARE STILL THERE.

PHOEBE

(TO MIKE)

I can't believe you two went to high school

Together. I bet you were cute back then.

MARY ELLEN

(TO JOEY) I bet you were, too.

JOEY

Yep. That's us. Just a couple of cute guys

Who've been good friends for a long time.

MARY ELLEN

Yeah, and now look at you. You a music

Attorney, and you on Days of Our Lives.

MIKE

(EXCITED) Days of Our Lives! That's

why you look so familiar!

PHOEBE

What?

MIKE JUST SITS THERE, REALIZING HE BLEW IT.

JOEY

(QUICKLY) It's a game we play from back

in high school. We pretend we don't know

each other. We used to play a lot of games.

(THEN, TO MIKE, THREATENING)

Remember the one where I punch you in the

Face for not being cool?

PHOEBE

(GETTING SUSPICIOUS) Mike, can I ask

you a question?

MIKE

Sure.

PHOEBE

How many sisters does Joey have?

MIKE

Uh...

JOEY QUICKLY FLASHES MIKE SIX FINGERS.

MIKE (CONT'D)

(CONFIDENTLY) Six.

PHOEBE

(ONTO HIM) No, he doesn't. He has seven.

JOEY

(TO MIKE) What are you doing?

(HOLDING UP SIX FINGERS AGAIN)

I said seven! (LOOKING AT FINGERS

AND REALIZING) Agghh!!

PHOEBE

You guys don't know each other?

What is going on here?!

MIKE

(TO JOEY, FLAT) Wow. I can't believe this

didn't work.

PHOEBE

(TO JOEY) You set me up with a stranger?!

Why?!

JOEY

Because I forgot about our date.

PHOEBE

Unbelievable! I spent all this time finding

The perfect girl for you. She's smart, cute,

And loose...

MARY ELLEN

Hey!

PHOEBE

Oh, who are you kidding? (THEN TO JOEY)

And you find some guy off the street?! This

Is humiliating!

JOEY

I'm sorry. But can't we blame this on

The guy we hardly know?

MIKE

Look, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have agreed

To this.

PHOEBE

Uch. I'm out of here.

PHOEBE GETS UP AND EXITS.

JOEY

Phoebe, wait.

MARY ELLEN GETS UP.

JOEY (CONT'D)

You're leaving, too?

MARY ELLEN

I'll stay if you can tell me my name.

JOEY

Have a good night.

CUT TO:

SCENE X

INT. PEDIATRICIAN'S OFFICE WAITING ROOM ...A LITTLE LATER (DAY 4)
(Ross, Sally, Boy, Girl, Receptionist, Nurse, Extras)

THERE ARE A FEW CHILDREN AND THEIR PARENTS WAITING. ROSS
APPROACHES THE RECEPTIONIST. AS HE DOES, AN ATTRACTIVE WOMAN,
SALLY, ENTERS WITH HER CHILD.

ROSS

Um, hi. I don't mean to be a jerk, but the
Baby with the rash came in after me.

RECEPTIONIST

The doctor will be right with you, (POINTED)

Sir.

ROSS RETURNS TO HIS SEAT. SALLY'S DAUGHTER IS READING A BOOK.

GIRL

Mommy, I can't find Waldo.

ROSS TAKES A QUICK GLANCE AT THE BOOK.

ROSS

Where is he, at the circus? (BEEN THERE)

He's behind the elephant.

SALLY

Wow. So, your child's a big fan of

Waldo books, too?

ROSS

(COVERING) Uh, yeah, that's what it

is. (THEN) My name's Ross, by the way.

SALLY

Hi, I'm Sally. (NOTICING) So, no ring.

Can I assume you're a single parent, too?

ROSS

I am a single parent.

SALLY

So, are you here with your little one?

ROSS

(EVASIVE) Hmmm, yeah, being a

single parent is tough.

SALLY

You're right. There's almost no

Time for a social life. I mean,

Where are you gonna meet someone?

ROSS

(FLIRTY) Maybe... in a pediatrician's

office?

SALLY

(SMILES) Maybe.

SALLY'S DAUGHTER STANDS BETWEEN THEM WITH THE BOOK

GIRL

Mommy, I can't ...

ROSS

(GLANCES AT BOOK QUICKLY) Seashore?

Row boat. (BACK TO SALLY) So anyway...

Say you did meet someone in the pediatrician's

Office. Would you possibly meet him later

For coffee?

SALLY

That sounds nice.

THE NURSE ENTERS.

NURSE

Rossie? We're ready for you.

THERE IS A BEAT. ROSS DOESN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO.

NURSE (CONT'D)

(OFF HIS NON RESPONSE) Rossie?

ROSS

Uh Right. (TO A NEARBY BOY)

Come on Ross, Jr. It's time to go

See the doctor.

THE BOY DOESN'T ACKNOWLEDGE ROSS. SALLY LOOKS
AT ROSS, CONFUSED.

ROSS (CONT'D)

Ross Jr.? (OFF BOY'S NON RESPONSE,

TO SALLY) They're so difficult at this age.

THE BOY TURNS TO SALLY.

BOY

(TO SALLY, CONFUSED) Mommy?

SALLY

(TO ROSS) What are you doing?

ROSS

(BEAT) Single mother of two, huh?

904

904 TOW The Sharks

Monica goes in Tulsa to surprise Chandler, who's watching porn on tv. When she comes in he suddenly flips into a Nature channel, showing sharks, so Monica thinks they make Chandler sexed up. When they come home Monica turns on a shark show, thinking this will turn Chandler on.

In the meantime Phoebe goes out with Mike (played by Paul Rudd like it was reported in another thread) but Ross reminds Phoebe that she didn't have a real relationship in a month, so she gets sad and cries all the time, when she's out with Mike. Ross is upset, so he goes looking for Mike to tell him about "Vicrum" (a fake guy for Phoebe that he's making up) and that Phoebe was with him for 6 years. It turns out Mike already asked for another date to Phoebe and Ross rushes to Phoebe to tell him about "Vicrum", but everything ends nicely with Mike and Phoebe being cute and kissing.

Joey dates Hailey (played by Susan Ward), and after the date they go to her place and Joey thinks he has slept with her before, but she doesn't remember, so she tries to cionvince her, until it turns out it's her room mate he has slept with!

Rachel and Emma barely appear on this episode, probably due to Jennifer being away from the set.

905

905: THE ONE WITH PHOEBE'S BIRTHDAY DINNER air date: 31/10/02

SLAP-HAPPY BIRTHDAY FOR A FAMISHED PHOEBE -- While birthday girl Phoebe (Lisa Kudrow) and Joey (Matt LeBlanc) giddily await the arrival of their fellow friends to celebrate at a fancy restaurant, a delayed Rachel (Jennifer Aniston) frets about leaving her baby Emma with a sitter while Monica (Courteney Cox Arquette) and Chandler (Matthew Perry) light each other's fire when he gives in to his urge to resume smoking. Meanwhile, a starving Phoebe and Joey try to hold their primo table without drooling while Rachel, Ross (David Schwimmer), Monica and Chandler encounter further delays.

906

906: THE ONE WITH THE MALE NANNY air date: 7/11/02

"FRIENDS'" 200TH FEATURES FREDDIE PRINZE JR. AS SENSITIVE MALE NANNY WITH FELLOW GUEST STARS HANK AZARIA AND PAUL RUDD -- In the Emmy Award-winning comedy's 200th episode, a jealous Ross (David Schwimmer) mocks Rachel's (Jennifer Aniston) choice of an over sensative male nanny (guest star Freddie Prinze Jr.) for Emma while Phoebe (Lisa Kudrow) must choose between two ardent suitors -- new friend Mike (guest star Paul Rudd, "The Cider House Rules") or visiting former boyfriend David (Hank Azaria, "Tuesdays with Morrie"). Elsewhere, Chandler (Matthew Perry) feels threatened by Monica's (Courteney Cox Arquette) constant chatter about a male co- worker whose sense of humor outwits even his. Matt LeBlanc also stars.

907

9.07 The One with Ross's Inappropriate Song

- Joey is going to move out and looks for an apartment. Chandler accompanies him to see Richard's former flat.

- The realtor showing the flat to the guys will think they will move in together. So imagine the funny scene when Chandler is offended by the comment and Joey takes it personal asking Chandler "You think I am not good enough for you?"

- Mike invites Phoebe to come and meet his parents at their anniversary, she goes to the wrong party and arrives late to the real party with wine all over her sweater.

- The host at the wrong party says a toast to "the reasonable doubt", gives us a bit insight what the party guests are and what the host did.

- Mike's parents are named Tom and Sue Hanigan.

- Phoebe will be... well, Phoebe! She will share a little too much about Mike and her to his mom, giving mom a "vivid picture" In order to fit in, Phoebe will even eat veal!!!

- Awwwwwww... love will be in the air for Phoebe and Mike.

908

TOW RACHEL'S OTHER SISTER

It is Thanksgiving day, everyone is having Thanksgiving dinner at Monica and Chandler's. Rachel invites her sister(-about inviting Amy- , Ross: It'll be like the time when the Pilgrims brought the Indians syphillis), Amy (played by Christina Applegate), to dinner because her boyfriend cancelled on her(because his wife came back into town). Amy is a little hard to take..... Chandler suggests that they use the wedding china for Thanksgiving dinner and Monica disagrees, but they do anyways, and anytime anything happens to the dishes, she freaks (ie. "No knocking near the plates!" or "Comedy with the plates will not be well received..."). Joey and Chandler were watching the Thanksgiving Day Parade on tv, and Joey was supposed to be on a float with cast members from "Days of Our Lives" but forgot. (Joey: This is the kind of thing i write on my arm! (Chandler takes Joey's left arm and pulls up the sleeve to reveal that it indeed is written on his arm) Joey: Aww! Stupid long sleeves!!!!) Amy thinks that it would be great if Ross and Rachel died and then she would get Emma, and at first not know what she'd be doing, but then rise to the occasion, etc. Ross and Rachel say that if something happened to them (knock on wood), that although they haven't asked them yet, Monica and Chandler would get Emma. Amy is offended, while Monica and Chandler are touched, Chandler even almost starts to cry. Then, the subject comes up that if Monica and Chandler died, that Ross' parents would then get Emma. And if something happened to only Monica, Chandler would have to give Emma up because he'd be the "fun dad" and they'd need someone like Monica, who's the "disciplinarian." (Chandler: I'd have to give her up, even though I've outlasted whatever killed the three of you???) Meanwhile, everyone is eating at the table, and Joey(with food in his mouth, mind you) blurts out: "So who has to die for me to get her???" He looks over at Phoebe and winks...

909
The One With Rachel's Phone Number

airs: 5/12/02

spoiler from nbcmv:

RACHEL AND PHOEBE'S GIRLS CLUB HITS WRONG NUMBER -- Rachel (Jennifer
Aniston) and Phoebe (Lisa Kudrow) step out for a ladies' night but
when Rachel impulsively gives a handsome patron her phone number, she
worries that he'll call when Ross is there -- which he is, as he and
Phoebe's boyfriend Mike (guest star Paul Rudd, "The Cider House
Rules") spend an uncomfortable night trying to find anything in
common. Meanwhile, Chandler (Matthew Perry) tries to sneak into New
York to see Monica (Courteney Cox Arquette) after nixing Joey's (Matt
LeBlanc) offer of free Knicks basketball tickets -- but Joey suspects
Monica is cheating and stands guard at their apartment.

910

HO-HO-OKLAHOMA! (WHERE CHANDLER MIGHT SPEND CHRISTMAS ALONE); SELMA BLAIR GUEST STARS -- When Chandler (Matthew Perry) has to spend Christmas working on a deadline project in Tulsa, Monica (Courteney Cox Arquette) suspects the worst when she discovers that he will be working with a beautiful co-worker (guest star Selma Blair, "Legally Blond") -- who was once the runnerup to Miss Oklahoma. Meanwhile, while toiling in Tulsa, Chandler recalls some of the more embarrassing moments from previous holidays shared with his "Friends." Jennifer Aniston, David Schwimmer, Lisa Kudrow and Matt LeBlanc also star.

911

TOW Rachel Goes Back To Work
air date: 9/1/03

912

TOW Phoebe's Rats

NEW OFFICE HUNK HAS RACHEL IN A FUNK AT HER BIRTHDAY PARTY; DERMOT MULRONEY AND PAUL RUDD GUEST-STAR --

Rachel (Jennifer Aniston) is steamed when she learns that Monica (Courteney Cox) innocently invited her hunky new workplace rival (guest star Dermot Mulroney, "My Best Friend's Wedding") to her birthday party while Ross (David Schwimmer) has his hands full keeping Joey's (Matt LeBlanc) hands off baby Emma's beautiful new nanny (guest star Melissa George). Elsewhere, the fur flies when Phoebe (Lisa Kudrow) coaxes boyfriend Mike (guest star Paul Rudd, "The Cider House Rules") into co-parenting a clutch of baby rats that were born in her cabinet.

913

913: TOW Monica Sings Airs: 30/1/03 (not confirmed)

(found on televeisionwithoutpity.com)

Ross shows up at Rachel work and she is kissing some guy who works there. (I guessing they meet when she went back to work in 911.) Ross gets upset and leaves with her seeing. She stops and says she wants to talk with Ross first. Ross meanwhile ask this girl out on a date who is crazy (I guessing the waitress he is talking about in 914.) and Rachel ones into them. They have a big fight and at the end Rachel ask Joey if Emma and her can move in with him.

914
TOW the mugging

(found on friends-boards.com)

Chandler is starting his new carrer as an intern but he like the
oldest one.

Joey gots a interview for a movie. The produce who is deaf think he
great but anyone arounds him thinks Joey is the worst actor ever.

It is TOW Mugging.

Ross and Phoebe are talking on a street. R0SS TALKS ABOUT GOING ON A SECOND DATE WITH A WAITRESS AND HIS A GOOD FEELING ABOUT IT. Anyone someone mugs them and Ross hands over anything and gives his code for his credit cards is Emma. But before he leaves Phoebe realizes him as a dude she knew grewing up on the street and they hug and he gives them stuff back. Not sure want happens from there (Likely Ross has another major storyline avoiding his date but no info and Phoebe likely cathes up with the mugger.) but durning the closing tag Ross bumps into him on the street and they start chatting. No info on Monica's or Rachel's storylines

915

(from www.friends-boards.com)

The title was changed to The One With The Blind Dates

Ross will be going to a restaurant. He is sitting alone and looks terribly bored. He plays with butter with his knife and it lands on another table.

A waiter offers him another drink but Ross doesn't know if he should as he doesn't want to be drunk when... he goes home alone tonight.

It turns out Ross was stood up. He says that it is no big deal since this was a blind date.

The waiter inquires if Ross was worried that his date came, saw him, and left. Ross says NO! So the waiter tells him not to worry, the restaurant will show him a good time.

Ross comments that he was hoping to get sex tonight but free crab cakes will do just fine...

When the waiter moves away, another comes to see him to tell him that he is not allowed to give free food so that a customer stays. The first waiter tells the second to move off.

Ross sees the scene and wonders what is going on. It turns out the waiters had a little pool going to know how long it would take Ross to go home.

Ross asks to get his free crab cakes wrapped and leaves immediately.

916

WILL BANK OF JOEY FORECLOSE ON CASH-STRAPPED MONICA AND CHANDLER? -- When Monica (Courteney Cox Arquette) and Chandler (Matthew Perry) are financially strapped, she secretly asks Joey (Matt LeBlanc) for a large loan. When an unsuspecting Chandler also approaches his pal for some cash, Joey accidentally betrays Monica's confidence -- and then freaks out Chandler when he covers by saying she wants the money for a breast enhancement. Meanwhile, Phoebe (Lisa Kudrow) asks her boyfriend Mike (guest star Paul Rudd) to move in with her. Rachel's (Jennifer Aniston) attempt to baby-proof the apartment tamper with a frustrated Joey's sanity. David Schwimmer also stars.

917

This is an Account of what happens from someone who went to the taping.

************************************************************

I had MAJOR reservations about posting a detailed spoiler, but I felt that I should do it for you people.

Okay, so I don't really know if it's gonna be 917 or not, but it's my best guess. I figure 917 or 918. The Title is: The One With the Memorial Service (or maybe it was just Memorial, but I think it's Memorial Service).

In order to fully understand this episode, we got to watch scenes from the previous week's (not to mention David Schwimmer wasn't there that week, so they had to film his scenes). Phoebe asks Mike to move in with her and he enventually agrees. Then after she tells the gang, Monica asks Phoebe about getting married and get's Phoebe very excited about it. When Mike comes in Monica calls him "Groomie" (combo of groom & roomie) and it freaks Mike out. Mike tells Phoebe that he never wants to get married again. Phoebe tries to accept this, but realizes that she can't, and they break up.

Note: While filming this they gave us bottles of water to drink, but told us not to crinkle them up, especially while shooting. So they were getting ready to shoot but you could hear a plasticy noise. And Jim (the comedian) was like, "Whoever's doing that stop," but it didn't stop. So they were looking for who was doing it and then someone said, "It's Le Blanc popping the bubble wrap."

Then they finally started filming the next episode (the one I saw in it's entirity).

In the first scene: Ross is on the Internet looking at Chandler and his college alumni page. Joey and Chandler come in. Joey has a basketball and tries to spin it on his finger but hits something in the process. When Ross gets up Chandler writes stuff about Ross: that he cloned a dinosaur and that it was his girlfriend. He’s about to hit send when Joey stops him. When Ross comes back, Joey invites him to play basketball and hits something else. Ross then yells at him before he and Chandler leaves. Upset, Joey hits send.

Note: Le Blanc had to redo the basketball scenes a couple times. Once he set up the music box to play “Pop Goes the Weasel.”

The next scene Phoebe asks Monica to make sure she doesn’t contact Mike. Ross comes in after having read what Chandler wrote about him. In retaliation, Ross wrote that Chandler was gay.

Note: Lisa had messed up the line and they shot from the top again. Lisa came in and both her and Courteney started to talk at the same time so they needed to start over again. And Matthew said, "I did it right." Then when the scene shifts to Chandler and Ross, David comes and talks to Matthew and then David messed up (the long speech about how it's impossible for him to have had sex with a dinosaur) and Matthew was like, "I STILL haven't messed up."

The next scene Joey comes in to find Emma with Hugsy. Rachel tells him that Emma found him and that now she just can’t sleep without him.

Note: There was an instance where Le Blanc was supposed to deliver his line and then said something about the creepy animatronic baby.

Joey can’t sleep and tries to take Hugsy away from Emma.
Rachel wakes up and Joey covers by saying he heard Emma stirring and was there to move Hugsy closer to her. Rachel gets up to go to the bathroom and Joey tells Emma "This isn't over!"

Note: Instead of saying "going to the bathroom," one scene Jennifer says, “Back one out,” and then everyone starts cracking up, especially Le Blanc. Then Jennifer reappeared and was like, "Le Blanc told me to!"

Monica comes to visit Phoebe and Phoebe desperately wants to call Mike, so Monica takes away all her phones.

Joey tries to give Emma a new Hugsy. He takes the old one and gives her the new one, but Emma starts crying again. Joey gives a speech about how they should be the same, but Emma won't give in. So he takes the new Hugsy into his room saying "He's not the same."

Note: Le Blanc is known as the clumsy one on the set and certainly proved it when he walked into the door before entering his room.

Monica tries to comfot her "gay" husband, Chandler. In retaliation Chandler writes that Ross is dead. Ross comes in upset. He then tells Chandler he's gonna use Adobe (or in another scene just a random photo product) to put his head on gay porn.

Note: Matthew finally flubbed his line and was like, "First time today!"

Monica comes to see Phoebe again. There's a knock on the door and Phoebe says she ordered “Chinese.” Mike is there holding Chinese food, and Phoebe says something like, "Of all the Chinese people there are, they sent Mike!" Then says to Monica, Why can't the two of them just hang out as friends. Monica does everything she has to make sure the two stay on platonic terms.

Chandler comes to Ross' apartment, to see that Ross has actually created the pictures of him as a gay man. Ross is upset that his death hasn't gotten any responses online, so he sets himself a memorial service. While sending out the info, he accidentally sends out the gay picture of Chandler.

Joey takes to original Hugsy back and is doing lines from "Days of Our Lives" with him when Rachel knocks on the door. Rachel discovers Hugsy with him and tries to convince him to give it back saying the reason why Emma likes it so much is because it reminds her of her "Nutball Uncle Joey." And that she likes it because "it smells like him. Go figure." Joey is moved by this but still won't cave. Rachel then says Emma will forgive him, but she certainly won't. And then says something about taking Hugsy from an innocent child (Emma) and then Joey says, "That's how I got him in the first place."

Monica is still trying to mediate between Mike and Phoebe when she has to go to the bathroom. Mike delivers a beautiful speech to Phoebe about how if he knew that there last time together was going to be their last time he would have remembered to cherish it (or something like that). Monica comes running out of the bathroom saying, "Kiss him you fool." Phoebe's like what? and Monica says if Phoebe doesn't kiss him, she will. So Mike & Phoebe kiss when Mike's friend comes in saying he knew he would find Mike there. His friend tells Monica she wasn't doing a very good job (at least he remembered about the base phone that Phoebe used to call Mike) and the two of them argue. While that's happening Phoebe & Mike slip away.

Monica & Chandler hold a memorial service for Ross. The first person to come is really for Chandler. Then an attractive girl named Cory comes for Ross, and Ross comes out saying he's alive at which point Cory is shocked and disgusted. Ross doesn't care however, because she had a crush on him.

Note: David once said that she has a crush on him, and they had to reshoot it. Since it was such a long day, Matthew was like, "Just pretend he said had."

Whew, I'm done!

918

Rachel is at the "Days of Our Lives" set where Joey is getting ready to shoot a scene in
which Drake wants to stop Olivia from getting married.

Rachel notices one actor that she has a crush on but Joey tells her he's gay. Then she
notices Chase Lassiter and she knows he is surely not gay.

The shooting starts. Rachel sits near by and watches. The scene is well acted and
emotional. Rachel gets caught up in the action.

Drake Ramoray (Joey's character) wants to stop Olivia to do the biggest mistake of her
life and he kisses her. She slaps him. Chase comes next to Rachel who doesn't want to be
disturbed. The scene on TV continues... Drake asks Olivia to let them have a chance. She
says she doesn't but he says that he is the one who doesn't, as he can't stop loving
her. As Drake takes Olivia's head and prepares to kiss her, the director yells "cut" and
Rachel is mad and everyone stares at her and she leaves.


We see Monica in her restaurant. She is talking with customers. One tells her how
spectacular her food is. Monica tries to be modest, but the customer tells her that she
should take all the credit as she is the captain. But the customer has one complain...
the musician outside is a mood killer...

Monica, not knowing about the musician, gets out of the restaurant... Phoebe is standing
outside with her guitar next to the line of people waiting to get in the restaurant.


Ross, filling in for Monica, and Chandler go on a trip. Ross was thinking that Chandler
would be paying as he is his guest, but Chandler thought that they would each pay for
it. Chandler accepts to pay even though he doesn't want to.

Waiters come in Ross & Chandler's room to deliver food. It seems that Ross decided to
pay for this night as Chandler ordered almost everything on the menu just to get back
at Ross. Chandler tells Ross that not only did he buy all that food, he also bought him
a rugby shirt with the name of the hotel on it. :P Ross decides to sink to Chandler's
level... He takes food from Chandler's plate but bites on a piece of glass.

The waiter checks on Ross and tells him that he'll check with the manager. Chandler is
mad as Ross may end up in not paying a thing!

The waiter returns and tells him that the manager not only will pay for the meal but
also for Ross's next stay at the hotel for him and a guest...

920 (Couldn't find a spoiler for 919)

I'm just going to write a little summary of the plot because I know everyone wants to know whats going on, but I'm going to try to leave out jokes so to not completely ruin it. The one we saw was under the working title The One At the Fertility Clinic, and they said it would air April 24th. Here's the summary...... Chandler goes to a fertility clininc to try to help him and Monica get pregnant. The nurse wants Chandler to give sperm to run a count on it, and he has trouble trying though to trying to get it up, as the nurse that is helping him is amazingly ugly. (Think Mimi from the Drew Carey Show). The nurse eventually gets replaced with a hot nurse after Chandler makes some rediculous excuses on why he needs a new nurse, and Chandler instantly gives some sperm out of the room he is in after seeing the new nurse. The doctor later comes in and tells him that his sperm count is fine, but he has some bad news. He says the reason they are having trouble getting pregnant is that Monica's eggs are apparently unable to support his sperm. The doctor tells Chandler that Monica might not ever be able to bear children. (I freaked out when he said this to Chandler!) Ross has a dinner and a speech at the Manhattan Association of Palentologists and Scientists (MAPS), and comes into Central Perk seeing if anyone wants to join him. Phoebe finally agrees to go when Ross mentions there would be karaoke afterwards. At the dinner, Ross meets this gorgeous young African-American woman named Sarah. (her real name is Aesha Tyler, at least that's what they told us....never heard of her before) Sarah mentions that she works in the palentology department at Manhattan College. The two kind of hit it off, and Sarah asks Phoebe later on about Ross's histroy while he is up on stage stumbling over a speech about the evolution of the Teradactyl(sp?). (I don't want to ruin the whole scene with all the jokes, but let's just say Ross really overdresses for the occasion when he gets onstage...) The opening scene has Joey feeling guilty because while he was trying to calm Emma down from crying at nighttime, she says her first word "Dadda". It freaks Joey out that Emma thinks he is her real dad. Later on, Ross comes in and asks Joey to babysit Emma while he is at the dinner, because their nanny couldn't make it. Joey initially refuses, but when Ross presses why, Joey changes his mind and agrees to babysit Emma. While Ross is gone, Joey tries to convince Emma that Ross is her real dad, showing some pictures of him and some of his dinosaur toys, but Emma doesn't say anything. After Joey gives up and carries Emma back to the crib, she says "Dadda" again. Rachel comes in to talk to Monica about her confused feelings for Joey. She says she is really reluctant to do anything, because she feels like she might be hurting Ross if she fell in love with one of his best friends. Monica tells her that Ross might understand if he is truly over her, and would probably give his blessing if Joey still felt the same way. Rachel also tells her that she's worried that after initially refusing his feelings, Joey might be really angry at her if only now she decides to return his feelings. Monica finally convinces Rachel to talk to Joey. At the end of the show, Rachel goes to Joey and her's apartment to talk to him, but Joey says he also wants to talk. Rachel asks what's going on, and Joey proceeds to tell Rachel about how Emma said her first word, and that he feels terrible that Emma thinks he is her real dad. Rachel tells Joey that it will be ok, but he doesn't think so. He said it might have been different if they were together and that he was Emma's stepfather, but they aren't together and never plan to be together, so he feels too guilty about Emma thinking he's her dad. Rachel has a pained expression on her face as Joey says this and she silently agrees, but everyone in the audience could tell she wants to try to talk about her feelings. (The people sitting right behind me were sobbing while this was scene happening.) So Joey decides it is best if he moves out of the apartment, and Rachel agrees and doesn't ever tell him about her feelings. The last scene Chandler comes into his apartment looking for Monica to tell her the news, but Monica comes out in a low-cut lingerie piece looking to get pregnant, so Chandler forgets what he was about to say and runs into the bedroom after Monica. (I thought it was kind of distasteful to do that, but since it was the tag scene it probably was just meant as a joke.)

(Note, I just read this, (It already aired, I'm allowed to do that! :-) and for anyone who read that, I can tell you that probably about 90% of that is untrue and is made up, sorry.)

921

Joey is having a rooftop party for his DOOL castmates, but he doesn’t want the others to attend. He gives them his tickets to a play (reminiscent of THE VAGINA MONOLOGUES) and says he can’t go because he has an early call the next day and needs his rest. Rachel finds out about the party via a message left on their answering machine and confronts Joey who explains that Rachel’s fanatic behaviour embarrasses him. She promises to be on her best behaviour and he reluctantly lets her attend. He makes her promise not to tell the others.
On the day of the party Rachel goes to Monica’s in her robe to say she can’t go to the play because she’s sick, but Monica rips open her robe and sees that she’s dressed for a party. Monica thinks that Rachel likes Joey, but Rachel finally explains about the party and says Joey doesn’t want the others there because they embarrass him. They all say it’s Rachel who’s embarrassing.

Meanwhile, Ross meets a female professor at the coffee shop and they start talking. They are joined by a really boring colleague and when he goes to the bathroom, they ditch him. They are at Monica’s when Rachel comes in pretending to be sick. Initially she tells them she has “Newcastle disease” but Aisha Tyler (don’t remember her character’s name) says that’s a disease for chickens. Rachel’ s like, “Who IS she?”

Joey comes in with his robe on and tells them to have fun at the play, he’s going to bed early. Monica rips open his robe and he’s naked. Heehee.

Then they are at the rooftop party and Joey does a head count and discovers that Chandler is missing. The next scene is Chandler sitting at the play by himself listening to a woman discuss her period

922

"The One with the Donor”

WILL BABY MAKE THREE -- OR FOUR -- FOR MONICA AND CHANDLER? -- When Monica (Courteney Cox Arquette) and Chandler (Matthew Perry) learn of their chances for natural conception, they resort to interviewing unsuspecting male candidates to find the perfect match for one who could inseminate her. Elsewhere, Phoebe (Lisa Kudrow) is in a dither about what to wear to a party where she will meet her ex-boyfriend Mike -- at least until she bumps into another “ex” in David (Emmy Award-winning guest star Hank Azaria). Meanwhile, Rachel (Jennifer Aniston) finds herself being mean to Charlie (guest star Aisha Tyler, “Talk Soup”) because of their common romantic interest in Joey (Matt LeBlanc) and Ross (David Schwimmer) works hard on a boring lecture he hopes to present at a paleontology convention.


923/924 Finale

TOW The Barbados: Ross has a major speech on the island so they are go including Charlie and David. The first part is about Phoebe/David/Mike. David is about to ask Phoebe to marry her but Mike shows up and Phoebe hooks back up with Mike. Also Chandler erase Ross's speech and they have to rewrite a new one. It is raining the whole time and Joey is having a bad time. Also Monica and company tries to keep Rachel from telling Joey about her feelings.

The second part starts with Ross's speech. Chandler/Monica/Mike/Phoebe have a ping-pong tourament and it comes down to Monica/Mike. It is 41-41 but Monica hurts her wrist and Chandler takes over for here.

Meanwhile Joey and Charlie break up. Joey ends up in Rachel's room and she tells him about her feelings but Joey says nothing could happened because Ross is his best friend. Meanwhile Ross tells Charlie about his feelings for her and they kiss. Joey walks out of Rachel's room and sees this. He seems to turn to head back into Rachel's room for the cliffhanger.


Thanks to Jay for these spoilers "Monica and pregnancy, Ross and Rachel and marriage, that's all I am going to say"

This person said their brother is an entertainment editor at CNN. With the "Barbados" title, it does seem plausible.

from Roni-Spoiler-List

Charile is dating Joey and thinks one of the girls in group has feeling for him but believes it Phoebe (It is Rachel) and Rachel so of agress when Charlie talks to her about it. Charlie, Rachel, Joey, and Phoebe are getting ready for a party to go to where Mike will be at and Phoebe is weird about it.

David shows up (Matt confrim this on a radio show) and tells Phoebe about his new hot girlfriend but it is a lie and he takes it back once he finds out Phoebe is not with Mike and they go out for drinks before the party.

Chandler and Monica are having dinner with a guy (Jesse from full house) and trying to dig up info on him to see if he can be a sperm donor since Chandler is indeed low.

No info on Ross storyline. She claim to only see the last half of the taping. I'm not sure how trustworthly it is but Matthew when talking about his new play with Hawk/David said he will be back this season. And no tag so it looks like.

 


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